Pairs Division: Jones and Hendricks

Posted on March 21, 2012

Mad Ladies on a rampage!

You couldn’t ask for two more different styles in one picture. Check it:

January Jones and Christina Hendricks attend the TimesTalk: A Conversation with the Cast of “Mad Men” in NYC.

Starting from the left:

SHE: Is serving up primo bitchface and we love it. We almost don’t recognize her when she smiles. And if ever there was an outfit that practically required primo bitchface, this would be it. Pretty much love everything from tip to toe. Hair and makeup look fabulous and she’s probably one of the few ladystars who can pull of those pants. A sexychic look. Score: 9.5/10.

SHE: Is making us weep. Actually, you know what? We’re done with stressing out over her choices. Girl is defiantly determined not to learn how to dress herself and we wash our hands of the whole thing. See what you’ve done, Christina? We don’t hate this, though. The silhouette’s perfect for her. And her hair is really pretty. We think she could’ve gone for some more dramatic eye makeup, but for the most part, the face is okay too. It’s that neckline. It’s ALWAYS the neckline with her. Yes, they’re big, but big-boobed gals the world over have managed to figure out how to dress their assets and there’s no excuse why she can’t. Super-high necklines don’t work on her any better than super-low ones do. Everybody says this about her, but we just don’t understand why she can’t look to Joan Holloway for some guidance. Joan’s necklines are always smack in the middle, exactly where they should be. Score: 5/10. Tsk.

Combined score: 7.25/10. Christina, turn to January and thank her for doing all the heavy lifting here.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • Ms_Flyover

    Wow – couldn’t disagree more about JJ.  Don’t like this look AT ALL.

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      I agree – I dislike JJ’s look, particularly the pants, and really like Christina’s dress, hair and makeup.

    • BrooklynBomber

      I’m sick of the skin tight form-fitting pants look. She’s as fat free as they come and they’re not even flattering on her. I like the jacket, though.

      • Carla_Charlton

        Those pants just don’t seem to fit correctly — something about the seam up the lower belly area looks wrong.

    • miagain

      Could not agree more… all I could think of was Ross in the bathroom with baby powder and/or vaseline…
      ENUFFFF of these skin tight pants… 

      • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

        HAHAHAHA!  Thanks for that classic moment reminder! 

    • rketeckt

      Even a great bitchface can’t save that outfit.  And Christina…seriously…have Ms. Janie Bryant come over for a loooong girls’ weekend, let her throw out your ALL of your clothes and show you how to dress those marvelous curves.  You deserve it, honey.

    • MissMariRose

      Agreed. She tries so hard to pull off these tough-girl looks and it. just. doesn’t. work. She’s not that kinda gal.

    • Ditto.  They BOTH look terrible.  Christina’s look is too black, too uptight.  January’s pants are too shiny, too tight, and the color is terrible for her.

    • Ditto.  They BOTH look terrible.  Christina’s look is too black, too uptight.  January’s pants are too shiny, too tight, and the color is terrible for her.

  • Maluca

    It pains me so much that Christina is SO gorgeous, yet cannot dress herself (or her “real” life stylist cannot dress her) to save her life. 

  • Joan always has these lovely, boatneck tops that show off her figure beautifully – CHRISTINA, Y U NO WEAR THAT?

    January looks like a bitch and three quarters. I can’t even look at her without wanting to smack her.

  • fringebenefit

    Aree with Ms. Flyover! Don’t like this look AT ALL. Severe–in a highly unattractive way. Hate the bunching around the legs. 

  • Judy_J

    JJ looks great.  Christina….what can I say?  My only thought is that she is determined to NOT look like Joan when she doesn’t have to, even though looking like Joan is precicely what she ought to do.  Well, maybe not look exactly like Joan, but at least take her fashion cues from Joan, ’cause when she’s in character, she is a stunningly beautiful woman.

  • kcarb1025

    So bad. SO BAD.

  • Ugh.  Sorry I hate everything about this.  JJ’s hair is… I don’t know.  I think it is possible to serve up too much bitchiness.  If it’s just bitch without some fierce in there, then it’s just no fun at all.  RE: CH – Like you guys, I’m starting to feel silly posting the same reaction to her over and over.  So I guess I’m done too! 


  • DeborahLipp

    They are wearing identical shoes. I was there–you can’t tell the shoes apart. 

  • hmm, i kind of like christina’s look here. it’s very witchy librarian and i’m feeling it.

    also, not sure how i feel about the idea that no one must every break the “rules” for how their body types “should” dress. i mean, sure, fine, in general big busted ladies look good with some skin breaking up the area between neck and nipple … but seriously? she looks great here. she’s got on good undergarments, the dress has a great shape, and i think she looks pretty.

    that is all.

    • alyce1213

      Agreed.  She looks fine, underrated at 7.5.  I’d have given her 8.5, at least.
      Her shoes are maybe a drop clunky, and I can’t tell if she’s barelegged or wearing very sheer neutral stockings, but IMO her legs are a little too white for this dress.  I don’t mean obvious fake tan or dark hose, which would make this dress sad, just 1/2 shade or so her legs don’t glow in the dark, like mine do (red hair = white legs).

  • Zaftiguana

    Jesus Christ, Christina. V neck. Scoop neck. Boat neck. Wrap. You have so many options as long as you don’t take them all the way down past your sternum. Why do you keep doing this, m’ijita? Are you fucking kidding me with this mock turtleneck shit?

    • librarygrrl64

      Holla! As a large-busted woman, I want to smack some sense into her. Why, Christina, why????

  • hughman

    Best. L-Word Premiere. Ever. 

  • She should hire Octavia Spenser’s stylists. She is not a big girl at all, but she needs outfits that have more of a give an take structuring. Am I making sense?

  • Cathy S

    I hate those pants, but I think January looks fabulous from the waist up. The high neck on Christina’s dress is terrible, but the rest looks good.

  • pretty sure it’s C’s bra that is doing all the heavy lifting here.  bam!

  • Seriously, big-boobed girls can’t wear turtlenecks. Also, I would’ve loved a big statement belt (with some color!) to break up the column of black and help distract from her boobs by drawing attention to her tiny little waist. DAMMIT CHRISTINA, YOU’RE SO GORGEOUS YET KEEP RUINING IT WITH YOUR RIDICULOUS TASTE IN CLOTHING.

    January looks fabulous. WERQ.

    • medium boobed girls can’t even wear turtlenecks with out them looking like big boobs. Although honestly turtlenecks are best for grandmas and people who have given up.

  • marilyn

    Their faces are too pale for all that black.  Maybe they need blood transfusions. 

  • MilaXX

    I don’t love January’s look as much as you guys. I’d give it a 7, 7.5 top. Christina just makes me headdesk. Add a (not too low) scoop neck & swap out the red lip for a neutral shade and play up those gorgeous eyes. 5 seems fair. My combined score for these two would be 6.25/10

  • beebee10

    I cannot even see CH’s dress, the black just obscures the whole thing. But I like how you say you are tired of giving her the same critique. I just love CH and love Joan so I just can’t anymore either…..i can’t!! You are drop dead gorgeous CH so just enjoy yourself.

    Interesting look from JJ, not my taste but 
    i know she likes this type of look so good for her.

  • Anna Maria Diamanti

    As awful as Christina’s clothes usually are, it’s her hair and makeup that are always the most exasperating. That’s not her natural hair color and, frankly, she can’t pull it off when left to her own devices. If you’re going to go with such a striking and unusual and not natural shade, you have to be really careful about style and coloring. She usually looks sickly pale with clownish makeup because she doesn’t know how to make that hair color work for her. And it’s always frizzy and looks dye-fried.

  • Violina23

    Christina looks like she’s wearing a ninja-themed figure skating dress. 

  • I’m afraid January is one of those actresses I can’t view objectively.  She makes me irrationally cranky, and I can’t stand the camel toe on display here. 

    And what an unfortunate look for Christina.  I’ve never understood how you can go so wrong with such a stunning face and incredible body. 

    • malvernite

       ditto re January Jones. she spoiled that movie she did with Liam Neeson for me. i became infuriated every time she appeared onscreen.

      • melizer

        ha ha yes!  I couldn’t believe that passed for “acting”!  And they keep giving her roles!

    •  Camel toe! Exactly! I was surprised no one mentioned it.

  • holdmewhileimnaked

    it’s not the neckline, her neck’s long enough that she could wear it. it’s not the best but it isnt the very worst of worstesses either.
    it’s that she’s not wearing a girdle [which is what i imagine they have her wear on mad men, for realism’s sake] & she’s put on, i dont know, thirty pounds? i dont know how much exactly cos i’m shorter but i know what i look like when i gain a lot of weight & it’s right there in, um, black & um, black. w/ lipstick. & dyed hair. etc & ect, i know the drill cos i also own it. i do not fault her for any of this, btw, it’s just an honest thing to do & if one is prone to it, it just happens sometimes. but wow, if the girdle will do that much good on anyone it’s time to stay away from spanx. actually, it probably always was. just the name alone tells you that.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Why is it that Christina Hendricks never knows the middling cleavage between turtleneck and babyheads galore?

    I will never understand why the overlords like January Jones. Bitchface or no, this outfit belongs on Rooney Mara, not Betty Draper.

  • TieDye64

    I’m going to have to disagree with you guys. I am so NOT digging Ms. Jone’s getup. I guess the jacket is fine. I am totally with you on Christina, though. 
    She finally wore me down. I am so over how she looks outside of Mad Men. The only negative thing about the show returning is we’ll be seeing her everywhere and the thought makes me cringe. Way to waste your good looks, honey!

    I give them each a 5/10.

  • dress_up_doll

    How is it possible that those leather pants on JJ are making her look, dare I say, “hippy and a bit on the thick side”?”

    •  Whhaaaa? She looks like a size 0 in that picture. I see no hips on JJ whatsoever.

  • Why is she hiding her hand in her pocket? Did she get a bad manicure?

  • It’s not just the neckline, which, as a big-boobed girl, I agree is disastrous.  As a soft curvy girl she needs STRUCTURE otherwise she just  looks like an exploding pillow. Change the skirt on that dress to a tight pencil, give her a long statement necklace to create a downward pointing v and break up the chest area and it would work really well.  Except not in black.  Her colouring is far too pale for black.

    I also don’t think back is Ms Jones’ colour either.  Certainly not enough to get her a 9.5..

    •  You just described the style of Joan Holloway, proving TLO’s point. INDEED! (I think a boatneck would look better, too.)

  • Sara__B

    I don’t like everything. I can’t come up with one nice thing to say about either woman, from hair to shoes, except they’re both beautiful despite their clothing, hair, and makeup choices.

    •  That’s actually a very nice thing to say! 🙂

  • kimmeister

    CH’s lipstick – no!

  • alyce1213

    You scored JJ too high and CH too low.
    8.0 and 8.5 IMO.

  • I just love the way January dresses. I know that sometimes she gets a little too edgy for her own good but I love this look on her. She looks fantastic. And yeah, Christina, sigh…

  • Magatha

    Does anyone know of a site that photoshops heads and outfits together – but *not in a mean way* – helpfully showing the subject wearing what he or she should be wearing if there were only a merciful God? I do not have the software or the skillz, but I would so love to dress up both CH and Miss Rumer Willis, and tweak their hair and make-up. They’d look fabulous (pending a T&L okay first).

    How many of y’all saw Christina in Firefly? I loved her sandy, more blonde than strawberry-blonde blonde hair.

    • girliecue

      I saw that episode! My jaw dropped to my knees. I loved her hair too. And it says something that the flour sack she wore was more flattering than most of her RC choices.

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      i have the software & the very maddest of skillz, as they say, & i would know at least how to dress christina hendricks. if, as above, there were one but merciful [or several, they neednt be omniscient or immortal, either] i would be beyond thrilled of thrilled to take this on as employment.

      sign me,
      ever hopeful [haha & hahaHA]

      • Magatha

        Excellent. Get dressed and I will hold you (after you present us with a fabulous Christina). Alas, I cannot pay you. But don’t you kinda want to build your portfolio? This could be a career-making moment. Everyone here could add a helpful comment to your resume.

  • granddelusion

    Not perfect, but nice to see Hendricks covered up and not smirking. For a change. However, I hate the way she ALWAYS poses with her left leg and foot like that.

  • bellafigura1

    January Jones ruins clothes with the bitchface.  Sorry, I’m not expecting perky, but come on.  Figure out a face that doesn’t depress me!  Christina Hendricks … I’m with you, over it. 

  • ccm800

    Why do celebs dress in little dresses all winter long but now that HEat is everywhere they look like they’re Fall semester freshman, WTH? 

  • If I were January I’d take one look at my crotch in those pants and go ‘NOPE.’ 

  • Kayceed

    I think they both look rather drab.

  • surfergirl70

    totally agree with this assessment.  JJ can pull this look off, and does.  And as a fellow big-boobed girl, I want to shake Christina Hendricks by the shoulders and tell her to stop wearing necklines like that.  A nice moderate V-neck or scoop neck and 3/4 sleeves would clean this look right up (plus about an inch and a half of hem). 

  • gloria

    I don’t like being judgemental about the way Miss Hendricks dresses, as far as I’m concerned, she can dress like he wants, though I agree that the “Joan” look suits her wonderfully… She may dress otherwise for Verfremdungseffekt’s sake or she might just be tired of being referred to as “Joan” (self-respecting actors & actresses aspire to get known for more than *one* role).

  • Lizzie Stewart

    What? Joan wears high necklines and scarves and things around her neck and they look good. She looks good. JJ’s pants are gross.

  • I don’t care for either look. Christina Hendricks looks so amazing in colors, so I don’t really understand why she defaults to black so often, but even if she does want to rock a black dress… that is a lot of black. The high collar and long sleeves are just overwhelming, boob issues aside.

  • NurseEllen

    Gawdawmighty, I think they both look bad–so bad, I don’t even know where to begin.  The other day, when a PUF suggested we come up with words for BHDF (Betty Hufstader Draper Francis), I thought it was a great idea.  Let me use it to suggest how I feel about her outfit here: Braless, Hairless, Dull, & Fugly. 

  • DCSheehan

    No points off Jones for hand in pocket? If she was a guy…

  • EditKitten

    I’m totally in love with JJ’s look here — then I saw the comments! Dayum. You’ve apparently polarized the commentariat, TLo. 🙂

  • oh come on. Us big chested girls should know by now that turtlenecks are a no.

    • cluecat

      F* that.  32DDD here, I have three or four turtlenecks that I wear (with a minimizer bra) in the winter when it’s below 20F and I love the way they look.  They’re great for taking the focus away from my boobs, too.  IMO turtlenecks are more flattering for a large chest than crew necks, but, that’s just me I guess.

      CH problem is that she’s wearing the wrong undergarment – what appears to be a push-up bra.  A turtleneck requires a different kind of support!  Also, she’s wearing a “mock” turtle which doesn’t look good on anyone.  

  • donnaINseattle

    How can you tell if the silouette is good on CH? She is just a blob of black.

  • Christina’s dress is frumpy.  It just is.  It frumped its way onto her body and did a frump job on her figure, accentuating nothing and downplaying everything except her bustline.  It’s the sort of thing a nun would wear to be scandalous: ie a habit with 3 feet off the hem.  The shape does nothing for her, the black is so dense that it sucks in the light and highlights nothing.  It’s frumpy and unpleasant.  It’s frumpresant.

    I would have given her a 4/10, because I think the dress actually sucks the hair and red lip into its frumpy misery, right into 90s-16-year-old-goth territory.  I remember that dress.  I threw it out when the 90s were over.

  • BuffaloBarbara

    Yeah, the high collar on busty women always makes us look like we’ve put a couple of melons in a cinch-sak.

  • girliecue

    Oh, Christina! I’m just relieved she didn’t try to wear JJ’s outfit. As for January, the outfit’s fine but I hate her hair and makeup.

  • girliecue

    Oh, Christina! I’m just relieved she didn’t try to wear JJ’s outfit. As for January, the outfit’s fine but I hate her hair and makeup.

  • msdamselfly

    I think JJ looks harsh and unattractive

  • SapphoPoet

    I don’t like either outfit. I don’t know anything about these women, either personally or professionally (somehow, I have escaped the Mad Men vortex) but they both look cruel. 

  • I love Christina, but that dress make her look huge, when we all know she isn’t. 5/10 was a gift.

  • andi56

    Well, no. JJ’s pants are gapping at the zipper, and they’re sloppy. The blouse doesn’t work with the jacket, and she could have made an effort; it wouldn’t kill her. 

  • Beth G

    January always looks like one of the girls from a Robert Plant video.

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      robert plant? do they really look like that now? loaf o’ bread heads & lack o’ personality? o the times, have they changed.

  • DominoEstella

    but Christina is just so much more beautiful than the other.. and who wants to look at a bitchface anyway.  Jones is the most average looking actress I’ve seen in ages.  

  • crash1212

    God. I hate everything about both of these outfits. GAH! I can’t even think of anything witty to say – I’m silenced by the hideousity of it all. I’m going back to DVF purses now to take the ugly out of my mind.

  • Magatha

    Dear baby jeebus, January Jones gets the hate, doesn’t she? I’m not exactly sure why. Katherine Heigl seems to inspire the same sort of intensity. I’m trying to think of other actresses or models in similar situations. I mean, I’m astonishingly bored by Angelina Jolie, but I think that is my own impatience, not any fault of hers.

    You know what would cure the January Jones hate? A recurring guest role in Firefly! Whee!

    Oh wait. Firefly got canceled years ago. Damn. I’ll be in my bunk.

  • formerlyAnon

    Ms. Jones comes in as “pretty good” for me – but since I am not a huge fan of leather pants, in part because they so often emphasize weird pulling & wrinkling as appears here in her crotch, but mostly because I’d have loved her outfit with slacks rather than leather jeggings. 8/10.

    Ms. Hendricks is doing so much right. She’d have pulled this one off with the right big necklace and/or something to show off her small waist. (“Show off,” not “cinch in until you create the illusion of pudginess”). 7/10, and I can’t decide if I’m being too censorious or too generous.

    Combined score 7.5/10, honors to Ms. Jones.

  • librarygrrl64

    You really like the hair?!? On BOTH of them?!? I couldn’t get past the hair. Seriously. Bleh.

  • cleep1000

    J.J. looks so much better when she smiles! Christina’s face looks fresh and lovely. But it’s another turtle neck! The absolute wrong thing for her to wear. If she’s so conflicted about her boobs, maybe she should have a reduction. Seriously. She obviously can’t dress appropriately for them. Cut ’em off! (I can hear all the straight guys booing. Wait. Do any straight guys read these posts/comments?)

  • fwooper

    Uh oh TLo, don’t you know that you’re supposed to hate January Jones at all times and never, ever praise her, even when she looks really great? 

  • Damien W

    I can’t sing harmony over JJ’s pants — I’m seeing some classic MK Insane Crotch™ going on. She looks like a Lara Flynn Boyle impersonator, category: Vanderbilt S&M Realness.

  • GODDAMMIT CHRISTINA HENDRICKS. Why? WHY? From one D-cup to another – get a fucking scoopneck dress. 

  • The issue with these black frocks is in photos its hard to even see what the dress looks like.  It just looks like a black blob, and a horrible one at that.  I can’t stand JJ pants all scrunched up, actually I hate the pants full stop.  I don’t even want to know what it took to get the damn things one. Pretty faces though ladies.  That I can’t deny you. 

  • AngelaGreen

    TLo neglected to mention that my beloved Christina apparently borrowed this dress from the racks of a US Nationals Figure Skating rack.  Adore her, but no.

  • MoHub

    Trinny and Susannah are weeping over Christina’s neckline. High necklines make generously appointed women look as if they have the sags.

    • Jessica Goldstein

      Yup. She needs a wide scoop neck. I think of Trinny and Susannah often…

      • MoHub

        Yep. Stacie and Clinton just aren’t in the same league.

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    Combined score of 4.0! Sorry, Ladies.

  • oohsparkley!

    I agree with Tlo on this one (these two).

  • JDreesen

    my husband just walked in, saw Hendricks’ getup on my computer screen, and – without pause – muttered, “why can’t she just wear what her character on Mad Men wears?” before shuffling back out of the room.

  • fashionablylate

    I’m fine with JJ’s gear, it’s her hair I can’t stand – she looks awful with it pulled back like that! It just doesn’t work here at all.

  • This really does seem to be “Look B” for Christina Hendricks – either she’s got so much cleavage that she’s practically strangling herself or she’s going with this “See, I’ve got Boobs of Doom(tm) but this turtleneck is my signal that I’m not a slut.” Christina, Honey, we KNOW you are not a slut. That dress would have been fine if you’d taken it to the dressmaker and told them to take off the band and put you into a scoop that goes down 3-4″ from the base of your neck. Shoot, if you gave me a ring, I’d have done it for you for NOTHING. You have a lovely neck and shoulder line – it’s not as if you have an either/or decision (boobs out and neck and shoulders exposed OR everything covered up to the chin line) here and it’s not as if dresses have not been modified to suit the wearers in a more flattering way. My two cents.

  • bluefish

    Oy — January’s pants are a definite OUT.  Waist up okey dokey … And I’ve come to the sad sad conclusion that for whatever reason — maybe because she just don’t really care — CH is never ever going to get it right.  The costumers at MadMen cannot be paid enough.

  • JJ looks like Kristy Swanson when she smiles. I keep waiting for her to stake a vampire.

  • aristida_girl

    I agree with TLO, I like January Jones look very much, but am unsure if I could rock in with a Christina Hendricks body type…what does the comentariat think? ( I would definitely wear an undershirt and try to find a v-neck blouse, but otherwise leave things alone..)

  • oh honey!