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RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 1 Episode 5

Posted on March 06, 2009

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We’ll be honest. At first, we thought this might have been a shark-jumping moment for the show.

Our thinking was “Really, producers? You’re going to point out that a bunch of sissyboys can’t throw a punch? That they’re intimidated by a bunch of tough girls?”

O, we of little faith. We should have known better.

Instead, it was a brilliant illustration of how gender norms are largely affectations and sissy boys can sometimes throw a punch while butch girls can be taught how to sashay in a pair of heels.

Besides, we thought the (bio)girls were total sweethearts about the whole thing. Sweepee especially. We kind of assumed they were going to hate the challenge and cause a lot of trouble and just be bitchy about it.

Instead, some of the queens turned out to be the bitches in the group. BeBe, we luvya, but you weren’t exactly lovable this episode.

We loved these (bio)girls for being so game and working so hard for something that wasn’t going to benefit them in any way. Let’s hear it for the genderfuck warriors!

Now let’s go to the tape:

We kinda thought the judges were a little hard on BeBe. Then again, we thought this judging was all-around fucked up. Sure, Michelle didn’t look exactly like her, but we thought it was brilliant that BeBe translated her ethnic-based African drag to a Middle Eastern aesthetic.

Michelle looked great and the judges complaining that she had too much makeup on made NO sense to us at all. It IS a drag show, bitches, remember?

Attention must be paid to Shannel’s efforts because she had the hardest (bio)girl to work with.

Not that she wasn’t an utter sweetheart, but she was the butchest person in the room and he managed to turn out a look that, while not exactly classy, was nonetheless feminine and drag-inspired.

Live from the red carpet! It’s Joan and Melissa Rivers!

What the fuck, judges? You bitched at BeBe for not making her (bio)girl look more like her and then you bitched at Nina for making her (bio)girl look EXACTLY like her. We call bullshit. We thought they BOTH looked fabulous.

How cute were these two, by the way? Dueling accents!

Honestly, we had no problem with Rebecca’s win, even though it seemed a lot of other people did.

Did she have one of the easiest (bio)girls to work with (in the sense that she was traditionally feminine and had a more girlish figure)? Sure.

Is her look one of the easiest to appropriate? Yes again. But that’s not really her fault. That’s how Rebecca rolls most of the time. She’s the “pretty” one in the eyes of the judges so all she had to do was make her (bio)girl look traditionally pretty. Mission accomplished.

As for Ongina, kittens it killed us to see her go, but she really did fuck this one up. For one, this should have been the time when she chucked her normal “little boy in drag” bit and gone for something a little more feminine. Seriously, why on earth would she wear pants and not tuck herself?

For another, he did a shitastic job on his (bio)girl’s look. It looked half-assed and it didn’t look like an Ongina look at all.

And while we think BeBe took it way too far in the lipsynching, Ongina should have known by now that the judges are looking for a girl who will BRING IT when her back’s up against the wall.