RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: Corporate Queens

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And now for our completely straightforward declaration on the quality of this week’s Drag Race episode: It was kind of, sort of not entirely bad.

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The challenges were pretty decent and the efforts avoided being disastrous. On the other hand, none of it was particularly entertaining.

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We did get a cute mini-challenge where everyone got to let Plane Jane know that she’s never winning Miss Congeniality.

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Everyone got broken up into teams that seemed designed to be awkward: Plane & Q, Mhi’ya & Dawn, Morphine, Sapphira and Nymphia. In a different sort of season, these groupings might have produced some interesting drama, but the queens are all far too aware of the camera at this point in the franchise. It’s hard to get them to fight like they used to when they all know it could affect their careers.

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Ru doesn’t like to be photographed next to hot young gays so Michelle had the honor of escorting Joel Kim Booster around the Werk Room to provide encouragement and tits.

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The challenge was a comedy one that had the queens writing and performing corporate seminars, something no drag queen has ever been asked to do in the history of humankind.

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The results, like the episode itself, weren’t terrible, but they also weren’t exactly hilarious. We think there’s no better illustration of how poorly this challenge was conceptualized than the costumes the queens all chose to wear for it.

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You would think they’d all be in corporate drag serving executive realness, but you can tell just by looking at most of them that they had no idea what they were doing. Rating the performances in order: Sapphira, Nymphia, Plane, Q, Dawn, Morphine, Mhi’ya.

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The runway category was a really cute one: Drag Con 1980. The queens did a pretty good job of interpreting it without falling into cliche.

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Plane’s look was one of those inexplicable drag looks that is both perfect and also a little ugly. Q’s look was beautifully executed and poignantly presented. Turning the iconic AIDS ribbon into a lapel and train was pretty genius.

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This was our favorite Dawn look of the season — and she’s had a lot of great looks. Mhi’ya’s look is like Mhi’ya’s whole deal all season: it’s not a bad starting point, but the details are never quite right.

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Sapphira’s look managed the trick of being a perfect recreation of a classic ’80s look while also being just exagerrated enough to give it that drag spin. Morphine’s look was cheap and ugly. We honestly think it’s what landed her in the lip sync, rather than her performance. Nymphia’s look was pure stunning. No one else came close.

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At this point, it feels like we’re just marking time until she gets the crown. Granted, there are still a couple of queens nipping at her kitten heels.

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While we wouldn’t necessarily call this an epic lip sync, there was a clear sense of desperation on Mhi’ya’s part as well as a clear sense of “I am going to destroy this bitch” on Morphine’s part. They both turned it out, but Mhi’ya’s little stunt with the tearaway skirt almost certainly killed her chances.

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Let’s face it: it was long past time. She probably shouldn’t have even been here past the third week. For all we know, she’s a spectacular queen in a bar or club setting, but she was definitely not ready for the Drag Race big leagues.

Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold!   It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.

[Photo Credit: MTV via Tom and Lorenzo]

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