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Shakira and Jennifer Lopez at the Super Bowl LIV Halftime Show

Posted on February 03, 2020

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As homosexuals, we can usually take or leave the annual superb owl festival of sports, but as professional homosexuals, we felt compelled to tune in to assess that explosion of Latina divahood and hip power blasted into the world’s faces during the halftime show. In short, these two middle-aged ladies TURNED THAT SHIT OUT.

And while attention has rightly been paid to the insane level of talent and workwomanship on display during those amazing performances, we have to pause and pay attention to the eye-popping costume design. Because we’re shallow that way.

Shakira in Custom Peter Dundas
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Jennifer Lopez in Custom Atelier Versace
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No offense to Miss Shakira, but J Lo really owned this, from top to bottom. We suppose there is an innate advantage in the stagewear department if you’re the gal with Donatella’s private line. The silver bodysuit is spectacular, but the leather fetish gear with the pink ballgown skirt is flipping amazing.

And again, no offense to Miss Shakira, but Jenny’s performance was a stunner. What struck us most was how she made it all seem completely effortless. She never broke a sweat and her hair never looked anything less than spectacular. To be fair, Shakira was no slouch and owned J Lo in the hip-shaking sweepstakes, but then again, that’s pretty much her trademark and her superpower. Oh, let’s not pit them against each other, darlings. They were both amazing and we were all the better for having seen the awesome power of their Latina hips.