Sarah Jessica Parker Style Double Shot

Posted on March 10, 2014

It’s time to say it, loud and proud:

 

 

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Dolce-Gabbana-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO (1)Sarah Jessica Parker presents The SJP Collection in Salon Shoes at Nordstrom in The Grove in Los Angeles, California in a Dolce&Gabbana dress paired with a Wolford bodysuit, a House of Lavande necklace, a Pearl Paradise ring, and SJP Collection pumps.

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This lady is a FASHION VICTIM.

Seriously, she’s like a much thinner Edina Monsoon. You need to stop, Sarah Jessica. We love you and we’re telling you: you need to STOP. We’re gonna do you a solid and explain what you’re doing wrong in the simplest way possible. You ready? Here it is: You need to stop looking to fashionistas and fashion editors for your style choices. This is all way too “New York fashion world” for a red carpet. You’ll see hundreds of ladies dressed like SJP during New York Fashion Week. And plenty of them look fabulous – in that setting. But the front row of fashion week is not the same thing as a red carpet or public appearance by a celebrity. These clothes might look okay on her in the right setting (although we strongly doubt it) but it doesn’t matter because they photograph horribly.

And we’re just gonna say it: You are WAY TOO OLD for the “broken doll” style of posing for pictures, SJ. Harsh? Maybe. But you’re a highly successful mature woman who insists on standing like a five-year-old in pictures. We’re feeling the need for harshness.  Chin up, tits out, toes forward.

Of course, this being a promotional tour for a product (in a more literal sense than the average celebrity public appearance), we suspect there’s something of an “animal in a zoo” quality to these clothes. As if she’s dressing as fucked-up Carrie Bradshaw as possible because that’s what the public is going to come out to see.

Like so:

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Saint-Laurent-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Sarah Jessica Parker launches shoe line at Nordstrom Aventura Mall in Aventura, Florida in a Saint Laurent dress paired with a Wolford bodysuit, a House of Lavande vintage necklace, Pearl Paradise rings, and SJP Collection sandals.

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She looks frikking ridiculous but that is one happy, cosmo-swilling crowd of Carries, Mirandas and Charlottes and she’s giving them exactly what they expect.

 

 

 

 
[Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images, Michele Eve Sandberg/INFphoto.com]

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