RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE ALL STARS: The Letter “L”

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Well this blows. But before we get to the outcome…

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An interlude. Okay, with that out of the way, let’s talk about Kandy.

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We’ll get to all of the other stuff that happened in this unexpectedly stacked episode, but it’s clearly time to talk about All-Stars season 8’s most talked-about girl. First, let’s note that the often-asked question of “Why is Ru so obsessed with Kandy Muse this season?” is answered at least partially by the fact that no one can stop talking about her, even if it’s just to mention how much they can’t stand her. In reality TV, that’s star quality, like it or not. Second, we’ve been covering Ru for long enough to state with some confidence that she has a special fondness for rough queens who can serve glamour but still sound like a plumber when they open their mouths. Call it the Vanjie Effect. She can be a bit of a bully and she’s clearly not very trustworthy when it comes to alliances, but honestly, she’s far from the worst villain we’ve ever seen on Drag Race – or any other reality competition.

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As for her drag, she can be very self-limiting in her reliance on body suits, but her technical skills are high level and on the few occasions where she breaks out a dress or a character costume, you can really see how good she can be. She’s occasionally funny in sketches and she’s been giving the vocal and choreo challenges her all. What we’re trying to say here is that Kandy never really bugged us the way she seems to bug some fans and we always assumed she’d be in the final three, barring any shenanigans or fuckups. Well the shenanigans and fuckups arrived on schedule, but they broke her way, leaving a finale that seems designed to rile up the fandom as much as possible. Come with us on a journey of recapping, to see how it all unfolded…

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Things kicked off with a surprisingly fun mini-challenge that forces us once again to wail to the heavens “WHY CAN’T WE HAVE MORE MINI-CHALLENGES?” They remain the most fun parts of any episode that features them, partially because the queens aren’t prepared for them like they are for the main challenges.

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In fact, we’d go so far as to suggest that, not only should every episode have a mini-challenge, but they should devote one episode per season to nothing but a series of mini-challenges, like a drag Olympics.

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We were impressed by how good everyone’s quick drag was for this one, but Jessica’s was the best of the lot.

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Anyway, the show opened our book to chapter nine and paraphrased it for this week’s challenge, which was an unexpected return of the family makeover challenge. There tend to be a few more queens standing when they break this one out. The Werk Room felt strangely empty through the whole thing, although the three lesbians they brought in were great at establishing a rapport with their respective queens.

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Each queen seemed to get matched up with the best lady for her and the interactions were stress-free and fun to watch, as they sat around and talked through their feelings about masculinity, femininity, and the reclaiming of slurs. The show is always at its best with this challenge.

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Jessica and Kitty Wild came out in a Gaga homage that suited them both pretty well. Kitty wasn’t the most natural at walking or performing, but Jessica did the best makeup job of the week on her face. They had to justify their choices for putting the two top all-stars of the season on the bottom this week, so they focused on nitpicks like Kitty’s boots.

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Her detractors might be pissed that she slid into the finals on a win, but we really can’t see how she didn’t deserve it. The looks were very cute and well coordinated. The family resemblance was pretty well rendered and Kookie Muse gave the best performance. As Michelle noted, you could see she was working her way through it, but that’s what made all of the vamping and cutesy-poo stuff so effective.

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Similar to the nitpicking of Kitty Wild’s footwear, the judges had to pretend like there was something wrong with these dresses. They might not be as campy as Kandy’s costumes or as dramatic as Jessica’s, but they seemed fine to us for the task at hand. Jimbo did a lovely job of paying attention to Sissy Delicious’s needs and toning down the clownery for her. He still managed to paint her up to resemble him while keeping the look glamorous enough for her. We thought he did a really admirable job of threading the needle.

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So they made the bottom two queens go through the motions of picking each other, which seemed not only pointless, but a little mean-spirited. Priyanka from Canada’s Drag Race came out to wow Mama Ru and did so, with a pretty fantastic lip sync that beat out Kandy’s handily, mainly because Priyanka remembered to do something fewer and fewer queens seem to care about when it comes to the lip sync: she kept her face on the judges as much as possible so they could actually see the lip syncing. Sometimes there’s so much hair-flipping and back-flipping going on that it feels like the actual art of lip syncing isn’t really being highlighted as much as it once was.

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Anyway, Kandy did what a bitch had to do and eliminated one of the main frontrunners of the season, which really sucks. For our tastes, this season always came down to a Jimbo win, although Jessica was always our “We’d be fine if she won it” backup choice. But as much as we might want to defend Kandy from some of the over-the-top hate the fandom throws at her sometimes, we’ll be pissed if she wins this season.

Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of 2020 by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold!

[Photo Credit: Paramount Plus via Tom and Lorenzo]

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