Darlings, while the red carpet pickins this week were pretty much as you’d expect for August (that is to say, nearly non-existent), this is the first leftovers post we’ve had in weeks, which surely means that things are finally picking up! If we can pull together two dozen red carpet mediocrities for some drive-by judgment, why, we’ll be practically DROWNING in red carpet content options in no time! Thank you, celebrities. Now line up.
Anna Camp in Perfect Harmony
You had us until the handkerchief hem, girl. Then you had us again when we got to the sandal/pedi pairing, which is lovely.
Anne Hathaway in Brandon Maxwell
Mama’s baking and she’s out supporting some actor friends on opening night in heels and a dress with cutouts. Salute the commitment.
Cobie Smulders in Reem Acra
Everyone always complains about drugstores and retail chains putting out the holiday decorations way too early every year, but no one really talks about how celebrities all hit the red carpet in late summer dressed for New Year’s Eve. She looks great, though.
A good, practical-looking jumpsuit in industrial green is gonna need a little something-something in the styling. Otherwise one winds up looking like a second-shift plant manager.
We think you can wear sneakers with a suit, but each has to have a little style and flair. Basic running shoes with a business suit just looks lazy.
Oh, come on. Hire a seamstress, for God’s sake. Or just call down to the front desk for hemming tape and an iron. This isn’t hard, people.
We’d have loved this if it was just a jumpsuit, but that hip apron (or whatever you want to call it), just ruins the whole look.
Jameela Jamil in Reformation
We expect quite a bit of pushback, because not everyone’s into the white kick trend, but we think this is really cute.
Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
They’re fine. Neither were ever really fashion plates, but Jensen’s doing pretty good here. Jared has been wearing this same outfit for about twenty years straight.
Joel Kim Booster
We love you, Joel Kim Booster! We want to support you in your style choices, but the proportions/fit are off, darling. The shoes are too big and no one, no matter how cute, can make a semi-transparent crop top work with a traditional suit.
This all appears to be in order.
Kristen Bell in Hiraeth
Sometimes “traditional with a modern twist” works and sometimes it just looks goofy as hell. This is like edgy cult wear.
Another one out showing her support on opening night; in this case for her brother. She’s fine. The neckline’s a little weird, but it would be generic without it.
You, sir, have far too fine a set of cheekbones and jawline to be wearing such a dull and un-hot clothing.
Penélope Cruz in Ralph & Russo Couture
We usually loathe tiered dresses – and to be accurate about it here, we think the length on this one is awkward – but she clearly loves it and it does like pretty fun and photogenic. You’ve convinced us, Penelope.
He’s lucky he’s cute.
The very definition of a silver fox.
He always looks like he’s asking us for a favor. What? What do you want from us, Tom?
Tom Sturridge and Jake Gyllenhaal
The boys of the hour. While we always go easy on theatrical opening night red carpets (entirely different vibe from a film premiere), they’re actually doing pretty great for themselves, all things considered. Jake’s really pulling that double-breasted jacket and t-shirt off.
William Jackson Harper
Looks like someone’s tired of playing nerds.
[Photo Credit: INSTARimages, PRPhotos.com, Charles Sykes/Bravo]
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