RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: LipSync Lalaparuza Smackdown

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The once-a-season Lip Sync Lalaparuza is consistently one of the most entertaining episodes of any season of Drag Race, largely because it dispenses with the drama and puts the queens through their paces on what this show considers one of the seminal skills any world-class queen needs to master. You could argue that lip syncs aren’t necessarily the be-all and end-all of drag. There are certainly plenty of drag performers who don’t make lip syncing part of their act – especially those queens who are talented vocalists or do standup or magic tricks or any of the other types of drag queens out there. As we’ve long said, if there’s something people will pay to see on stage, then a drag queen has done it, from sword-swallowing to ventriloquism to spinning plates on a stick.

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But Drag Race has made the lip sync central to its idea of what a world-class drag queen should be, for better or worse. And while there’s plenty of reason to critique the show for narrowing the definition of mainstream drag and limiting the types of queens who make it to the top of that field, we have to say we agree with Drag Race on this one. We can’t claim to know why the producers of Drag Race think the way they do, but as we argued in our book, lip syncing is a quintessential drag performance style specifically because of the ways drag queens, transgender people and other gender nonconforming folks were prevented from making a legitimate living or living a truthful life.

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Lip syncing arose in the drag performing community because it was illegal to perform in drag – or to appear anywhere in clothing that didn’t conform to your assigned gender. It originally became a popular form of entertainment at queer house parties, which had to be executed on the down low and couldn’t risk bringing any attention to the attendees. Queer bars and lounges found it nearly impossible to find working musicians willing to risk their livelihoods by providing accompaniment to a man onstage in a dress, so it eventually became much easier – and cheaper – to simply put on a record and have some house party queen lip sync her way through a performance. In other words, lip syncing is quintessential drag because its rise as an art form in drag was tied directly to the oppression felt by LGBTQ people and how they responded to it with flair, creativity, and love. There may be plenty of drag queens who don’t lip sync but the fact remains that lip syncing is as pure as drag gets. And in this time when bigots and opportunists have once again turned their accusing gaze towards drag queens and transgender people and bills are being introduced all over the country to take us back to a time when the gender nonconforming had to hide underground, it’s good to remember these things.

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Having said all that, while the Lalaparuza is an entertaining watch, it’s hell on a recapper, because there’s only so much you can write about a series of performances that need to be fully experienced. Bruno picks a queen’s name out of the hopper, that queen picks her opponent and that opponent gets to pick the song. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezey, RuPaul’s wig makes us queasy.

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Also: Bruno. We just felt like that needed to be said.

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Malaysia got picked first and she chose Marcia Cubed, thinking she would be an easy competitor. Marcia chose Anitta’s “Boys Don’t Cry” and put her whole theater kid pussy into it. Marcia’s got the performing chops, she just hasn’t been given — or more accurately, grabbed – the opportunity to really show them off. We even liked her low-key costume this time. It really worked for the performance. Malaysia seemed very low energy by comparison.

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Loosey got picked next and she chose Spice because she thought she could clear the field for herself. Spice chose Joan Jett’s “Do You Wanna Touch,” largely because she had the right costume for the song (which is such a Spice way of thinking). Loosey was clearly the better performer, but Spice didn’t do as badly as we might have assumed. Loosey got the win, but she’s obviously seething over not being paid the kind of praise she thinks she deserves and the other girls are starting to get sick of her.

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Next, Luxx chose Salina who chose Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.” We could have predicted how this was going to go. Luxx is a fierce lip syncer, but this song choice really requires a queen who can find the camp and the humor in the song. Salina won this one easily.

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Jax picked Mistress, who picked Taylor Dane’s “Tell It To My Heart.” This was a pretty tight matchup. Jax is a great lip syncer and dancer, but Mistress knows how to do old school drag performing without relying on dips and flips to hold the audience’s attention.

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And finally, the matchup to end all matchups. We don’t know if things were manipulated behind the scenes in order to get Sasha Colby and Anetra to face off against each other, but we wouldn’t have minded if that were the case. This was an absolute killer of a lip sync; one that will be remembered alongside some of the greatest in the show’s history. Just a couple of electrifying queens doing real battle with each other and pulling out every trick in their considerable arsenals. We think Sasha won it, but only by a hair. If we can make one critique, it’s that Anetra relies too much on that “lick my hand, touch my pussy” move.

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With the decks cleared, it was time for the bottom girls to fight their way back. Malaysia got picked again and she chose the weakest competitor, Spice. They faced off against each other with Camila Cabello’s “Don’t Go Yet.” This was embarrassing all around. Neither queen knew the lyrics to the song, which is kind of an unforgivable mistake when the entire challenge is built around knowing the lyrics. Spice was floundering a bit more than Malaysia (who was also floundering), so she was kept in the bottom, but Ru should’ve kept them both there. When you think about what Anetra did to lose her lip sync and what Malaysia did in order to win hers, it’s a pretty unbalanced competition.

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And speaking of unbalanced, the remaining three girls went up against each other to Vanessa Williams’ “The Right Stuff.” It doesn’t seem fair to force a three-way matchup when every other one was one-on-one, but we try not to get too hung up on matters of fairness when it comes to Drag Race. You’ll only drive yourself crazy. While all three of these queens are fierce lip syncers, we thought it was silly that Anetra didn’t walk away with this one. Instead, Luxx was declared the winner.

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Anetra was given the opportunity to save one of her remaining competitors and she chose Spice, arguing that it wouldn’t be fair to pit them against each other since she’s so much more talented than Spice is. She’s right, but Spice hilariously didn’t see it as the low-key insult that it was.

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We suppose it was for the best, because an Anetra/Spice showdown would have been boring to watch. Jax fought like hell, but she just couldn’t grab control of that stage the way Anetra could.

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We’ve felt that Jax was cannon fodder for a while now, so it’s not any great miscarriage of justice to see her go, but it is kind of crazy that she was the ultimate loser in a lip sync showdown, given how much better she is at it than several of the remaining girls.

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[Photo Credit: MTV via Tom and Lorenzo]

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