COSMOPOLITAN Magazine: STRANGER THINGS star Finn Wolfhard Wants to Move On

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Finn Wolfhard wants to move on. THE STRANGER THINGS actor has been on one of Netflix’s most popular shows since he was 12. Now with four new projects, including a debut solo album, the 22-year-old is ready for anything—like leaving his childhood-defining project behind. In a new COSMOPOLITAN digital cover story, Finn gets into everything from growing up in the spotlight and how therapy helped him process his intense emotions to dating, directing, and plans for the future.  

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On still missing his Stranger Things life, holding on to the experience—to his people—for as long as he can: “That’s the hard part, that me and the rest of the cast are never going to be hanging out in the way that we were when we shot the show.”

On who of the Stranger Things crew is the most likely to order a round of tequila shots: “Gaten Matarazzo or Caleb McLaughlin. They love a good night out. I’m the homebody of the group. I’m like, ‘Hey guys, maybe we should go home early.’ I like being comfortable in a house, playing a board game or whatever.”

On sharing an unbreakable bond with his Stranger Things castmates: “We all lived around the corner from each other when we were shooting. We saw each other daily and started a little commune. These guys really are like family in a lot of ways….There used to be this expectation from all of us that if we didn’t talk to each other between seasons, it didn’t really matter. It’s kind of like school in that way where it’s just like, ‘I’ll see you when I see you.’ Then last year, we were like, ‘Oh, this is it. We’re not going to just see each other just because.’ It deepened all of our relationships, going through the ending of the show—and then being able to come out the other side and still be friends.”

On always being “the guy from the show” and when Stranger Things will actually feel over to him: “In a lot of ways, and I feel comfortable with this, I’ll never really feel like it’s the end because the show continues to be introduced to people. And I’ll always be recognized as the guy from the show, and that is fine. I like that. And I wouldn’t be here talking if it wasn’t for the show. So I don’t know if it’ll ever feel truly over.”

 On his upcoming debut solo album, and whether he wants it to get as big as Stranger Things: “When I was really young, I expected Stranger Things to be a niche thing. In my head, the furthest it went when it came to fame was just like, ‘Oh, maybe once in a while, I’ll get recognized in the street; maybe I’ll be on a podcast.’ It snowballed and became this big thing, and I think my brain is still there—I still see it as this small show, even though it’s massive.

“Making this kind of music, I get to recapture that feeling. I’d love for people to listen to it, but I’m not chasing after playing stadiums or being a pop star. I’m just trying to do this thing that I’ve always liked. If I can play a club I like, that’s all that matters.”

On the biggest thing he learned being in the director’s chair for his directorial debut, Hell of a Summer: “I don’t like conflict. I don’t like having hard conversations with people. But it’s necessary for a lot of things. Being able to have conversations that are tougher—like, ‘This is the problem that I have, how can we get through it together?’—is really important. Filmmaking helped me do that, because it forced me to deal with uncomfortable feelings.”

On why being a people-pleaser can be a good thing: “There are so many advantages to being a people pleaser. With people pleasers, I think there’s an overall kindness and optimism for things to be okay. Sometimes you need that. But then at a certain point, you have to be realistic, because you’re just doing other stuff for other people. And that’s not good or healthy for you as a person….But being able to have empathy for people and want to do right by them, that’s a good feeling to have.”

On wishing someone had asked him if he was okay on set as a kid: “My parents did such a great job, but we were all experiencing it for the first time together. So I wish I had someone say to me, ‘Hey, all of this stuff that you’re really excited about, all this attention, it’s great, but it’s not real.’ It might make you a better performer, but it’s not going to make you a more well-rounded person. I think that there’s a baseline thing when it comes to all child actors. When people ask a kid, ‘Are you okay?’ They’ll say, ‘Yes.’ And that means nothing.”

 On why studios should pay for counseling: “Kids don’t want to disappoint anyone. They don’t even know if they’re okay. I find it odd that these big studios that have so much money and they have media training, training actors to give good interview answers, and they don’t have counseling. It’s not anyone’s fault, but it’s not really talked about.”

On having the most awkward years of his life immortalized on film forever: “This is going to sound so crazy, but because I was playing a character that was really awkward, it’s almost like I tricked myself into believing that I wasn’t going through that stuff, because I was just doing it while acting. Then, in my normal life, I was normal and cool. It’s so not true. The whole time I was going through my most awkward years. I mean, it’s not great going through puberty in front of the whole world, but I wouldn’t change it.”

On whether he would have chosen to delay his own fame: “No. I don’t think so. Because this made me into who I am today. But I think for my son or my daughter, I would say, ‘If you want to act, you have to wait.’ I’d probably allow them to take classes, do high school theater. Because acting’s really hard. I would’ve put myself in therapy at 12. That wasn’t because the show was so crazy. I just wish I would’ve had a therapist that was like, ‘Hey, what’s going on? How do you actually feel?’ Just really asking. Because once you are on a show that’s big, you don’t really have time to stop and think, Did I like that thing that that person said to me? Did I like doing that interview? You’re just doing it.

“But also, if I were to go back in time and ask my younger self if I was okay, I’d probably say, ‘Yes. Get the f*ck away from me. This is awesome.’ It’s just important to be there or to ask.”

On what mental health tools he has now that he wishes he had as a kid: “I think, through therapy, I’ve learned how to not treat life as a crisis. You go through these periods where you feel super anxious or super depressed, and in your head, you just think that this is your life now and that this is what it’s going to be. I have learned to treat them as little pockets of hard stuff, hard things. And that’s something that when I was a teenager, whenever I would get these horrible panic attacks and I wouldn’t know how to get through it, I wouldn’t think like, Oh, I’m going to be fine soon, or I’m going to feel normal really soon. It’s more just like, this thought, Oh yeah, I’m going to die and this is who I’m going to be forever.”

 On what else he is working through: “Even though I’m so lucky to have the family that I had and I had as normal of a life as I could, there’s things that I’ve missed developmentally, questions that I have about myself that I’d like to experience or answer before I throw myself into a committed relationship.”

On what some of those questions are: “It’s more about being comfortable with myself, honestly. Because no one is actually comfortable, everyone’s faking it all the time, and I think I would like to be in a place where I kind of admit to myself, Oh, it’s okay to not be perfect, or It’s okay to not be in a place where you don’t feel like you’re in the right place at the right time. I’m really hard on myself in that way. I’d like to be less hard on myself. Because I don’t want to subject someone to that. But that is part of being in a committed relationship, bringing that side of yourself that’s lost.”

[Photo Credit: Grayson Vaughan for Cosmopolitan Magazine]

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