You don’t get to leave this table until you finish every single thing on your plate, young lady man person! Now sit there, give thanks for your blessings, pick up your fork, and JUDGE WITH US!
Austin Butler in Louis Vuitton
It’s well made, of high quality, and not completely uninteresting, as these things go.
Becky G
This, on the other hand, is boring and stale.
Carey Mulligan
She looks like she’s there to take our ticket.
Cillian Murphy in Saint Laurent
Can’t complain about that.
Dominic Sessa, Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Paul Giamatti
From the left: lowkey and unphotogenic, flattering and cute, putting the work in just a little (love the shoes).
Emerald Fennell
It’s very her, from the dominatrix bodice to the Mary Janes.
Eva Longoria in Alberta Ferretti
Meh. Worse, it’s meh with a car wash skirt, which is like meh plus awful.
Greta Gerwig in Balmain
This is kind of sharp but it’s too long on her and the color’s a little harsh for her.
Ilana Glazer in Rebecca Vallance
The bodice is burlesque but everything else reads chic funeral.
Jay Ellis in Brunello Cucinelli
Lovely in all respects.
Joel Edgerton
Acceptable, but only because it’s not sloppy or too casual.
Josh Brolin in Ermenegildo Zegna
Nice suit, but this is the bare minimum. Then again, maybe he didn’t want to compete with the kids.
Kelly Rowland
Girl! You forgot your pants! Go! We’ll cover for you!
Léa Seydoux in Louis Vuitton
Being extra on a Dune: Part Two premiere red carpet is to be expected at this point, but we don’t like that space cape at all.
Luke Evans
He always looks like he’d rather be standing there in a speedo.
Matt Bomer in Gabriela Hearst
As brown suits go, this one is very nice. We’d have liked a different shirt and shoe.
Rashida Jones
Socialite at a symphony gala.
Rebecca Ferguson in Givenchy Couture
Rebecca, this is so fucked up. We love it, girl.
Rose Byrne
Inoffensive.
Sigourney Weaver in Thom Browne
We’re not feeling the trim or the color, but it’s an appealingly offbeat design that suits her uniquely well.
Xochitl Gomez
A girl’s gotta wear what she’s gotta wear for coverage, we get it. This isn’t stylish, but she got coverage, so well done, we guess.
[Photo Credit: Todd Williamson/January Images, Chris Hyde/Getty Images for AFI, Starface Photo/Cover Images, Abaca Press/INSTARimages, Dave Allocca/Starpix/INSTARimages, Courtesy of Netflix]
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