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Friday Leftovers for the Week of December 2nd, 2018

Posted on December 07, 2018

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Our entire home and office looks like a bunch of drunken elves came in and threw up all over everything, which means we’ve got to do some cleaning and organizing and decorating post-haste. We don’t have time to give each of these lukewarm efforts our full loving attention and we’re betting you don’t either. Let’s get bitchy in a drive-by, assembly-line sort of way, darlings.

Ready, set, JUDGE.

 

 

Amanda Seyfried
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Low-key, but cute and well-coordinated.

Next.

 

 

Ariel Winter
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Eye-searing and a bit much in every respect, but it’s one of her more tasteful efforts.

Next.

 

 

Bebe Rexha
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Standard female popstar-ware, circa 1985-2025.

Next.

 

Claire Danes
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Counselor Troi goes to a funeral.

Next. Quickly, please.

 

 

Dakota Johnson in Givenchy Couture
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We get the impression there’s some sort of stunning metallic gown under there and she’s just waiting for the right moment to rip away the drop cloth she’s got covering it.

Keep moving, please.

 

 

Danai Gurira in Emilia Wickstead
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Love the hair, love the color, not feeling the shapes.

Next.

 

 

Felicity Jones in Rūh
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There’s nothing wrong with a HillarySuit, but the white pantsuit is so overdone at this point that it practically begs for a twist.

Step forward, please.

Gigi Hadid in Marc Jacobs
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Love it. It’s retro cheek-sucking high-fashion and she couldn’t be more perfect for it.

Let’s go, folks.

Halle Berry in Aadnevik
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Surprisingly frilly and feminine, coming from her. It’s not our favorite look, but we appreciate her effort to give it a twirl. It’s been a while since she decided to start aging backwards. What is she now, about 35 again?

Next.

 

 

January Jones and Jaime King
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Left Blonde is getting a little clowny with it, but that sort of thing always suited her. Right blonder is working a fairly ugly print- and since the dress is all about the print, it’s not working that well for her.

Please keep shuffling forward at a steady pace. Thank you.

 

 

Jennifer Aniston in Stella McCartney
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The sheer cuffs come off like a shocking development, given how expected the rest of it is.

Come on, people. We’ve still got a lot of you to get to and we’re not allowed to unlock the doors until we’re done. It’s the law.

 

 

Julianne Moore
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The dress really works for her, but we’re having a hard time with how much the earrings clash.

Thank you, please keep moving toward the light.

 

 

Kesha in Fabiana Milazzo
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It’s hideous fun. We mean that as a compliment.

Moving along…

 

 

Kim Chi
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WERQ, BITCH.

Next.

Lily Collins in Givenchy
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Cute. Could’ve been styled with a bit more pizzazz. Not feeling the ponytail or sandals.

Thank you for coming. Next.

 

 

Lucas Hedges
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Very cute. Yes, even the turtleneck. What can we say? He’s young.

That’s it, folks. Keep coming. We can see the end of the line from here.

 

Madelaine Petsch in Paule Ka
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That’s a pretty horrible color combination that she’s pulling off surprisingly well.

Next please. It’s almost over for you all.

 

 

Michaela Coel
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Love the print, love the shape, hate the neckline.

Next.

NEXT!

 

 

Michelle Rodriguez
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Mediocre Game of Thrones cosplay.

Thank you. Next please.

 

 

Natalie Portman in Dior
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A complicated nightgown in a terrible color.

Thank you. Please keep moving so others can be judged.

 

 

Olivia Colman in Victoria Beckham
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You deserve better than this surgical smock, dear.

We’re sorry. Thank you for waiting.

 

 

Tatiana Maslany
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You’re insane but we love you. For some reason, you insist on dressing either like a teenager in 1983 or an octogenarian today. It’s an aesthetic; we’ll give you that.

Please step forward.

Troye Sivan
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Hmm. We love him for being a little flamboyant in his choices, but the shape of that jacket is just too goofy.

THANK YOU ALL FOR WAITING SO PATIENTLY TO BE JUDGED. THERE ARE PRETZELS AND JUICE BOXES FOR YOU ON THE WAY OUT SINCE YOU ALL MUST BE FAIRLY HUNGRY BY NOW. PLEASE SHIELD YOUR EYES AS YOU ENTER THE SUNLIGHT.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]

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