We’re Tom and Lorenzo. You might remember us from such posts as “We flapped our hands like hysterical queens when the first pre-teaser for the new Downton Abbey movie dropped.” Putting aside the alarming idea that teaser trailers are now preceded by pre-teaser trailers (a very dirty joke lurks in there somewhere but we’re not those kinds of girls), we now present to you our bona fide, verbatim (so to speak) reaction to the thing itself. The teaser trailer thing, we mean.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
When last we saw the Dowager Countess, she was dying, signaling the end of an era for the Downton Abbey franchise and the possible turning of a corner as the Crawley family saunter blithely into the looming Great Depression and beyond that, the coming war. BUT! There’s money to be made off the Downton fandom so long as Maggie Smith is willing to continue to expand her retirement fund exponentially. So instead of the nearly 100-year-old Violet dying, she just got ridiculously fucking richer. It’s so perfectly Julian Fellowes, bless his aristocratic-loving heart. It’s such an absurd plot twist (made even more so by the suggestion that the whole family packs up their country house staff for an extended vacation with them). But here comes the shocking part.
We are going to eat up every bit of it with a silver spoon, pinkies raised.
Yes, we laughed at the absurdity of the storyline, but we also clapped with glee. Fellowes can get awfully silly, but you can’t ever accuse him of not knowing what his audience wants. Downton Abbey has always been a soap opera about insanely rich people and there’s no need to defend it against those charges. That’s the point of it; pretty people in insane houses wearing ridiculously beautiful outfits and tackling absurd problems. Why on earth does anyone need to explain the appeal of that? It’s self-evident fairy tale fantasy and we can’t wait to see it all play out on a big screen.
Anyway, Tom gets married! Mary dresses her son like a haunted Victorian dollboy! What other little tidbits can you spot?
Director: Simon Curtis
Writer: Julian Fellowes
Producers: Gareth Neame, Liz Trubridge, Julian Fellowes
Cast: Hugh Bonneville, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter, Brendan Coyle, Michelle Dockery, Kevin Doyle, Joanne Froggatt, Harry Hadden-Paton, Robert James-Collier, Allen Leech, Phyllis Logan, Elizabeth McGovern, Sophie McShera, Tuppence Middleton, Lesley Nicol, Maggie Smith, Imelda Staunton, Penelope Wilton, and new cast members Hugh Dancy, Laura Haddock, Nathalie Baye, Dominic West, Jonathan Zaccaï
Story: The original principal cast of Downton Abbey will all once again return for the second film. In addition to the original cast, Hugh Dancy, Laura Haddock, Nathalie Baye, Dominic West, and Jonathan Zaccaï will join the cast.
Only in Theaters March 18
[Photo Credit: Focus Features – Video Credit: Focus Features/YouTube]
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