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“Pirates of the Caribbean” Premiere

Posted on May 09, 2011

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Darlings, two stars came out for the “Pirates of the Caribbean XIX: More Piratey!” movie premiere at Disneyland! Plus a bunch of contractually obligated D-listers showed up too! And Jodie Foster stopped by in between errands! Let’s point and laugh.

 

PinPenelope Cruz in Marchesa

Although really, that caption should read “Penelope Cruz in every dress she’s worn in public since 2003,” which would be fitting, because…

 

Pin…Here’s Johnny in every outfit he’s worn since 1998.

 

 

 

 

[tabs slidertype=”images”] [imagetab width=”404″ height=”594″]http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Penelope+Cruz+3.jpg[/imagetab] [imagetab width=”404″ height=”594″]http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Penelope+Cruz+4.jpg[/imagetab] [imagetab width=”404″ height=”594″]http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Penelope+Cruz+5.jpg[/imagetab] [imagetab width=”404″ height=”594″]http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Johnny+Depp+2.jpg[/imagetab] [imagetab width=”404″ height=”594″]http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Johnny+Depp+3.jpg[/imagetab] [/tabs]
 

 

Feh. You bore us, superstars. We refuse to spend any more time on you. The desperate attention-whores are where it’s at.

 

 

PinAshley Benson in Alice+Olivia

The bodice is kind of interesting, but that shapeless feather duster of a skirt is a no. Especially since it looks like the lining is hanging out.

 

 

PinJodie Foster

The look on her face pretty much screams “Fuck, I just wanted to take the kids out for fun. Nobody said anything about pictures.” Cool Chucks, girl.

 

 

PinChelsea Kane in Nicole Miller

Kind of a cute/interesting dress. Shoes are a bit bridesmaid-y, but it’s a good look. Might’ve been improved by a belt.

 

 

PinEliza Dushku in Betsey Johnson

Geez, when did she become so generic? We didn’t recognize her at first. Is it us, or does this look have a slightly juvenile feel to it?

 

 

PinEmma Roberts in Stella McCartney

She’s doing a fine job of upholding the family tradition of being totally boring from a fashion sense.

 

 

PinKevin Sorbo

Dude, have a little dignity.

 

 

PinKirstie Alley in Malandrino

Okay, the shoes are all wrong and she’s far from giving good face here, but credit where it’s due: that’s a great dress on her.

 

 

PinSophie Simmons

Sophie was carried to this event rolled up inside a tote bag and then dumped out onto the red carpet mere moments before this picture was taken.

 

 

PinVanessa Hudgens

We think she might be too tiny for this dress. Also, the neutral platform pumps are all wrong for it.

 

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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