Pairs Division: Pitt and Jolie

Posted on May 26, 2011

Angie and Brad showed up at the LA premiere of “The Tree of Life” at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art looking PISSED.

Angelina Jolie is wearing a Jenny Packham gown.

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HE: Looks like a greasy douchebag. Don’t ever let it be said that we mince our words. Take your damn sunglasses off, asshole. We don’t care how bright the flashes are and how much they hurt your widdle retinas. Suck it up. Also, get your hair cut and stop using whatever industrial grade product you’re currently sporting because your head looks like an oil spill. There should be little baby ducks flailing about in there to complete the picture. Also, just because you’re Brad Pitt doesn’t mean you can always get away with the double-unbutton without looking smarmy. He’s just one big EW to us here. His clothes are fine for the most part, but the hair, sunglasses and tielessness are all forming a rather douchey picture. Score: 4/10. We’re probably being a bit harsh, but he’s just setting us off, for some reason.

SHE: Also reeks of skeevy superiority here but we can’t get too mad because ANGIE is wearing a COLOR. That’s HUGE. To be honest, it’s just an okay dress; but such is the power of the Angelina that she can transform “just okay” dresses into stunning looks. We have to gently offer positive reinforcement to our skittish little celebs, especially the ones who are afraid of color. So while we aren’t exactly gobsmacked by the beauty of this garment (and her face looks too shiny and hair looks particularly half-assed), we’re going to be encouraging here. Score: 7/10. Definitely a step in the right direction.

Combined Score: 5.5/10. Angie: continue exploring the rainbow. Also blot your face and do something with your hair. Brad: haircut, tie, no product, no sunglasses. You know, it’s really not hard, you two. You both wake up with those faces every day. When that’s your starting point, there’s no excuse for not looking exquisite when you’re supposed to. Shame on you both. We’re wagging our fingers sternly.


[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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