Darlings, our cups of leftover red carpetry overfloweth this week, leaving us all with much to discuss before we’re allowed to leave. So sit your ass down, roll your sleeves up, and help us get these stars good and judged, will you?
Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton
Everything about this is ridiculous and she absolutely knows it.
Andrew Garfield in Gucci
Extreme levels of dullness.
Bebe Rexha in Michael Costello
Yikes. Why is the neckline so crooked? What’s going on with her shoulders?
Bianca del Rio and Katya Zamolodchikova
Hello, girls. Could to see you. We’d say your dresses are kind of terrible but it’s always a bad idea to use red carpet criteria to talk about drag looks. Bianca’s wig is giving us a sympathy headache. We can’t imagine trying to keep that thing upright for hours at a time.
Billy Porter
We love the idea of the organza coat more than we love the actual coat. We think the color and accompanying items aren’t doing it justice.
Cynthia Nixon
Love that it almost feels like a take on a U.S. flag, but it’s more interpreted and unexpected.
Danai Gurira in Brock Collection
Jesus lady, whut?
Jane Fonda
She looks great. She’s eased up a bit on all the maneuvering and fakery that characterized her red carpet approach for a few years there. Nothing wrong with a lady deploying a few pulleys and levers to get herself to look a certain way, but Jane’s red carpet looks were actually starting to come off a bit painful and not worth the effort. And by all of these euphemisms, we mean specifically wigs, facial tape, and some seriously restrictive shapewear. She looks so much better without them.
Jeff Goldblum
We honestly have no idea how he does it. Anyone else would look like an asshole.
Jennifer Garner in Lanvin
Great color (if a bit stale); terrible dress.
Kelly Ripa
We like the dress but the shoes are horrible.
Leslie Jones
LOVE.
Letitia Wright in Pyer Moss
The jacket and dress have absolutely nothing to do with each other and don’t belong together.
Mahershala Ali
It’s a little too snug, but it’s stylish as hell.
Retta
Oh girl, no. While we’re not entirely opposed to the color story for you, the style is absolutely terrible and the finishing looks pretty amateur.
Shangela Laquifa Wadley
He looks adorable.
Taylor Schilling in Adeam
An outfit like this one always makes us wonder if the wearer has some sort of sight issue where she can’t see colors unless they’re so oversaturated they almost hurt to look at. That is a horrible shade of yellow, but that’s almost beside the point. The shoes and dress are just plain ugly.
Zazie Beetz
Casper’s cousin Zazie, the Depressed Ghost.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]
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Ezra Miller as a Bunny for Playboy Magazine
