Darlings, we promise that we’ll have at least one post a week about our new favorite obsession, but because of work issues and a quick, unexpected trip into NYC for some bidness, we’re late and we’re going to have to wrap this one up in one post. So hoist up your tits and let’s get started, bitches!
Have we settled on Akashia as the Bitch of the Season yet? She’s certainly being edited that way. We’ll say this: that kid has a beautiful face and could make a stunningly beautiful drag queen, but right now her look is a little trashy and her attitude is gonna ruin things for her if she doesn’t tone it down. Santino put it best: “You just radiate a bad energy.”
Anyway, let’s get on with the show, shall we?
We kinda loved the low-rent quality of the preliminary challenge.
A “photoshoot” with nothing more than a digital camera and your face. It doesn’t get more basic than that.
As an aside, let’s hear it for the Pit Crew! In our opinion, television could only be improved by the addition of oiled down muscle men in their underwear to every show. Seriously, we’d even sit through Grey’s Anatomy if it had a couple of these guys wandering through every scene.
Miss Ru. Born to be in the spotlight, if not the key light. Anyway, let’s look at some of the posing:
“Cher is retiring for real!”
“You just found out that your ten thousand dollar Louis Vuitton bag is a fake.”
Sublime. Truly the Dame Judi Dench of drag queens.
So, congrats to Ongina and Akashia!
That is one GLOATING queen.
That was some high-pitched queen-shrieking going on when Miss Michelle walked in to the room. We were thrilled, because we got a chance to chat with Michelle for a Metrosource interview some months back and we can’t say enough how sweet she was and how much she loves the gays. She’s fabulous and we’re nominating her for Diva-hood right now.
To no one’s surprise, Miss Tammie Brown was the last one picked for the Drag Queen dodgeball teams. We felt a little bad for her. None of the challenges really play to her old-school, comedy-based drag, nor do they play to the campiness of her character.
On the other hand, as Miss Ru said, “That’s why they call it a challenge.”
Oh, if only Tim Gunn had the balls of your average drag queen so he could snap that in some whiny designer’s face.
This team had “disaster” written all over it, partially because of the inclusion of Tammie but mainly because Akashia had to be, in Tammie’s words, the “Beyonce” of the group.
On the other hand, Ongina’s team went off without a hitch, for the most part. Shannel was a little bossy, but she was pretty much as toned down as a diva drag queen can get under the circumstances.
WHY doesn’t Heidi do this when she comes out on the runway? Miss Ru knows the score. Always play to your strengths. Heidi should come out on every episode of PR dressed in full-on Victoria’s Secret stripper wear.
“Serving Fish” (oh, ladies, you are BAD) knocked that shit OUT. They all looked spectacular and you’d never have known they had …what? A day to put together a routine, make the outfits and rehearse?
And Shannel is freaking gorgeous!
But Ongina, honey…shouldn’t you be, y’know, living up to your name?
As for “3D…”
They just looked so trashy. Certainly, when you’re a drag queen, sometimes you go that route for the comedy effect, but we don’t get that impression. This was what Nina would have called a “taste issue.”
Although Tammie did manage to bring the comedy.
To no one’s surprise, it came down to Tammie and Akashia for the lipsynch-off.
By the way, Tammie actually can be quite pretty when she works at it.
And she’s certainly got the legs for drag.
But Miss Tammie decided she didn’t want to compete and Akashia would have knifed a bitch to stay in the competition, so Miss Tammie sashays and Miss Akashia shantays. That’s just the way it is in the cold, unforgiving world of drag.
And any woman who cries tears of joy when she sees a drag queen lip-synching her song is a woman we want to KNOW, bitches. HOLLA!
[Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com - Photos: RuPaul'sDragRace.com]