2011 FiFi Awards

Posted on May 26, 2011

Darlings, the stars came out last night to attend the 2011 FiFi Awards at Damrosch Park, Lincoln Center in New York City. What the hell are the FiFi Awards? How the hell should we know?  Come judge with us.

Fergie in BCBG Max Azria Atelier

If we were handing out report cards (and we hope someday to build our bitchy empire to the point where we will be required to stand at the end of every red carpet openly scoring the participants), then we would write a note that says “Shows marked improvement.” Our only real issue is the way this fits her bust. That is to say, it doesn’t.

Halle Berry in Halston Spring 2011

Oh, Halle Bear, no. We were so hoping this wasn’t the route you were going to go heading in to your late 40s, but it appears that, yes, “I’m still totally fuckable” is the message you want to send with your clothes. And it’s true, you ARE totally fuckable. But when the dresses get tighter and the cutouts more revealing, the message slowly turns from “I’m still fuckable” to “I DESPERATELY NEED you to think I’m still fuckable.” And honey? That’s not fabulous.

Mary J. Blige

Oh Mary J. Blige we love you get up. Thank God there’s someone out there who knows what a diva is and how she’s supposed to look.

Paz de la Huerta

Her secondary sexual characteristics are firmly in place and behind closed doors; she looks to have bathed in the past week; and she didn’t opt for Hershey’s syrup as a lip gloss, so we can’t get all that upset that she doesn’t know what a hairbrush is. Baby steps.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage, style.com]

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