We’re afraid we cannot “meh” this episode hard enough, but instead of running through the same litany of complaints (summed up: the franchise is beyond stale and is going through the motions), we’ll just cut to the results of the challenges. The show simply doesn’t give us anything else to talk about.
Cute, but not particularly illuminating. Kween won this one, largely because she’s the shadiest bitch in the group.
The remaining queens were brought back for the family drag challenge, which effectively rendered the challenge meaningless. When you have to turn straight guys, or women, or just random civilians who’ve never done a tuck into drag queens, it’s always an illuminating and usually fairly emotional challenge. When drag queens are painting other drag queens, there’s simply nothing to it. No one needed to be convinced to shave, or tuck, or be taught how to walk in heels. No one needed to have drag explained to them.
The whole challenge was so poorly conceived that it makes us wonder (not for the first time) if the producers of Drag Race have any understanding of why the show was a success in the first place.
Kween Kong assigned herself Soa de Muse and gave her the makeover she needed, dubbing her Pri-nene Kong.
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The costumes are great, the resemblance is obvious and we don’t think we realized until this episode how good Kween’s makeup is. Soa never looked better.
Alyssa was assigned Eva La Queen, who she redubbed Eva Edwards. We love a bitch who doesn’t over-complicate things.
The costumes and wigs are fantastic. Alyssa’s a good makeup artist, but Eva doesn’t look all that transformed to us.
Kitty got assigned Miranda Lebrao who got renamed Puppy Scott Paws.
We’re so glad the judges called this out for the lazy, drag brunch drag this is. Their facial structures are so vastly different that a true resemblance was never going to happen, but our issue with Miranda’s face is how little it actually flatters or suits her. Kitty should’ve figured out a way to alter her own beat in order to meet Miranda halfway somehow. We also thought she should have made puppy and kitty ears, just to help sell the concept a little more.
Nehellenia was assigned Pythia, who she renamed Zirconia. The costumes are not only gorgeous, they’re so overwhelming that an actual facial resemblance almost wasn’t required.
But Nehellenia did something all of the other queens failed to do: she transformed her queen. Pythia’s a great drag queen, but we’ve never seen that face on her before and if you held up a picture and asked us to guess which queen it was, we’re not sure we’d have gotten it right on the first try. Kween was being a right bitch in the Werk Room when she came for Nehellenia. Admittedly, if you peer, you can see how Pythias’s beard isn’t as well-camouflaged as it should be (the whole bottom half of her face is yellow) and that’s a valid technical critique, but it’s so very clearly not a deal-breaker when it comes to rating the success of this effort.
Tessa got Athena Likis and redubbed her Athena Breasticle. The Dr. Frankenstein angle was cute, but she never took it as far as it needed to go.
Nothing about Athena’s look says “bride of Frankenstein” except the white in her hair. There’s a pretty clear facial resemblance there, but she might have put a scar or two on Athena’s face to sell the story she was trying to tell.
Vanity got assigned Gala, redubbed her Insanity Vain and did something we would have thought impossible: made her body look dumpy.
Again, with a challenge like this one, instead of shoving another queen into your drag, the smarter move would have been to alter your drag enough to accomodate the new partner. Gala is a body queen. Covering all of that up is just tamping down on what makes her good. Vanity should have considered something a little skimpier for both of them, expecially because these costumes look pretty sloppy to us. The makeup is also awful.
Nehellenia won this handily. Kween was just being a sour bitch. Sure, we could see how she might have thought she was more deserving, but trashing someone for being in the top while you’re also in the top – especially if that person hasn’t won before and you have – is a shitty way to act.
Vanity and Kitty were both in the bottom and they both deserved to be there. Let’s face it: we all knew how this was going to shake out before the music even started. Kitty pulled out a microphone and Ru fell to pieces laughing over this minor (and previously done) bit, so Vanity could’ve done a drop from the ceiling and she still wouldn’t have won it.
We can’t say this is some sort of travesty, given how bad her efforts were this week (WHAT is that thing tied around her neck?!?), but we give her a lot of credit for fighting like hell to stay in this competition for as long as she could.
Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold! It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.
[Photo Credit: Paramount Plus via Tom and Lorenzo, World of Wonder Productions, Inc./Paramount+]
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