Everyone Wants to Be… Reese Witherspoon in Tory Burch in Los Angeles

Posted on March 28, 2014

We know we feature Reese a lot. It’s not like she’s had new projects coming out left and right. But if there are three things we love when it comes to the world of celebrity, they’re as follows:


Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-WJWBBJ-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Reese Witherspoon out and about in Los Angeles, California wearing a Tory Burch jacket accessorized with a Jason Wu ‘Daphne’ bag and SJP by Sarah Jessica Parker pumps.

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-WJWBBJ-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1B)Tory Burch Nicole’ Jewel-Trim Jacket | Jason Wu ‘Daphne’ Bag | SJP by Sarah Jessica Parker ‘Slim’ Peep Toe Pump

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-WJWBBJ-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-WJWBBJ-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-WJWBBJ-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

1) That “Everyone wants to be me” manner in which they sell the shit out of a certain image of themselves and do a damn impressive job of getting that image out to the public. Bottom line: we’ll always respect a star who knows how to get a spotlight on her. That’s a huge part of the job of being a star. We joke a lot about these sidewalk tour photo shoots she does, but the fact is, she does them really well.

2) Fabulous, photo-ready street style that really tells the public who she’s trying to be to them. A consistent image of her that is either aspirational or gives the illusion of being attainable. Reese is very much working that “stylish mom with a busy schedule and lots of money” look, which manages to be both illusorily attainable and aspirational at the same time. She’s launching a “lifestyle company” based on her own style, so getting the spotlight on her and then dressing up for it isn’t just smart in a general sense, it’s straight up brand marketing.

And finally,

3) The ability to, despite all of the self-serving reasons for dressing up and getting your picture taken, give  the photographers an epic bitchface that would make a drag queen weep in awe. Attafreakingirl. That’s a STAR.




[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com]

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  • @Biting Panda

    Witherspooning. Absofuckinglutely.

    • Pennymac

      WITHERSPOONING!!!!!! How have I not heard this before? Its brilliant!

    • Lucía Gavello

      Oh man, that’s what I want for my 29 birthday -tomorrow- the ability to whitherspoon my way through a workday… I’ll start practising the bitchface.

      • Jackie4g

        Happy Birthday. Hope it’s a great day and an even better year.

        • Lucía Gavello

          Thank you!

      • Happy birthday!

        • Lucía Gavello

          Thanks Alicia 🙂

  • VicD

    That’s an OSCAR winna’ right there.

  • She is selling the shit out of every bit of that outfit. May seriously go order those shoes right now. And maybe my favorite part of this is that it doesn’t seem to be an act. This is who she is and she is owning every second of it. Snaps, girl.

    • decormaven

      Laughing that she is wearing those SJP shoes- and making them work. The power of Witherspooning (tip o’ the hat to Biting Panda.)

      • prisma

        I know! When I first looked at the SJP line I thought they were boring and old ladyish but darned if Reese doesn’t make me want this particular pair. (Although what’s going on with the hem of her jeans? They look like they’re rolled under or something weird.)

  • @Biting Panda

    Also, re: said lifestyle branding, if she can manage to not sound like a pretentious, out of touch, twat, she’ll take down Dame Goop. I was laughing at “unconscious coupling”, but I am furious at her most recent claims as to how much easier we plebeian “office jobs” mom have it than actresses.

    Get her Tracy Flick!!

    • Evan

      Tracy Flick will cut that bitch. And I guess having nannies is a burden. *Gets out world’s smallest violin*

      • decormaven

        Nothing like a solo from the Tiny Violin! Play on, minstrel, play on.

    • Qitkat

      Have you seen the New York Post item, published yesterday, “A working mom’s open letter to Gwyneth”? She channeled her fury into a comedic, sarcastic account of a day in her life, comparing it to GPs.

      It has generated hundreds of comments, from all sides, from castigating GP to defending her, and sympathizing with the writer mom to slamming her. Clearly this has touched a nerve that exposes the chasm of lack of empathy, lack of understanding, and most of all resentments between the classes of our society. And reading those comments really makes clear how very very very far we have to go in this country, in terms of affordable child care for everyone and fair working conditions for women and men also in some cases.

      I’m no longer in the position of ‘working mom/stay-at-home mom (did both) with child care needs’; but I have enormous sympathy for families these days, just observing what two of my married sons and their wives and children go through. It’s clear to me that as much as I found things often very difficult when I, along with my husband, was raising a family, in the 70s, 80s and 90s, that it is so much harder these days, and so very very much more expensive.

      • decormaven

        Wow, the response to that NY Post piece was something. Conscious uncoupling has resulted in a tremor in the Life Force, indeed.

      • @Biting Panda

        Oh yes. I retweeted that shit, with the quickness. Parenthood isn’t easy for anyone, but the ridiculously rich and privileged need to keep their pie holes firmly fucking shut.

      • demidaemon

        The fact that anyone would defend GOOP’s pretentious, out of touch worldview is quite worrying to me.

    • DTLAFamilies

      “Conscious uncoupling” = “I even divorce better than you.”

      • Farthingale

        I mentioned this on another thread, “Conscious Uncoupling” has “Portlandia” written all over it. I can’t wait for Spike and Iris to take it on.

        “I even divorce better than you” is EXACTLY what CU says to me. Because Her Goopness could not even begin to imagine that anyone besides herself would prefer an amicable divorce. I do not wish her ill– but I do look forward to a turn of events that would force feed Her Ladyship a heaping helping of humble pie.

        • zenobar

          Just… CACAO, Gwyneth. Cacao.

      • Jacob Bowen

        My EXACT thoughts when I heard it. Gwyneth is TOO GOOD for the ugly world “divorce”.

      • Valerie Dunbar Jones

        Make no mistake, Gwynnie does absolutely nothing “consciously.” Nothing. She is the very embodiment of unconsciousness.

    • Guest

      I thought that was Gwyneth with the “office jobs moms” crack?

      • @Biting Panda

        It was. I was saying I was taking her (GP’s) shit in good humor, until that interview was released. Now she’s on my shit list and I want to see RP kick her smug, bony, ass.

        • demidaemon

          That’s what it took to get on your shit list? I am impressed by your ability to give someone that much benefit of the doubt.

          • @Biting Panda

            My shit list is very exclusive. VICs only.
            (Very Ignorant Cunts)

          • demidaemon

            I’ll have to use that acronym!

          • @Biting Panda

            I think it can be improved upon. Let’s go with VICs (Vapid Ignorant Cunts) because really, the “very” is implied. : )

          • demidaemon

            True, true. I heartily second your editorial decision.

    • Tracy_Flick

      I’m on it

  • Mothra

    I am not usually a fan of those peeptoe pumps but I kinda dig those shoes a lot. Maybe because of the bitchface! Also, do we know anything about those sunglasses which i am already coveting?

  • Mary Elizabeth Poytinger Baume

    and she actually makes those SJP shoes look cute.

    • marlie

      One of the few pair of workable shoes in the bunch.

    • Yes! SJP convinced someone to wear them!

  • alyce1213

    She may be selling, but I’m not buying. I dislike everything she’s got on here, except the blue D’Orsay pumps (which should be worn with something else).
    Her jeans look like cutoff jeggings, the bag is matronly, the Tory Burch top is misplaced. The sunglasses, which probably cost a grand, look like cheap plastic from the street vendors.
    Nothing is cool, it’s not put together well. Not her best parking lot show.

    • mjude

      oh dear, I think you might need a drink 🙂

      • alyce1213

        Yaaas I do. She bugs me on a regular basis, and occasionally her Miss Priss thing is just too much to take. This is one of those times.

        • mjude

          I totally get it. I am buying 🙂

    • DTLAFamilies

      I’m with you. There are horrible blind items out there about how she treats her nannies and other help and it makes me loathe her. She’s a cookie full of arsenic.

      • Grumpy Girl

        Love that phrase: cookie full of arsenic. I may have to try that out this weekend.

        • DTLAFamilies

          It’s from the movie Sweet Smell of Success with Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis. Fantastic, must-see movie.

      • Sunraya

        Not surprised. She looks like she would be nasty with her “underlings,” and even though people say her cop abuse was a long time ago, it really wasn’t. After waitressing my way through college, I always say you can tell the character of a person by the way he/she treats people who are serving them in one way or another.

    • It’s only the leggings that I responded to with a big negative. They are not a flattering fit.

    • kimmeister

      The bridge of the sunglasses looks huge, and the overall shape is not flattering to her. I don’t dislike anything besides them, but the shoes and the jacket don’t go in the same outfit.

      • Carrps

        Yeah, those sunglasses are seriously unflattering.

  • rkdgal

    One does not fuck with the Flick. If she can crush Ferris Bueller (and how cute she’s wearing SJP shoes), she’ll do it to you in a heartbeat and enjoy every second.

  • Anna

    I don’t hate those SJP shoes on her. Now THAT IS impressive. And she’s sold me on that jacket, but I’d prefer it to be given to me instead.

    • decormaven

      Yes, just like it was given to RW. The swag she must get- le sigh.

      • Anna

        Exactly. I get how celebrity marketing, PR and blah blah blah all works but the fact that they can afford to pay for all this shit, but don’t, really is astounding (and obviously doesn’t sit well with me).

  • Nikko Viquiera

    I think it’s pretty safe to say that she’s recovered from that scandal way back when. I don’t even remember the details anymore on account of being blinded by her fierceness. PARKING LOT TOUR 2014 is officially a success!

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Where can we get the t-shirts that say that? 🙂

      • Anna

        Ha, see last Friday’s edition of the parking lot tour. Miss KinoEye was talking about making them.

        • We need tour merch for the parking lot tour and the T.Lounge.

          • Jacob Bowen

            I would buy Reese Witherspoon Parking Lot shirts with her EPIC bitch face. I would also LOVE a TLounge shirt/smokingjacket/drinkingoutfit.

  • Sunraya

    Does her “lifestyle company” include a abusing police officers and driving with a drunk? I cannot get over the audacity of this woman!! Seriously??? A fricking lifestyle company?? What an asshat. But I think it’s most of these celebrities. It’s like Paltrow giving lifestyle advice – they are just all so absurd. Her latest was why it is harder to be an actress on-set than to have a 9to5 job in an office. Clueless.

    Her clothes are cute, BTW.

    • MilaXX

      Did you see that letter the woman wrote to Gwynnie after she said in an interview that woman working 9-5’s have it easier than her 14 hour days on set? AWESOME.

      • Sunraya

        I did! I thought it was awesome, too! It’s very frustrating to see bad behavior, like Witherspoon’s, and entitled BS attitudes, like Paltrow’s, rewarded with more picture deals, publicity and money in our society. If I did what Reese here did, I more than likely would have spent a few days in jail before getting out. And Paltrow is just the most clueless person on the planet. That’s why I like to see some of the good ones in the public eye do well. For all the Hathaway hate, she seems like a kind young lady.

        • Glammie

          Eh, Reese just yelled at the cop. People generally don’t get jailed for that. Her hubby, on the other hand, was the one driving drunk. I figure Reese’s public exposure was fitting and suitable punishment. She did apologize and her reputation (and earning power) took a hit. That’s why she’s still doing all these PR paparazzi photos. It’s not because she’s getting her pick of roles right now.

          As for Paltrow–people have always hated her because she was pretty much given her career–there was a point when she was getting all the roles (and making them forgettable.) Don’t get the sense that Paltrow is mean–just vapid.

          • Sunraya

            You are right. She did just yell at the cop. I think what bugged me was what she yelled (Do you know who I am?) and that she probably knew her husband was impaired and still got in the car with him. Drunk driving is a sore spot with me. I’m a teacher and every year we have presentations for the kids, given by people who have had family killed by drunk drivers. So I overreact.

            Paltrow – I think she’s just clueless and vapid, also. But she should really be told by someone who cares about any career she may ever have to shut her mouth.

          • Glammie

            Well, both of them had impaired judgment. No question, Reese was way out of line when she yelled and I think she’s a bitch–though I’m amused by her bitchiness because of the way it pokes through her sweet Southern belle persona. Other thing is that while I consider her behavior out of line, I’ve known a number of pretty high-handed cops who don’t always use their authority well. I don’t think she should have been arrested for yelling, brat though she was. Moral: they needed a limo or a designated driver. Not like they couldn’t afford it. Yeesh.

            As for Paltrow, I can’t believer her flacks haven’t told her how to behave, but she’s self-absorbed that I suspect what she’s told just doesn’t consciously couple in her mind.

            And, yes, I think poor Anne Hathaway is now allowed back in from the cold.

          • demidaemon

            Loving your turns of phrase here. I give Reese a lot more leeway than GOOP because I have heard (and seen) much worse behavior from those who have overindulged. GOOP has no excuse for her ignorance.

      • alyce1213

        It was perfect. I hope it gets back to her, ‘though she’s hiding way now.
        A friend of mine sent me the link, with this comment:

        “During an interview with Meryl Streep years ago the interviewer asked, ‘How do you do it? How do you balance your career and being a mother?’ to which she replied, ‘Are you kidding? The real question is how do YOU do it? My life is easy compared to most.’ And there’s the difference between a class act and a class clown.”

        • DTLAFamilies

          Thanks for giving me another reason to love Meryl.

          • DebbieLovesShoes


    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      How do you say asshat? Is it ass hat or ass shat?

      • Ass hat.

      • AthenaJ

        ass hat

        Edited to add: Does anyone know the originator of asshat? I first saw the word in a Jen Lancaster book and almost keeled over laughing.

        • My assumption is that their head is so far up their arse that they are wearing it like a hat. But I don’t know who originally coined it.

          • KinoEye

            Funnily enough, I actually looked up the spelling for it not too long ago. I wanted to name a particularly annoying character in the game I’m playing Ass Hat and just had to get it right. And yep, sure enough, the definition is exactly what you wrote.

          • Excellent! I love it when guessed etymology is correct.

          • demidaemon

            And who would this character be? Inquiring minds want to know. 🙂

          • KinoEye

            Tidus, of course! I have a middle school sense of humor, because I keep cracking up any time he has dialogue. Or when I’m playing blitzball — “Ass Hat fumbles the ball!” But it just suits him so well.

          • demidaemon

            Ha! My brother use to do that with the rival character in the original Pokemon. It’s funny to hear Professor Oak say, “My grandson, Asshole,….”

            Unfortunately, in the newest games, you can’t do that anymore because of the online functionality and the fear of poisoning a child’s mind. 🙁

          • Gatto Nero

            Ah. My eyes are opened.

        • Carrps

          I first heard it on an early episode of “That Seventies Show,” so that was ages ago….

      • Evan

        “Ass shat” works if it’s an Ass hat that shits. Sorry for the language, but I couldn’t help myself.

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        Thanks everyone, lol. 🙂

  • Meg

    At this point I’m just operating from the assumption that Reese Witherspoon is a real-life version of Jane from Happy Endings.

  • marlie

    SPOT ON. Main Line soccer mom realness. Also, though, a look that anyone could easily replicate with less-expensive items, thus fulfilling at least part of “be me.”

  • clatie

    I’m not going to lie – I WANT EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF THIS OUTFIT. The envy is hurting me.

  • Evan

    Tory Burch seems like her ideal brand in that it screams “Rich bitches who lunch”

    • MilaXX

      Exactly! If Michael Kors was to ask Tony Burch who her woman was she could easily point to Reese. Reese is her target audience.

  • ccinnc

    Damn, I wish my legs looked like that in skinny ankle jeans.

  • Fuchaforever

    SUCH A PRO Reese! God bless her! I knew she was going to be huge ever since I first saw her in Man on the Moon.

  • Business on top….party down below. Love this look.

  • Noah

    But the big question is: Does this count as a stop on the Parking Lot Tour?

    • alyce1213

      Looks like she’s on her way to the parking lot, but I don’t know whether it’s “official” if she doesn’t have car keys in hand.

  • Cathy S

    I love that jacket so much.

  • queeniethebold

    Yep. Cute.

    But boy howdy … $2,300 for a bag to carry while you’re out and about just toddling around? And those SJP shoes are $345 at Nordstrom. Really? They look more like shoes you could get at Rack Room for, say, you know. $45.

    Just more reminders that The Starz aren’t like us. Or rather: we aren’t like The Starz.

  • I don’t particularly want to be Reese Witherspoon. I do, however, want that jacket.

  • ojosazules

    My very favorite rich bitch.

  • NBG

    I am not buying the fit of the jeans. Something is really off there.

    • Grumpy Girl

      Let’s be honest here. The idea of Reese wearing jeans in general just seems wrong. She should be in those pants Southern Lunching ladies wear, that come in myriad colors. (There was a lady in a previous office where I worked, who had them in every color of neutral and pastel. Jeans were considered “dungarees” and really only appropriate for gardening or hard-core spring cleaning.)

    • Janet B

      I think jeans are the one piece of clothing Reese doesn’t wear well in these “gal on the street” shows.

  • Fashcraze

    Still don’t like her…

  • Jessica Freeman

    Girl knows how to rock a casual look. She makes it look easy.

  • KinoEye

    The ultimate rich bitch. Snaps of respect over here.

  • Danielle

    I can’t with those silly sunglasses.

  • DagnyReardon

    Totally agree with our dear uncles. Love it all.

  • andi56

    Eh. That jacket screams upper-Northwest D.C. matron. No thanks! Those chicks always wear jeans with these jackets, and ugh.

  • mskgb

    “Ilusorily attainable,” indeed. The shoes cost $345, the jacket $695 and the bag $1995. Add the cost of the jeans, top, belt and sunglasses, and the total likely approaches two months of this working mom’s take-home pay. But damned if the sales pitch didn’t send me sussing out the price of SJP peeptoes. Her achievement of #2 without touring key spots a stylish mom with a busy schedule is likely to be: her children’s school and extracurricular activity sites. Very smart image engineering. I also love how she exits grocery stores without the heavy bags that would contort her body, muss her clothes or prevent her from displaying her handbag logo side front. Well played (:golf claps:).

    Going to the NY Post open letter now, upon advice of other BKs.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Is Reese the reigning Queen of Resting Bitch Face? Or is it January Jones?

  • Glammie

    Awww, I appreciate proper Reese love–admire her for her bitchiness and total drop-dead diva ambition. I hope she does an adult Tracy Flick or Little Red someday. I’m hoping that her drunken rantings destroyed any America’s Sweetheart career.

  • Monabel

    Love the armscye treatment!

  • pookiesmom

    I am REALLY not into this look. At all. The jeans are weird, the shoes are boring, the jacket looks like something my grandma would buy for me, and the sunglasses scream “22 year-old hipster.” Nothing is cohesive or flattering, IMO.

  • Jecca2244

    i love it when you feature her. i can feel the LA sunshine on my face lol. that placement of the Wu bag in the first image is THE tutorial on how to do it.

    wait, as in a real lifestyle company?

  • Kelly

    Criminy. Enough with the celeb “lifestyle” brands. Like we needed *any* celebrity “lifestyle” companies, let alone another. I refuse to buy any of it just on principle. When stars live anything like a regular person’s life on a regular person’s budget with a regular person’s access to fitness trainers, etc., maybe then they can justify such a project. Otherwise, it’s just unabashed money-grubbing from people who are already millionaires and who seek to make even *more* money by bilking the working woman, and I refuse to support it. And I hate this jacket; it’s too Junior-League for words, and the sunglasses are silly. And get off my lawn.