Sarah Jessica Parker Style Double Shot

Posted on March 10, 2014

It’s time to say it, loud and proud:

 

 

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Dolce-Gabbana-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO (1)Sarah Jessica Parker presents The SJP Collection in Salon Shoes at Nordstrom in The Grove in Los Angeles, California in a Dolce&Gabbana dress paired with a Wolford bodysuit, a House of Lavande necklace, a Pearl Paradise ring, and SJP Collection pumps.

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Dolce-Gabbana-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO (2)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Dolce-Gabbana-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO (3)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Dolce-Gabbana-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO (4)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Dolce-Gabbana-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-TLO (5)

This lady is a FASHION VICTIM.

Seriously, she’s like a much thinner Edina Monsoon. You need to stop, Sarah Jessica. We love you and we’re telling you: you need to STOP. We’re gonna do you a solid and explain what you’re doing wrong in the simplest way possible. You ready? Here it is: You need to stop looking to fashionistas and fashion editors for your style choices. This is all way too “New York fashion world” for a red carpet. You’ll see hundreds of ladies dressed like SJP during New York Fashion Week. And plenty of them look fabulous – in that setting. But the front row of fashion week is not the same thing as a red carpet or public appearance by a celebrity. These clothes might look okay on her in the right setting (although we strongly doubt it) but it doesn’t matter because they photograph horribly.

And we’re just gonna say it: You are WAY TOO OLD for the “broken doll” style of posing for pictures, SJ. Harsh? Maybe. But you’re a highly successful mature woman who insists on standing like a five-year-old in pictures. We’re feeling the need for harshness.  Chin up, tits out, toes forward.

Of course, this being a promotional tour for a product (in a more literal sense than the average celebrity public appearance), we suspect there’s something of an “animal in a zoo” quality to these clothes. As if she’s dressing as fucked-up Carrie Bradshaw as possible because that’s what the public is going to come out to see.

Like so:

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Saint-Laurent-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Sarah Jessica Parker launches shoe line at Nordstrom Aventura Mall in Aventura, Florida in a Saint Laurent dress paired with a Wolford bodysuit, a House of Lavande vintage necklace, Pearl Paradise rings, and SJP Collection sandals.

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Saint-Laurent-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Saint-Laurent-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Saint-Laurent-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Sarah-Jessica-Parker-Saint-Laurent-Nordstrom-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

She looks frikking ridiculous but that is one happy, cosmo-swilling crowd of Carries, Mirandas and Charlottes and she’s giving them exactly what they expect.

 

 

 

 
[Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images, Michele Eve Sandberg/INFphoto.com]

    • Zeee

      What’s up with those stirrup things? Help me…

      • Kathy_Marlow

        I nearly fainted at the sight….stirrup hose/tights…NO, just NO

        • anneland

          On a 19-year-old it might be cute. Girl, you are FAR from 19.

      • decormaven

        They remind me of dancer’s tights. Is she headed to do a matinee in the chorus line? What??

        • Lisa_Co

          That’s what they have to be IMHO. Horrible.

      • sojourneryouth

        I think we are going to eventually recycle every single bad eighties idea. Next up: ACID WASH!

        • Zeee

          In my eyes…

        • ampg

          What’s the saying? “If you’re old enough to have worn it the first time it was in style, you’re too old to wear it when it’s retro.”

      • A Shiny O’Connor

        Maybe she was having a bad ankles day at the same time as a really good tops of feet day.

    • Anna

      GOOD GOD, NO. That’s all I got. It’s Monday, the spring forward always makes me feel jet-lagged and the more I look at those stirrup-stockings worn OVER the heels, the more violent my mood becomes.

    • kt

      I’ve said it before and will say it again. Grey Gardens

      • littlemac8

        In what universe does she look in the mirror and think, “I look fabulous! I’ll blow those bitches away.” I think she’s looking pathetic. That would be my worst fear: to be an aging star looking desperate and inappropriate so that people talk behind my back and feel sorry for me.

        • kt

          I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that she doesn’t care. I sincerely doubt she thinks she looks fabulous, she’s always had her own take on fashion and though the media tries awfully hard to make her a sartorial star, she has never been “stylish or fashionable”

    • TRSTL

      Marketing to your target audience. Brillant? perhaps…. Tragically unattractive? yes……..

      • Dam_Angel

        Does she really think this attire will help promote her new shoe line? She is a mess! Who will want to emulate this?

        • TRSTL

          Women still clinging to SATC as their style go to manual. They WANT her to be Carrie and they WANT Carrie’s shoes……… my guess is even Pat Fields is rolling her eyes by now and say, “Girl, ENOUGH!”…….. And, I am a HUGE SATC (series) fan as well as a long, long time SJP fan. This venture into “Shoe maven designer” is a hot mess…..

          • poggi

            But are those women able and willing to shell out $200-300 for shoes to emulate Carrie? If they can go that far, they might as well go all in and pony up for some Manolo’s.

            • TRSTL

              A lot of them will, yes. And even more will when they inevitably end up at Marshalls and DSW in 6 – 8 months………..

    • barbarienne

      Holy crap, NO.

      In the first look, I didn’t get past the hair. It really didn’t matter what she was wearing with it, unless it was a skin-tight silver leather space suit to go with that 1950s pulp-SF magazine cover hair.

      In the second look, all I could think was STIRRUPS WITH STRAPPY SHOES? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING YOU GO HOME AND CHANGE RIGHT NOW, MISSY. And while you’re at it, choose a shirt or a dress, not both.

    • Missy

      The first ensemble…okay. But the second? No. No. It’s like Oktoberfest lite. Or hipster Oktoberfest. Either way, I sort of want a side of fried bread.

      • 3boysful

        Ha! That getup doe look incomplete without a couple of steins in each hand, no?

    • TrixieConQueso

      What has been seen cannot be UNSEEN. OMG-GURL! You PAID someone to do that hair and makeup in the first shot? Epically BAD.

      • poggi

        Yes and YES. I am not sure precisely when someone ages out of that hairstyle, but you should not be looking at 40 in the rear-view.

    • 3boysful

      Sadly, I think there comes a time when the contrast between a ridiculously twee outfit and a mature face makes the mature face appear more mature than it really is.
      (Trying to say it nicely, SJP.)

      • Carleenml

        and she looks really unhappy too, doesn’t she?

        • Farthingale

          I don’t think SJP is even IN there anymore. She just sent out the Aging Carrie Bradshaw Sim.

      • sojourneryouth

        No matter what your age, why wear a light spring/summer dress over thick tights and a long-sleeved shirt? There are so many beautiful cold-weather dresses available that she didn’t need to go there. It’s silly.

        • poggi

          I know. I do that for my kid so we can get maybe a year out of her clothes before they are too small. I am guessing that is not SJP’s rationale.

      • vitaminC

        “You want to be taken seriously? Stop dressing like a little girl.”
        – Joan Holloway

    • http://www.bertkeeter.com Bert Keeter

      YAWN!

    • @Biting Panda

      Stirrups? Fuck no.

      Both dresses are too juvenile.

      • Ginger

        I should’ve read yours before posting. Great minds and all…

      • gabbilevy

        Stirrups… WITH SANDALS. I fainted dead away.

    • Capt. Renault

      The latest recipient of the Helena Bonham Carter Prize for Hairstyling.

      • Julie Ree

        At least HBC is entertaining not sad

      • luludexter

        SJP could take some lessons from HBC if she really wants to be quirky – that lady has British eccentricity down pat — but at least it’s a consistent look, based in British designers, and it’s all of a piece aesthetically and, last week’s hairstyle aside, it doesn’t usually come off as juvenile. It makes sense for her. What I can’t stand about SJP is how haphazard so much of her look is lately, and how either juvenile or dated she seems to look. She really needs to figure out what cool is for her, for her age, and for 2014. It’s sad.

        • marlie

          And HBC doesn’t seem like she’s trying too hard. She just is the way she is.

          • luludexter

            exactly!

    • Judy_S

      These are just creepy. Like Barbie at 50, but really 50, after a lot of hard living with all those careers.

      • sagecreek

        Seriously, Judy. My first reaction was “scary”, and not in a good way.

      • jen_vasm

        Somewhere deep down and buried in SJP is a mature and sophisticated style sensibility. But due to being on lockdown to the SATC machine (which is stunting a whole generation of women to this day), belief that she must stay on the ‘out there’ spectrum of The Sartorialist street style photos and whatever else is going through her head, she has convinced her that this is the road to travel. Maybe when she is 85, we’ll applaud her for sticking to her script for so long, but seeing her like this is painful. It could be so much different – uplifting vs. tortuous. I’m sad now.

    • Stephanie J Mosley

      And this is why Carrie was my least favorite character. And her whining

    • Ginger

      Fucking stirrup pants (tights?) on a Monday morning? I need a drink…

    • suzq

      She has a contract with Wolford, no? Otherwise, why promote the brand of the hose?

      • Alloy Jane

        No idea if there is a contractual obligation but they’re the best, Wolfords are. No idea what the hell she’s got on. Super ugly. Of all the glorious items they have, she wears those? Insanity…

    • SewingSiren

      1. I actually love white lace with black tights. I like the green shoes too. Hate the hair do though.
      2. Her hair is better in this one.

    • KinoEye

      Be as harsh as you like on the posing. It’s stupid, infantilizing and not appealing in any fashion. Much like her clothing. A kitten mentioned the stirrup stockings in the TLounge, and I have to say they’re even worse than you led me to believe. She also needs a serious re-think on the makeup. Makes her look older than she is.

      • lexilexi

        And a serious rethink on the hair. How can a woman so successful and brilliant need so much help?

      • Farthingale

        The eyeliner is terrible, just terrible.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      Stirrup stockings are a thing?

      • Zeee

        A very very bad thing.

      • embers618

        Please, no. I’m hoping a fluke. Maybe if we all avert our eyes they will go away quietly.

    • sagecreek

      Also the hair and makeup are terribly aging. Time for a wake-up call.

    • Carleenml

      think how amazing she would look, with that bone structure, with a Robin Wright/House of Cards pixie and wardrobe.

      • sagecreek

        Conversely, imagine putting Robin Wright/House of Cards into those clothes. You simply can’t. Which further reveals how very juvenile they are.

        • Carleenml

          okay, but I would pay netflix to see that episode. ;-)

          • sagecreek

            LOL.

          • Sarah

            She would be doing it ONLY as a ruse to manipulate someone into ruining their own life. “See, my outfit has DESTROYED you. I will go back to my classy well-cut ensembles now.”

      • filmcricket

        Wardrobe, yes. I actually think the pixie wouldn’t work on her, but a version of the layered bob that Sarah Paulson is working right now would be great.

        (PS, SJP, if I’m recommending you look to Sarah Paulson for style inspiration, things have gotten really bad.)

        • mlle

          She had a cute chin length cut in one of the later years of SATC.

          • filmcricket

            Yes, I loved that cut, both straight and curly. I wish she’d go back to it.

            • mlle

              I did too, and it was great to see a TV lead with attainable hair (granted, I know people in real life who have long, perfectly styled hair, but I have no idea how they manage it).

          • Carleenml

            this reminds me of when Madonna had a similar cut. And she was SO adorable. Why don’t they listen to us? :)

    • SportifLateBoomer

      My immediate thought at the first photos was “mutton dressed as lamb” — which is phrase I LOATHE mainly because it’s demeaning and, well, I’m secretly worried about being accused of it myself — but her look lately is all trying to hard to be fashionable and youthful, but the bad, aging hair and makeup are doing no favors. It’s just.not.working.any.more!

      That being said, those black T-straps are totally wearable and my favorites from this fugly collection.

      And lastly, if that background crowd isn’t central-casting Nordie’s shoppers, I don’t know what is.

      • Carleenml

        I do love that black and white dress on the woman standing behind her. Cute!

        • marlie

          And she’s far more put-together, and selling the shoes better, than SJP.

          • DinnerIsServed1972

            Think of how cute SJP would look in that b/w number!

        • SportifLateBoomer

          Agreed. And I made my comment above as a loyal Nordstrom shopper. Though my attire is more yoga pants/clogs, for easy on/off while trying on.

    • Erica

      OK, she’s clearly getting paid to wear the jewelry and body suits, the shoes are hers. There is no excuse for the dresses.

      • 3boysful

        And have you noticed that 99% of the comments thus far concern her clothes? She is distracting us from her real objective–selling her shoe line.

    • lobsterlen

      Is that all the jewelry she owns? Last three appearances she has worn that same exact pendant and string of pearls and it stills doesn’t go with anything she has worn.

      • decormaven

        They must be her secret power talismans. Hon, they are NOT WORKING. Both of these looks give me the shivers.

    • marlie

      What the hell is up with those tights in the second outfit?? STOP, indeed. She’s dressing a little too young, her hairstyle in the first set of pictures is too young, and the broken doll posing works for no one. I’ve never thought she was all that stylish, but these two (really similar) outfits are the final nails in the coffin.

    • http://batman-news.com boweryboy

      I couldn’t get past the hair in the first photo. That hair. WTF!? The hair.
      In the second photo, the blonde woman in the b & w striped dress has my attention more than Carr – I mean Sarah.

      • lobsterlen

        I noticed that woman too. If the rumor is to be believed… Vogue would probably do better hiring some random well dressed woman in Nordstroms as their editor.

      • Tracy_Flick

        Oooh, she does look good. Love the hair color and the flattering dress. (I mean the background lady, not SJP!).

      • butterflysunita

        Yes, background lady is very stylish. Let’s have a post on her.

    • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      Y’know, if Hailee Steinfeld or any other teen movie star was wearing any of these looks, I would think they look fun. Which is a way of saying that she’s way too old for doing these looks.

    • Loola234

      OK – wait – doesn’t the bodysuit already make it annoying when you have to go to the bathroom? Then throw a dress (and another shirt?!) as well? Maybe she has a catheter…or stars…they’re not just like us?

      • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

        Actually, its a still suit like they wear on the planet Arakiss, it recycles everything.

    • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

      The list of things wrong here is so long it will require its own blog to suss out, and take years.

    • Marcella Peek

      How did she end up with Charo’s hair? Also, I’m looking at that first dreadful outfit and reading bodysuit under that lace dress. Does the woman never pee, because getting out of that in a restroom would be a nightmare.

      • Ginger

        I think you just offended Charo.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      This looks like a midlife crisis feels.

      • lobsterlen

        This is beyond midlife crisis.

      • lunchcoma

        Agreed, though I wish she’d decided on the version with the impractical convertible and the young boyfriend instead.

      • A Shiny O’Connor

        I must stock up on hideous lace dresses and open foot tights – seems cheaper than going the toy boy route.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      I do like the B/W striped dress the woman in the background of the Florida photo is wearing. Nice! SJP is the very definition of a hot mess in both locations.

    • http://vispreeve.tumblr.com/ Den Milano

      I’m all for unconventional fashion, but even kooky, crazy, adventurous fashion HAS TO MAKE SENSE. This just doesn’t.

    • NBG

      Both outfits are crying out for a field sobriety test.

      • Daisy Buchanan

        Instead of counting backwards from ten, she should have to list the seasons of SATC in order of excellence. If she starts with six, we’ll know she’s hammered.

        • NBG

          Well played, Daisy.

    • kipper

      After the initial shock – thinking why on earth is SJP letting Zooey and Lena style her ?!? You realize that she is giving the folks exactly what they want. When you see her in on the street fashion, or out on her own – she is NOT this Carrie, but a girl has got to pay the rent. She knows exactly what these mall ladies want, and she is giving it to them – check please….

      • sagecreek

        Possibly, but surely she’s in the income bracket where actually degrading herself for $ doesn’t have to be an option?

        • kipper

          I read somewhere that she is all about business and taking care of her families money. I still think these people would have gone away un-happy when they came to see Carrie Bradshaw and SJP in a LBD showed up instead. They would be happy if she would drink and smoke and talk about Big……

    • Alyssa

      Is she having some sort of mid-life crises where she think’s she’s still 13? Also, if you don’t like showing your arms, find dresses with sleeves. Enough with wearing random shirts under dresses!

    • A Shiny O’Connor

      ‘And I got to thinking, would people stop talking about how ‘bleh’ my shoe collection was if I showed up looking like me in the ’80s in SATC 2?’

    • mmebam

      Yikes! Get it together!

    • Claudia Fernandes

      there is a Samantha too (in blue)

    • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

      What’s with the ACE bandage tied around her wrist?

      • decormaven

        I can’t decide if it is a wrist bandage or a sad ribbon tied around the wrist. Glory, glory…

        • Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

          Oh no. She’s not still going on about the hair ribbons that she ironed every Sunday, is she?

          • decormaven

            I think you called it correctly.

    • Janet B

      SJP really needs a no-nonsense stylist. Someone to slap some sense into her.

    • Daisy Buchanan

      *thinks of something positive*

      The black eyeliner is gone, at least.

      • alyce1213

        I noticed it was a little lighter-handed on these. Less than the usual raccoon eyes.

    • alyce1213

      She looks like a bag lady in the second outfit.
      The white dress and black tights could have been cute in her Square Pegs era, 25-30 years ago.
      The pale lipstick, and long hair have got to go. She’s almost 50, this is ridiculous already.

    • Noah

      Wow. These outfits just made me really grumpy.

    • ryenerman

      SJP, Square Pegs was over 30 years ago, it is no longer appropriate or reasonable for you to dress like a jr. high. outcast. Please stop.

    • A Shiny O’Connor

      SJP needs a fashion gay to dress her up in his love (in his love), all over her body (all over her body).

    • lalahartma

      YIKES.

    • appliquer

      No. Just no.

    • jw_ny

      SJP is actually providing a public service. She’s the ultimate poster girl of “Not This” examples in the fashion world of “Do This, Not This” type articles.

    • mlle

      The white dress could have worked for the venue with a black slip and better hair/makeup/jewellery. There’s no way to salvage the second look because what the everloving fuck is going on there.

    • teensmom99

      Besides everything the uncles said, she looks strangely broad in this pictures. I realize that of course she does not weigh in the 3 digits, so that is crazy. No one as tiny as she is should be looking bulky. Gotta burn these clothes.

    • Danielle

      The hair in the first made me weep aloud.

    • NMMagpie

      I keep thinking she is having some body issues with her upper arms as to why she is pairing some of the pieces she has been choosing lately, for better or ill.

    • FrigidDiva

      I wonder if she’s not very happy with her arms or something is going on healthwise with them. I’ve noticed that in the looks featured that she’s been adding either Sleevies, a bodysuit, or a shirt underneath these dresses. She’s done the Carrie Bradshaw drag before, but she usually pulls it off better than this.

      • sagecreek

        Oh, cry me a river (that tone is directed at SJP, not at you, FD!). Every woman in that age bracket has to face the arms issue — except apparently Michelle, but she fits into #1 below.

        You can work out more, you can opt for more flattering designs, you can decide you just don’t care and hey, world, get over it, but there’s no call for ugly puffy shirts.

    • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

      I am still in recovery from discovering this outfit over the weekend – those of you in the T-Lounge might have spotted my freak out from this. Said recovery involves chocolate, buddhist temples, and a lie down in a darkened room.

      The thing about this is.. that fuchsia dress is seriously to die for without all the other wickety wack. No joke. It is a stunning dress.

      Stirrup leggings are a no. HELL no. Girlfriend needs an intervention, STAT.

    • elemspbee

      Sadness. She looks awful in both. Shirt under dress–who freakin thought of that?

    • artgirl9

      Oh noooooooo. no. no. I can’t even. no. She’s regressing!

    • OffToSeeHim

      Are sandals with stirrup pants a thing now? God, I’m going to HATE that.

    • jw_ny

      If she’s trying to distract the buyer’s attention from her hideous shoe collection…she’s succeeding.

    • A Shiny O’Connor

      When AnnaSophia Robb is cringing for YOU.

      • Rand Ortega

        Dayum. Swirling the bowl Dayum.

    • GorgeousThings

      Mutton dressed as lamb posing as a kewpie doll.

    • Sandra FledglingMixologista

      The too long and damaged hair makes both outfits look even worse.

    • http://www.lippsisters.com/ Deborah Lipp

      Sarah! Honey! SQUARE PEGS is OVER!

    • http://www.readbarbara.com/ ReadBarbara

      She’s clearly playing to the SATC audience — same people showed up and loved John Corbett’s band appearance. His band is awesome. He’s a terrible singer. Handsome as all get out, a fine actor, but a terrible singer. Most of the crowd didn’t mind or didn’t notice. Guess you gotta pay the bills.

    • Rand Ortega

      ECK!

    • DominoEstella

      That hair in the first look is doing her no favors.

    • http://urban-gypsy.com/ Tess Danesi

      I didn’t think she could look more ridiculous than in the first set of photos…and then I scrolled down. These cracked out toddler ensembles and her little girl hair in the first are aging her. I do think that she’s playing it as a SATC costume but even still, a thinner Edina Monsoon should be no one’s goal in fashion.

    • Cheryl

      I like the first dress and tights combo, but hated the shoes (sorry SJP, no boots in the collection?) and the way too tall and long hair. Better hair, makeup and boots and I would have embraced this look. Btw, where does a non-model learn how to pose for photos?

    • peachy

      grandma’s table cloth. jerry seinfeld’s puffy shirt. stirrup stockings. all of it: NO.

    • Gatto Nero

      Holy shit.
      That is all.

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      Both looks are horrible, and SJP, it is time to CUT THAT HAIR and rethink the eye makeup.

      • Tracy_Flick

        I couldn’t agree more. That eye makeup is awful, and has been forever. She’s starting to look like a “before” on What Not to Wear.

      • Miss Ruth

        Preach. The hair looks like it would break off in your hand (picturing the sad little tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas). And as my momma would say, those eyes look like two burnt holes in a blanket.

        • schadenfreudelicious

          My mother would have called it “two piss holes in the snow”..cause…Canada :)

    • Candigirl1968

      I can hear her saying to herself, “I bet the kids would like this.” She could not have been more wrong.

      If we see SJP in one of these outfits with AnnaSophia Robb, I may have to throw something at my computer.

    • KT

      God, these are both awful. You’re right, she’s a total fashion victim. She’s no longer setting the trends, but desperately attempting to look cool, and failing miserably. These both look like something I would attempt in middle school – thinking that I was being interesting and fashion forward, only to have my future self look back and laugh. No, girl.

      Also, you and the elderly gay windchime seriously need to stop it with the multiple fucked up necklaces — it makes you both look really out of touch.

    • icm

      This is bad so very bad,and what is with the scraps of ribbon wrapped around her wrist?

    • rkdgal

      The woman in blue next to her is putting her to shame. She looks fabulous and put together, and SJP looks a hot, crazy mess.

    • Rhonda Shore

      I want to scream, the 80s are over, girl!!!

    • Qitkat

      #1 When did SJP morph into Kathy Griffin?
      #2 This is what Whoopi really wanted to wear to the Oscars.

      • icm

        with all due respect kathy Griffin would not be caught dead in this shit.

        • Qitkat

          I wasn’t clear, I didn’t even mean the clothing, just the face and hair in the first shot.

      • alyce1213

        I think Kathy Griffin ca 1990s. Kathy’s really learned how to dress since then.

      • Qitkat

        The Kathy Griffin jab was basically all aimed at the above the shoulders hair and face look. I know she looks much better than this these days. And so usually does SJP. This is the most awful ever her hair has looked.

    • MilaXX

      I don’t hate the red outfit as much as I should, but man do I despise that white dress, black tights, green shoe look. I do think she’s wearing Carrie drag though because all these looks are even more crackalicious than usual. Sadly what they do hightlights more than anything is how not fabulous the shoes are. I wish she had partnered with Manolo for one fabulous shoe named SJP or The Carrie rather than this line of tepid fashion. I’d rather feel like I’m splurging than buying an average shoe because if the celeb name. If I wanted to do that I could buy Sirianos Payless line.

    • icm

      Hmmmm Julia Roberts failed at it,Whoopie Goldberg failed as well. SJP! what made you think that you could rock the white shirt stuffed into an ugly dress look and succeed.

    • butterflysunita

      I think you’re right that she’s trying to give her fans what they want.
      That hair in the first set of photos. Horrible.

    • Jeannie Shmina Greenwald

      And she’s too old for black nail polish, too.

    • Dan_In_NYC

      This is absolutely hilarious. That is all.

    • RescueMe23

      She looks so DONE with all of it! And who can blame her…

      • Gatto Nero

        And yet she continues! Why??

    • Nimith

      She must be torn between cursing the day she accepted the role, and thanking God for it.

    • dickylarue

      THIS is what happened to Baby Jane.

    • kimmeister

      In look #2, the ruching on the shoulders of that blouse is making it look like the blouse is all bunched up under her armpits (which it might very well be). Although that is clearly not the biggest problem going on here.

    • SistaT

      WHAT. THE. ENTIRE. HELL??? Are those footless tights in the second set of pictures?! You are not in ballet/modern dance class, Sarah Jessica! I can’t. I can’t even. I have never liked her style and I can’t stand that it looks like she’s made no changes to it as she’s aged. Not that one must dress in a matronly fashion but what looks good on a 20-something isn’t always going to look good on a 40 or 50-something. I know her fans want to see her as Carrie but I’m hoping that even Carrie would have grown up.

    • Sadie-Ann

      I don’t understand her legs in the second picture. She looks like she’s wearing Peter Pan’s shadow. Did she stick it on with soap?

      • alyce1213

        Peter Pan’s shadow! Yes.

      • Sabin

        That is awesome. Redeems the seconds I spent looking at this trainwreck.

    • BayTampaBay

      She looks awful because she is too damn old to be dressing like this, like Carrie or like a 23 year old wanna be fashion editor!

    • hellkell

      She can’t do Carrie drag without Pat Field behind her. This is just…sad.

    • Patrick Cleary

      I’m all for wearing whatever you want whenever you want, and “dressing your age” can be a bit constricting, but all the clothes in this article are appropriate for tweens and PERHAPS someone in her early 20s. If you go for something that young, it’s going to make you look ancient at any age beyond 25 because it’s just trying so very hard.

    • snarkykitten

      has she gone all Madge about her arms? She keeps wearing these weird strapless dresses with heavy sleeves underneath

    • SuzyQuzey

      Good lord, but this woman knows how to ruin a cute dress. She is wearing dresses that are way too young for her and then putting…things under them. Plus, her shoes are fug.

    • Liz

      The first look is OK, but the hair is tragic. The second, the hair is OK, but the look is tragic. I love long hair, but she is long overdue for a hair and makeup reset.

    • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

      Oh, for God’s sake. At the very least, fire your makeup gay. Whoever told you ‘clean face/no lip’ works on an someone pushing 50 should be slapped thoroughly. And for the love of all things holy, take 6″ off your hair, girl. Please. We know how pretty and talented you really are.

    • Miss Ruth

      PLEASE SOMEBODY EXPLAIN THE FABRIC STRIP BRACELET THING PLEASE.

    • crash1212

      I think she dressed like this for a reason and I’m not mad at her for it. However, I do think she’s in serious need of a hair consult.

    • CT14

      I hated her hair in the top pictures, but she looks worse when it’s down.

      CUT IT, SJP. It’s just too long for your face, and the top ponytail is too young for your face. (Kindness, love, it comes to us all)

      A cute bob? Curly bob? A style? Anything would help. The center part should go, too.

      The clothes are exactly as Uncles say.

    • smayer

      Second look, NO.
      But the first look actually works. The hair has to go, though. SJP has a long face, and halfway-up hair (with a tug to give it that cheerleader perkiness) is all kinds of wrong on her.

      • raeb23

        I agree that the 1st look isn’t that bad…if she removed some of the jewellery, got a haircut & swapped that eyeliner for a brighter lip it would be even better.
        look no 2…no comment.

    • Angela_the_Librarian

      Trying to distract people from noticing the mediocre shoes.

    • The Versatile Chef

      “YOUNG LADY, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE DRESSED LIKE THAT. YOU MARCH YOURSELF UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND CHANGE OUT OF THAT RIDICULOUS OUTFIT. AND WASH THAT STUFF OFF YOUR FACE WHILE YOU’RE AT IT” /my mom

    • Skippymom1

      Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Especially for pointing out how she stands. It’s as if she is saying “Like me. Please like me.” We like SJP. Really.

    • Darva Sutra

      Note: as the Uncles mentioned, the crowd of Carries, Mirandas and Charlottes DO seem to be eating up this Carrie Drag Parody.
      We Samanthas, on the other hand, just woke up next to a couple boy-toys after a long weekend bender. And this isn’t helping the hangover at all. Nudging Alejandro out to fetch me a Corpse Riviver (3/4 ounce gin, 3/4 ounce Cointreau, 3/4 ounce Lillet blanc, 3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice, Splash of absinthe)

    • http://www.ueberdesuper.net/ Ueber de Super

      She’s not even Edina.. not even Patsy… SHE IS BUBBLE!!!

    • Ashleigh

      A M E N !

    • Lilithcat

      There is one word for what she’s wearing. Pinafore. And pinafores belong on no one over the age of eight.

    • Shawn EH

      The uhm … shoes … look better because …. well, the clothes are so …. bad?

    • Pennymac

      Stirrup—-tights? Sheer leggings? Gasp,. Pantyhose?
      FASHION VICTIM! Yes, I meant to yell that.

      • kerryev

        Why do stirrup tights exist?

    • webslice33

      i have never got it why this lady is a fashion icon of sorts…and she isn’t pretty at all..

    • Fashcraze

      She is bow legged – kind of…that’s why she does those kind of posing.

    • Trickytrisha

      Poor thing, she’s going all Blanche Dubois on us.

    • kat89

      Blossom meets the Golden Girls…

    • majorbedhead

      The Chrissy doll hair in the first shot is making me weep. The stirrup stockings, though, are just making me angry.

      And why does she have a piece of beige fabric tied around her wrist?

    • http://tvblogster.blogspot.com Boop

      T & L – thank God you said it. You’re absolutely on the mark with this. She means well, but it’s getting ridic. She won’t let go of her youthful notions of fashion, and clings to crazy ca-ca looks. We’re of similar age. It hurts to look in the mirror and say – I can’t pull this off anymore.

    • AutumnInNY

      Is that an ace bandage around her wrist in the first photo? What the hell?

    • Donna Tabor

      Has she given up completely, or what?

    • Marjean Fieldhouse

      two words – Norma Desmond

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Agree with every word that TLo wrote. Even if SJP is giving the crowd what they want, she could do so much better than these two looks. For heaven’s sake, SJP, you are a grown woman-please, please give up the Carrie look and embrace the successful, smart woman you actually are.

    • formerlyAnon

      As has been said: stirrup stockings are a NO. Also: You will be 49 in 2 weeks. That hair. Take advice. It’s time.

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      She may need professional help to kick the lace monkey on her back.

    • Ginmaru

      “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” And I saw a picture of her the other day of before she was wearing the Amenhotep eye liner and damn! she looked pretty.

    • Just Me

      When the outfit/face combo reminds one of “Madge” on the town…it’s time for a serious makeover. Just saying, my dear, that you are better than this.

    • Linda Leeson

      High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, yodee oh do laylee oh do la la la

    • anotherkate

      Ugh, I like her too much to be seeing her this way.

    • Blair Sylvester

      maybe this is a calculated marketing ploy. If everything else you throw on is total hiddy crap suddenly your lackluster shoe line looks better? Also about damn time we admit that this woman is not a fashion icon but her professionally styled character was

    • mila_8

      She loves her tassel and pearls…third time is not the charm.

    • prettybigkitty

      Oh honey, no.

    • MzzPants

      What. The. Fuck.

    • http://kittysdrawings.com Esz

      What world is this trendy in?? Seriously. What a mess!

    • Corsetmaker

      Cut your hair woman! You look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards!

    • Pepper Collins

      I see these outfits and all I can say is neeeeeeeeigh!

    • Susan Velazquez

      OH MY GOD NO. I think you’re right TLo she insists on dressing like a bad Carrie–and not SATC Carrie, Carrie from The Carrie Diaries in all of her anachronistic, tacky glory.

      That being said, the first outfit would be salvageable if she ditched the tights and black shirt underneath. There is no hope for the second one. Ship that shirt back to the Gap, give that dress to a tween, and BURN THOSE STIRRUPS.

    • Crystal

      WTF STIRRUP LEGGINGS

    • JynxTheCat

      Ugh. That HAIR! Intervention time.

    • allcapsERINN

      To make it worse, I’m pretty sure ALLLLLLLLL those people are fawning all over her and telling her how FABULOUS she looks.

    • Alloy Jane

      Sheer stirrups?? SHEER STIRRUPS??? Great scott that is hideous. You know, I have friends who think SitC ruined NYC.

    • amaranth16

      I didn’t think her hair choices could make me more upset, but then she did the same high half-ponytail you see on small children at the park. Whyyyy?

    • Tee

      I’m more of a season 3 Samantha so I do not approve of this nonsense.

    • save_the_hobbit

      I would totally wear both of those outfits, but I’m also 23 so there’s that.

    • Pablo

      Go home sarah, you’re drunk

    • Susan Velazquez

      I fucking can’t go anywhere else and discuss the fug of these outfits anywhere else. There are some die hard SATC fans who insist SJP looks great in everything. Someone defended the stirrups. *faints in horror*

    • m3grrl

      Is that a used bandage wrapped around her wrist? Did she hurt herself?

    • lesmaha

      That’s sad. Like she’s trapped in SATC. I loved the show, but this is ridiculous.

    • http://www.spellboundbymovies.com Beth Ann

      So you have had Edina Monsoon on your mind lately, too!

      SJP does not look too happy in these pictures. I suspect you’re right about the Carrie drag, but I suspect she’s wearing it on purpose as part of her branding to make money versus actually liking these looks.

      Although one of the sad things about Carrie was that she always dressed younger than her age. I thought it was a way of showing her immaturity to be dressing like a rich twenty-something when pushing forty.