We are perfectly content to declare our ignorance regarding a good deal of the cultural references and at least some of the humor on Drag Race Holland. We’d be foolish not to, of course. When certain jokes or challenges don’t land for us, we have to start with the assumption that it’s not necessarily an issue with the show. With that in mind, we can say (with full confidence that it might reveal our own lack of understanding) that the results of this week’s challenges didn’t come off particularly entertaining to us.
The puppet mini-challenge is a Drag Race mainstay that gives the queens a chance to read each other with perhaps a bit more bite than the average Library session. It’s honestly hard to tell if any of the dolls managed to get a good joke off, not just because of the language barrier and some suspect subtitling, but because Fred, God bless him, tends to laugh uproariously at just about anything.
When it came to the Queen Maxima-themed Ru-sical, we can say that we didn’t really get many of the references or jokes (many of which came off really mean to us), but that’s to be expected, we think. What really matters is that the actual songs weren’t that great and it sure looks to us like the choreography was dumbed-down as much as possible. The rehearsals looked a lot more complicated than the moves we got in the end.
It seems to us that Abby OMG and Envy came off the most committed to their bits, with the highest energy on stage. Nobody was terrible, but they tended to stand out more than Janey and Ma’MaQueen. Not that it matters all that much, because as per the usual, most of the judging commentary surrounded their runway looks, of which there were many this week.
The category for the runway is a patriotic-themed red, white and blue, with the girls modeling swimwear, cocktail and evening wear looks. The swimwear looks were a little under-impressive. Abby relied on her body and Ma’Ma sported an unfortunate pair of hose. Janey and Envy did the best with the swimwear but neither of them served anything we’d call drop-dead. For the cocktail dress portion, Envy chose a Jetsons-inspired look that seemed to confuse the judges, Ma’Ma sported her usual stunning face paired with a shockingly dowdy white dress, Abby relied on her body again by doing a sexy stewardess, and Janey nailed it with a Mariah Carey-inspired bandage dress.
For the evening gown portion, Envy stuck to her futuristic theme, punctuating the look with killer red boots worn to the hip and a perfectly beat face. Ma’MaQueen sports the best facework of the remaining queens, but several of her costumes this week, including this one, were more awkward than fabulous. The bodice is gorgeous but the skirt and pants underneath looked flimsy and cheap.
Abby sports the same face in all of her looks and this was the episode where we kind of hit the wall on her. She’s not on the same level as the remaining queens and her drag is all body-based. Janey never seems to take her makeup as far as it should go, relying a bit too much on the prettiness of her bone structure. The result is that, even though she’s arguably the prettiest girl in the group, her looks often come off dowdy and understated. They both need a Ru to yell at them and tell them to step their respective pussies up.
Our hearts dropped during that lip sync. We can’t argue with the choice to put Ma’Ma against Abby and we were fairly hopeful that, Abby’s record at slaying the lip sync aside, Ma’Ma might prevail. Unfortunately, it turned out that she’s not very good at lip-syncing at all and ended the number on the most awkward split we’ve ever seen.
We suppose it could be argued that shenanigans were afoot in the decision to keep both queens, but let’s face it: this surprise twist is built into pretty much every season of the show now. Despite her bad lip sync, Ma’Ma is clearly a superior queen to Abby’s rather one-note drag, so it’s to the show’s credit that they simply let her slide her way into the finale.
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