The Royal Wedding: The Guests

Posted on April 29, 2011

Darlings, it was a parade of sensible coats and ridiculous hats. We couldn’t possibly comment on or display every outfit, but we’ll run down the notables.

Australian Olympian swimmer Ian Thorpe

The man looks good in a waistcoat, we have to say.

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall

Look, this is the best we can expect from her. She’s no fashionista. This is right within her wheelhouse. In fact, it reminds us of her own wedding dress from a couple of years ago. We don’t particularly like all the pleating at the bottom. The hat is appropriately ridiculous and will come in handy should they run out of chip-n-dip bowls at any of the after parties.

Crown Prince Willem Alexander and Princess Maxima of The Netherlands

She’s almost invisible in that color.

David Beckham and Victoria Beckham

Ah, there we go. Bringing some fierceness to the proceedings. We look forward to her line of footwear for pregnant women. She’s really showing some good instincts there. We’re thinking she’ll have women in their third trimesters the world over tottering 8 inches off the ground by next year. Save your pennies, mommies-to-be!

He looks adorable. Her hat looks a bit like it was made out of random items lying around Phillip Treacy’s work room.

Former British Prime Minister John Major and Norma Major
Frances Osborne, wife of the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne
Guy Ritchie

He looks like he’s melting into his shoes. It’s a fricking royal wedding, Guy. Hire a tailor.

Henri, Grand Duke of Luxembourg and Maria Teresa,
Grand Duchess of Luxembourg
Lady Helen Taylor and Mr Timothy Taylor

We don’t know who she is, but we dig her style. Love the embroidery at the bottom of the coat.

Carole Middleton

She looks lovely. The Middleton clan came off well on a day that had to have been insanely nerve-wracking for them. That’s a great color on her.

Prince Albert II of Monaco and Miss Charlene Wittstock

Oooh, Charlene, honey. We know there are rules, but that outfit is really aging.

Prince and Princess Michael of Kent


Prince Phillip, Carole Middleton, Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II
and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall

Betty looked adorable. Like Winnie the Pooh in a dress.

Princess Anne, The Princess Royal

Bringing some much-needed print to the proceedings. Nicely done, PA.

Princess Beatrice of York
Princess Eugenie of York and Princess Beatrice of York

We so want to party with these crazy bitches. They’re like Pats and Eddy, The Next Generation. Love Bea’s coat.

Princess Victoria of Sweden and Prince Daniel of Sweden

It’s a shame. It does great things for her figure but then it forms a little pooch right below her stomach. We’re also not crazy about the color on her.

He’s quite handsome, isn’t he? Looks a little like Guy Pearce.

Queen Margrethe II of Denmark

Gorgeous coat.

Queen Sofia of Spain, Prince Felipe of Asturias and Princess Letizia of Asturias
Samantha Cameron, wife of Prime Minister David Cameron

Love the orange and teal combo.


Elton John and Partner David Furnish

Wholesome, respectable gays.

Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow with his wife Sally Bercow
Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

“That’s right, bitches. I BROUGHT IT.”

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]


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