Look at all these happy, wealthy and beautiful couples! Let’s judge them, kittens! Let’s judge the HELL out of them!
Elton John and David Furnish in Gucci
Elton’s rocket brooch is very cute and his wig fairly impressive. As a couple, they tend to favor Dolce & Gabbana, so we wonder if they’ve had enough of that brand’s nonsense. David’s jacket is amazing.
Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara in Dolce&Gabbana
It’s the same gown she’s been wearing for ten years. These two need a refresh badly.
Jesse Plemons and Kirsten Dunst (in Rodarte)
He looks good, although the jacket looks a weensy bit short on him. She continues to amaze us with her ability to work and wear the frilliest and silliest Rodarte’s and never come off like she’s indulging in a princess fantasy. All those frills, all that pink, and she never looks overwhelmed by it.
Lisa Bonet (in Fendi) and Jason Momoa (in Tom Ford)
Is he getting bigger?
His jacket’s great, but clearly too small on him, which is probably why he ditched it immediately and spent the night in a tank top, as God intended. Her gown is gorgeous, although we could have done without the trim at the hem.
Lucy Boynton (in Louis Vuitton) and Rami Malek (in Saint Laurent)
We loved her Victorian Robot Girl look although we think the platform shoes were a needle scratch. He looks fine. He doesn’t take risks anymore.
Nicole Kidman (in Versace) and Keith Urban
Simple, but impossible to argue with. She looks amazing. His oversized shoes continue to amuse. We assume he has baby feet or something, given the ridiculously large footwear he tends to sport.
Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres in Celine
Ellen’s fine. We’ve always hated the way her suits are cut, but that’s clearly her preference and at least she got a little glam for the occasion. Portia looks FLAMAZING.
Priyanka Chopra (in Cristina Ottaviano) and Nick Jonas (in Prada)
She looks gorgeous. He looks utterly, hilariously ridiculous.
Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks in Tom Ford
Aunt Rita and Uncle Tom never get it wrong.
Rose Leslie (in Elie Saab) and Kit Harington (in Saint Laurent)
That’s a stunning color on her but the whole dress would have been tremendously improved with a lining that went to the floor. Or at least to her knees. He’s looking good. Well rested.
Sacha Baron Cohen (in Dolce&Gabbana) and Isla Fisher (in Monique Lhuillier)
We’re all for color on the red carpet, but they look like a couple of crayons.
Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin in Dior
He’s still frequenting the Lady Clairol aisle, we see. Small scale florals on black backgrounds can look a little “folk costume,” a fate that her frock unfortunately did not escape.
[Photo Credit: Hahn Lionel/Abaca Usa/Instarimages.com, Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com, JENNIFER GRAYLOCK/INSTARimages.com]
Our book “Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life” comes out on March 3rd and was named one of the Best New Books of 2020 by Cosmopolitan!