Selena Gomez in Topshop in North Hollywood

Posted on August 04, 2014

Sometimes you look at something the youngsters are wearing and you think, “Am I just too old to get this?” Not that anything here is difficult to comprehend:

 

Selena-Gomez-GOTS-Topshop-Coach-BCBG-Max-Azria-GOTS-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Selena Gomez meets up with friends at Eclectic Wine Bar & Grille in North Hollywood, California in a Topshop floral print silk shift dress paired with BCBG Max Azria mesh booties and a Coach bag.

Selena-Gomez-GOTS-Topshop-Coach-BCBG-Max-Azria-GOTS-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Topshop Floral Print Silk Shift Dress | Coach The Mini Borough Bag | BCBG Max Azria Gamma Mesh Booties

Selena-Gomez-GOTS-Topshop-Coach-BCBG-Max-Azria-GOTS-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Selena-Gomez-GOTS-Topshop-Coach-BCBG-Max-Azria-GOTS-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

But to our eyes, the silhouette of that dress is horrible and unflattering. But we’d just bet some under-21 is reading our harrumphs right now and thinking, “These queens think every dress has to be skin tight. GOD.” But we don’t, imaginary youth! We swear it! We’re all for loose and flowy dresses. But that waist is situated so low that it elongates her torso way out of proportion. And truth be told, it gives her the illusion of an ever-so-slight belly bump. And if that wasn’t bad enough, it shrinks her bust and narrows her shoulders. And that is not a sleeve length any gal under 70 should be thinking about. In short, it’s fug.

Call us old if you must, youth of America, but you mark our words, in two decades’ time you’ll be looking back and kicking yourself for your normcore and your grandma chic and your ugly hipsterism. “Dammit,” you’ll collectively say as one, “Why didn’t I show my ass off back when it was hot?”

Not that Selena Gomez has ever shied away from showing off the goods when she wanted to. We’re all for her taking a vacation from body-con getups, but this shapeless thrift store look isn’t doing anything for her.

Do you all hate us for kind of liking the sheer booties?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Dunkin D/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, avenuek.com, nordstrom.com, shopbop.com, coach.com]

    • RussellH88

      That is one dingy shade of grey. She should have chosen one of the other 49.

      • Judy_J

        Best comment I’ve read all day.

    • KateShouldBeWorking

      Girl, you are no Kiera Knightly.

    • Glam Dixie

      Someone is having a bloated, fuck it all day. Only explanation for that ugly, shapeless sack and no bra.

    • Grumpy Girl

      Her hair looks amazingly bad, and why is she walking around with a toothpick in her mouth?

      • Glam Dixie

        My dad used to do that when he was quitting smoking so that’s all I can think about when I see it.

      • largishbearishAtlish

        Looks like a mop turned upside down….hmmm…assistant should be shot…

      • Sarah

        All I can see is that toothpick. Bring some floss into the bathroom and clean your teeth in private, Selena. FFS, why is that not common sense? (If she’s quitting smoking, Nicorette gum or regular gum is far more classy.)

      • Mary Sinning Poole

        It’s been extremely humid here in LA. Far more than the locals can deal with. Everyone’s hair looks like that right now.

      • brown-eyed girl

        Kept peering at her lips to make sure it was a toothpick and not a piercing of some kind. I shake my head.

    • Leah Elzinga

      they’re a little too precious, but I am LIVING for those waves, though! Yay! texture in hair! And yes. Those booties inspire hatred. Uncles, please don’t drink the “sheer shoes” koolaid. There’s no coming back from that.

    • geans

      The hair is the worst part for me…who am I thinking of? Slash? No, but some 90s rocker.

      • RescueMe23

        Yes – Slash from Guns & Roses…all she needs is a top hat and an electric guitar.

      • Sarah

        I don’t hate the hair – it’s fine to have texture, if’n you ask me – but the middle part is not good. A side part would look better.

        • geans

          Texture really isn’t the problem here. Middle parts irk.

        • demidaemon

          Something needed to be done, surely. I can’t figure out what is wrong with it exactly, but it reads very much like a bad drag wig right now.

        • Chuck Presby

          I am making my first comment to solve the mystery of what’s wrong with this hair: someone gelled it down on the top of her head. Every curly person knows that the crown of the head is the most important place to encourage volume so you get bouncy, young, wavy hair and not crusty-ex-rockstar hair (or simulated hat hair).

          • livesarah

            So obvious now that you point it out, thanks!

          • Sarah

            You are right. I encourage the fluff atop my own head for that very reason.

      • StillGary

        I saw Weird Al.

      • spirit52

        slash??? hahahahahaa!

    • MarissaLG

      The dress isn’t great, but it’s not that bad. It would be a lot cuter if the waist wasn’t so low. The hair and the shoes are the real outfit ruiners here.

    • anotherkate

      Get that toothpick out of your mouth, young lady.

      Also, remove everything you’re wearing except the bag and start over.

    • hughman

      It’s all kind of C-List. I mean, her people aren’t calling in Taylor Swift levels of shit for her to feature, are they?

    • Sarah

      I do not hate you. I love you, especially because of the excellent explanation for WHY that dress BLOWS. But, I personally find it VERY difficult to comprehend those mesh booties. As in: I see them, and I hate them, and I don’t think they go, and I want them to vanish in a puff of smoke.

      • demidaemon

        Agreed on the booties. I called them porn booties.

    • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

      Why the Howard Stern hair, honey?

    • Anna

      I think I’ll take these old bed sheets over the ass shorts I had the misfortune of seeing her in the other day.

    • sutton

      Is crimping one’s hair coming back in style? It did not look good on me when I was 8 I doubt it will now either.

    • Rhonda Shore

      The biggest problem here is her lipstick color. Ugh. Dress doesn’t suck, but that seam is situated oddly. The booties are cute.

    • kipper

      Wait … HOW DID YOU MAKE IT PAST THE TOOTHPICK ????

      • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

        That was my first thought. How un-classy!! Why an assistant wouldn’t have yanked that thing right out of her mouth is completely beyond me. Oh, and the shoes are ugly–but when that is the SECOND thing you notice, there’s clearly a problem.

      • kimmeister

        In the first shot, I actually thought it was a lip piercing!

      • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

        Omg, I was convinced it was a lip ring. THAT would have been unconventional for a starlet.

      • Loola234

        Are we sure it’s not a mini tootsie pop?

      • Darren Nesbitt

        You guys! She is Celeb-normcore-hipster today. Look at the things around her: “We’re just regular rich kids with spiked phone cases, backwards hats and toothpicks.” lol

        • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

          ‘Normcore” is new to me. Explain, please.

    • Drunken Housewife

      That silhouette is classic… for a small child. I don’t know how many Hanna Andersson dresses I bought for my daughters with that precise silhouette (but made in sturdy cotton!). It’s sort of a Lolita thing, I think; maybe like in the 90’s when we wore babydoll dresses and combat boots. Except less fierce, because we looked like Lolitas who could kick your ass, whereas you aren’t kicking anyone’s ass in high-heeled mesh booties.

    • El Silver Fox

      I think it could have been okay if she’d worn her hair up.

    • KendraMR

      Six more inches and that’s a house coat for a 70-something-year-old woman. Cute bag and booties, and I’m digging the hair.

    • Chartreusite

      As a youngin’ in the Selena Gomez generation (or adjacent to the Gomez generation), I do kind of see the appeal in this but I do agree proportionally it could use some work. I think if the skirt wasn’t so short it would balance out more, and maybe make the sleeves a little more fitted or shorter (or chop them off entirely). It probably could be taken in a little bit around the waist t-

      Okay never mind you’re right this doesn’t work.

    • boweryboy

      I like it. It’s the first time I’ve seen her dress her age. Usually she looks like a 12 year old playing dress-up in her mother’s closet. This actually looks cute on her. On the otherhand those shoes are all kinds of wrong for this look, not to mention butt ugly.

    • Lori

      Of course I don’t hate you for kind of loving those booties. I just don’t understand you. I have no objections to the purse, but the rest of this is just bad, including those booties.

    • MilaXX

      I dunno, I kinda like the whole outfit. I can’t argue that dress isn’t shapeless, but I just don’t hate it.

    • jilly_d

      This pattern belongs on a dining room wall, not a cute young thing. Also, fix your hair, girl. Shit is broke.

    • jen

      I don’t get a lot of the floaty, unflattering Dorothy Szbornak type shit that’s in fashion now.

      • Kitten Mittons

        Agreed, but more importantly, is that Al Swearengen I spy in your avatar? If so, I’ll declare my love for you, but with a lot of cursing.

        • jen

          Ha ha, it sure fucking is! ;)

          • Kitten Mittons

            Fuckin’ A.

            • Glam Dixie

              I fuckin’ miss that show.

            • jen

              Me too! :(

            • Kitten Mittons

              “I’m a purveyor of spirits, Cy, dope fuckin’ included, and when chance affords, a thief, but I ain’t no fuckin’ hypocrite.”

            • jen

              I love your name and avatar as well btw. I love me some Charlie Kelly.

            • smayper

              Mother FUCKER.

            • jen

              Ha ha!

            • Kitten Mittons

              Why, thank you very much.

            • StillGary

              Get a room! LOL, what show are you discussing?

            • Glam Dixie

              Deadwood

    • Aidan B

      A skinny little belt around the waist could have helped this look tremendously. However, there is no saving those “shoes” which I suggest be tossed into the nearest garbage can she passes.

    • Lisalady161

      Someone as tiny as her should not be wearing drop-waist dresses that make your legs look shorter, 5″ sheer booties or no. Heck, some of the stuff in her KMart line look better made than that dress.

      • StillGary

        The Urchin Line!

    • LeelaST

      Love the dress as is but not the sleevelength. Hate everything else including hair, shoes, bag, sunglasses. And what is in her mouth? Toothpick? Is her lip pierced? Or is it a photo artifact?

    • titaness25

      I am relatively young. That dress is terrible. My dearly beloved and departed grandmother had a floor length dress in that fabric, with the waist at that level- based on her solid decade and a half of pregnancies.
      And the shoes are ugly.

    • Boulderista

      Like the uncles, I’m kind of liking the booties … I kind of like the dress too as it looks cool and breezy. Sure it could be tailored differently but it isn’t and I can live with that. It’s not twee, it’s not sheer and it’s not a romper so she’d get an IN from me if this was an that sort of post.

    • Ellen R.

      That is some Weird Al hair.

      • StillGary

        YAY, I’m not alone!

    • jonnyf8

      I really like it. I think the best part is the toothpick. It’s a lot of attitude.

    • SewingSiren

      It’s August and shapeless shifts are good.

    • another_laura

      That is an ugly dress and it’s not even very well put together. Go home and change! The bag looks cute.

    • World of Sass

      I like the dress, actually, but those shoes? LOLOLOLOLOL

    • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

      You guys are correct about the ill-fitting proportions of that dress.

    • clevRcat

      I was young, slender and cute during the “Espirit” era when all garments — tops, bottoms, pants, skirts, dresses — were perfectly square. Terribly, horribly, unfortunately “bulk-ifying” and unflattering. There are many photos of me in my early twenties wearing these things and grinning as though I thought I looked pretty sharp. Sigh. Don’t do it, kids!

      • ryenerman

        Me too, me too. F You 1980s! I covered myself in gigantic, square and/or puffy bullshit when I had the body to wear tight, short clothing. I regret it all.

      • Sam Smith

        Right there with you sister. Nothing was properly fitted in the 1980s and the beginning of the 1990s were pretty bad too. Why, when I was slender thing did I dress in ill fitting, boxy attire. I want a do over!

        • butterflysunita

          Oh, but we did have some figure flattering items of clothing in the 80’s. Remember Guess jeans with the tight zippered ankles?

    • TheDivineMissAnn

      I can’t get past the toothpick in her mouth.

      • Peri7473

        i thought so too, but then i thought, lollipop. that makes more sense.

        • TheDivineMissAnn

          Good point. I didn’t even think of that.

    • http://www.readbarbara.com/ ReadBarbara

      The construction of that dress looks like something one might put together on the fourth day of sewing class to which one has arrived slightly tipsy.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Mess.

    • stellavision

      Mesh booties are just one of those things I am never going to understand, sort of like short-sleeved sweaters (the ones that aren’t open-knit, anyway). If it’s cool enough to wear booties, it’s cool enough not to be wearing mesh…right?

    • crash1212

      Sheer booties are the devil’s handiwork. I love her hair. I love that she has an f-ing toothpick hanging out of her mouth. The dress is fug.

    • Freynika

      No, TLo, you are crazy. The booties are hideous. They look like orthopedic t-straps for an aging model.

    • elemspbee

      Thats an ugly dress. Period. That print and color sure are fugly.

    • smayper

      I really like the print and fabric. And I love the idea of a short shift dress made out of it. Uncluttered, cool, fun, and pretty. I like the orange with her coloring. So if I just read a description of this, I’d say hurrah! It’s just the execution that’s not working.

    • SayWhaaatNow

      That is Weird Al in a dress.

    • alyce1213

      I kind of like the dress. The sheer booties are what’s horrible, unspeakable.

    • cocohall

      She’s too short for this silhouette. Tay Tay might actually be able to get away with this. As if the problems with this look were just about the sizing. Even on a taller girl, the sleeves would still be matronly and the print better deployed on a duvet cover. I think the booties want to paired with some Pucci mini dress/sheath. I love curly hair, but I had some involuntary Cousin It flashbacks when I first glanced at the photos. The toothpick is baffling. This look is making me miss “the bored nymphomaniac housewife waiting for the UPS man to stop by” looks she was wearing a few weeks back. Those looks at least had a point of view: I’m a VERY sexual being. This is more along the lines of “I ran out of my meds, but decided to go out anyway” vibe.

      • DuBey2

        This: The toothpick is baffling

      • demidaemon

        In theory, I can see Taylor wearing this, but it’d probably be awful short on her, no?

    • Tina M.

      Well, for what it’s worth I am two months younger than Selena Gomez and I agree this whole look is horrible. This might just be because I have very wide shoulders, but any loose dress with sleeves that long and I can’t lift my arms without the dress riding up to my belly button. Nice to see some texture in her “hair” but without zuzhing it a little it looks very wiggy. The bag is cute though.

    • Tracy_Flick

      The combination of elongated torso, giant hair, and sunglasses shape makes her head look shrunken. Weird.

    • Tee

      I could never hate you for liking the sheer booties, but I don’t like you right now for liking them. Let’s just agree to disagree and meet up later for drinks ‘kay?

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      Her pal with the vast handbag got a much cuter outfit, from what we can see. It may even be a romper and it is still cuter, with the brighter print and the waistline.

      And mesh boots? The mercurial T.Lo taste never fails to surprise and intrigue.

      • demidaemon

        I think it is a pretty bad sign when a romper is considered cuter than anything.

    • ireneY

      Looks like a 12 year-old playing dress-up with grandma’s cut up frock.

    • StillGary

      swear to God, I thought she was Weird AL from the first waste up shot.

    • MyFavoriteColorIsGlitter

      The sheer booties are in fact actually pretty badass. Dress is hiddy.

    • susan6

      Your hair is awesome. Hand that schmatta back to your grandmother. Get that thing out of your mouth.

    • DuBey2

      Love the bag & booties.

    • mom2ab

      I made that ugly dress in home ec in 1976. Booties are whatever- but the toothpick hanging out of her mouth- so repulsive- I just can’t.

    • KT

      Yes, I do hate you for kind of liking those sheer booties. Ew.

    • Alexa42

      This was probably taken on the “WTF It’s Humid?!?!” Day we had this weekend in the San Fernando Valley and Selena, like the rest of us, couldn’t stand to have anything touching her torso. Hence the homage to Gunne Sax.

    • demidaemon

      Since I think everything going on here is wrong, yes, I do hate you for liking the porn booties.

    • CKMia

      Man, I miss Guns N Roses.

    • Sophie

      Is that seam on her left side more oblique than on the model? It looks rather strange. Hate the boots.

    • sk8tfan

      My first thought was “I must not be well, I like the see through boots”. But if my beloved pretend gay uncles thought so, then my sanity is restored. But why is she wearing my old dishrag?

    • evave2

      I would not call that a waist, I thought of it as a division for a long hem or something. A waist can’t be below the hips, can it? I don’t know what to call the last 8 to 12 inches of the dress. BUT I can say I think it looks weird and I don’t like it.

      Lastly, the SHOES. Is that plastic around the architecture of the shoe? Because it looks like plastic and all I thought about was how much her feet would sweat if it IS plastic.

      • bringbackbeatles

        The material the shoe is made with is mesh, so she should be getting air through it.

    • Beto

      What’s with the toothpick? IMHO that’s gross.

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Everyday on the subway I have an opportunity to think “Am I just too old to get this?” That is one sad sack of a dress and it’s doing nothing for her. I don’t even like the print. The boots I would have to see with something else.

    • frannyprof

      See… I hate the boots but love the dress. What the hell is in her mouth?

    • spirit52

      Excuse me, is she chewing on a toothpick in public???? how tacky…just like her shapeless outfit

    • Coolekat

      Am I seeing things or is she walking down the street with a toothpick in her mouth?

    • Laylalola

      It takes a lot of work for a short dress to manage to look dumpy on Selena Gomez.

    • quiltrx

      I don’t hate you, but those booties give me hives.
      And are we not going to talk about that frigging TOOTHPICK???

    • GemFemme

      It’s a dress that would make even a 2 year old say “oh hell no mommy!”

    • snarkykitten

      barrrfffff

    • somebody blonde

      I’m 23. I agree that it’s fug. I would be willing to get with the sheer booties program if they didn’t involve peep-toes, because peep-toe booties are also fugly.

    • missysue

      Is that a toothpick in her mouth? EW.

    • Pterodactyl111

      The booties are the worst part of it.

    • NinjaCate

      I’m a young’un. I am in complete agreement. This is a granny dress. No.

    • Don Hackett

      get that thing out of your mouth, whatever it is…

    • Jeremy Thomas Porta

      I thought it was Weird Al Yankovich from the thumbnail.

    • BayTampaBay

      I have the booties in brighter pink!

    • ms_kat

      I misread the headline and thought, “There’s a topshop in north hollywood? That seems shocking. I should look for it on my way to work tomorrow.” Now I get it. Ugly dress. Uglier shoes.

    • Mars Tokyo

      Why the toothpick in her mouth? picking her teeth much?

    • TheLaurenJean

      I think if she was standing up straight, it might look a whole lot better. As she is, walking down the street? Not so much.

    • Qitkat

      She has a lip piercing, A DAMN LIP PIERCING? It looks like a snaggle tooth. Erp. Added, if that is a toothpick, you are not a redneck cowboy, that’s just ugly and crass.
      Uhh, sorry, the dress, it’s cute enough, I like the drop waist style, but not the actual fabric pattern so much. Booties are cute for young feet.

    • Dino Bonačić

      Hate everything BUT the dress. It’s easy-to-wear, chic and very fun. Plus the hair can stay. Everything else says bad style instincts and TA-CKY!!

    • snarkykitten

      for a sec, I thought this was Weird Al…

    • Imasewsure

      Hate the boots (because I am old) but I kind of dig the dress… if she had Doc Martens on – or fancy flip flops I would love it head to toe (but then again I like frumpy hippy fashion quite a bit)

    • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com cheekypinky

      Everything here is a big pile of NOPE.

    • mickiemonkey

      Mesh, nude, peep toe booties?! A thousand times NO.

    • PinkyK

      I had a dress that shape in the early 90s. It was my “I feel fat but have to dress up” dress. I wouldn’t go anyplace else but my cube. Oh my print was better and the sleeves were better. This is just awful!

      And what’s up with the hair!?!

    • Mothra

      It looks like a maternity dress and she’s chewing on a toothpick, while walking. Nothing about this says anything good. She looks like a crabby old lady from the nursing home down the street.

      • deech_sea

        “She looks like a crabby old lady from the nursing home down the street.” Yes!

    • deech_sea

      Wow! The model looks so fresh, sweet, and clean. What does Selena have hanging out of her mouth?

      • Clash D

        A toothpick? Klassy.

    • Clash D

      Shoes and bag look like they’d be great on Diane Kruger. Minus the dress of course.

      • Clash D

        I take that back, Diane Kruger would rock that dress. Minus the shoes and bag.
        My point is imo, they (shoe/bag) don’t go with that dress. And none of them go with Ms Gomez here.