Charlize Theron in Stella McCartney at the “A Million Ways to Die in the West” London Photocall

Posted on May 29, 2014

For God’s sake, woman. Put some effort in. You look like you put your shoes and makeup on while driving over here.

 

Charlize-Theron-Stella-McCartney-A-Million-Ways-To-Die-Photocall-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Charlize Theron attends photocall for “A Million Ways to Die in the West” Photocall at Claridges Hotel in London in a Stella McCartney dress.

Charlize-Theron-Stella-McCartney-A-Million-Ways-To-Die-Photocall-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Charlize-Theron-Stella-McCartney-A-Million-Ways-To-Die-Photocall-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Charlize-Theron-Stella-McCartney-A-Million-Ways-To-Die-Photocall-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Charlize-Theron-Stella-McCartney-A-Million-Ways-To-Die-Photocall-London-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Everything in these pictures reads as “I don’t care about this project at all.” We thought Angelina was bad about resting on pretty, but this is Brad Pitt levels of not caring.

Charlize, honey. We know you hate the poledance, but actively working against it does no one any good. Not you, with your movies to promote and not us, with our claw-sharpening bitchery. Give us something to work with, sweetie. This is so dull and shapeless. We’d take a killer pair of jeans and an ironic t -shirt over this schmatta. And we don’t know who talked you into the Caroline Ingalls hair, but you should slap them, long and hard.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: ACE/INFphoto.com, Getty Images]

    • Sarah

      I like the shoes. I also enjoy sleeping in a t-shirt like that, which belongs to my XXL fiance.

      • kimmeister

        A modest kitten heel, imagine that!

        • eandh99

          Well, otherwise she would tower over Amanda Seyfried, who was in this photocall with her.

          • PastryGoddess

            I saw them in a picture together. The kitten heel didn’t help. She was still 6 inches taller than Seyfried.

      • sugarkane105

        And we all know this t-shirt does not belong to Sean Penn, as then it wouldn’t even cover her nether regions.

        • Sarah

          So true. She’s a T-Shirt Cheater! It’s got a subtle reptile print, I think. International Male T-Shirt Cheater!

      • Pablo Ulloa

        lovely shoes, and yes that’s a dull and shapeless XXL t-shirt… but she looks great in it … i hate her for that hahaha <3<3<3

    • Introspective

      she phoned this one in. painfully obvious. i wonder what the hell is that bruise on her inner left thigh about? could this entire look be some jbf realness?

      • Skippymom1

        It doesn’t so much look like a bruise as is reddish pink. I was thinking [after I scrolled back and looked super hard to find the mark] that perhaps she crossed her legs too tightly? Or had been sitting for a long time, legs crossed?

      • fursa_saida

        It screams jbf to me.

    • Sobaika

      This movie looks awful, so I’m crafting my own little mini-saga about how it is terrible and Charlize knows and will put in zero effort for the poledance.

      Or she was just planning on letting her perfect legs do all the work in carrying this look. Whichever.

      • Carleenml

        the fact that she didn’t know it was horrible going into it lessens her goddess status in my mind. as does this t-shirt nonsense.

      • Danielle

        It’s a Seth McFarlane movie, it never stood a chance.

        • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

          Word. He is awful.

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          Hollywood working on the principle that arrested adolescents will show up for any piece of dreck.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        I saw the trailer for this when I saw the second installment of the Hobbit, or some other actiion flick. It did not look promising-more like a chance for Charlize, Liam and a host of actors to make a few $$$.

      • MK03

        I’d still rather see this than Edge of Tomorrow, AKA Post-Apocalyptic Groundhog Day.

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          I’ve still got Godzilla and X-Men ahead of this on my summer movie list.

    • Capt. Renault

      Charlize, wearing just your BF’s t-shirt is indeed sexy, but only to your BF.

      [EDIT: Apologies to Sarah, who beat me to the joke.]

    • bluefish

      Don’t mind the look but hate the hair and the movie looks dreadful.

    • kimmeister

      I like the emerald earrings. That’s all I’ve got.

    • PastryGoddess

      *insert obvious Stella McCartney joke here*

    • Danielle

      Legs fo’ dayz. I love the scalloping on the heels.

    • Yoshio

      I don’t think she has the panache to do a Jolie. You need serious attitude to pull that off, which is why only Jolie can do it right.

    • ShaoLinKitten

      It’s a blah look, but there is no way this is Brad Pitt level bad. I say this as someone who is madly in love with Brad Pitt–that old boy can really bring the pain. This at least looks clean, hair somewhat arranged, legs shaved.

      • CelandineM

        Yes, lazy and just plain bad styling choices but she looks clean and well groomed. There have been a few times Brad looked like he might have fleas.

        • ShaoLinKitten

          I read an interview somewhere with someone (another celebrity?… Googling… Jason Priestley) who said he and Brad would have contests to see who could go longer without showering or shaving, and Brad always won.

          • FrigidDiva

            EWWWW. That is quite possibly the grossest thing I’ve read on the internet today. Especially when Brad had the long hair, can you imagine what was living in there?

            • ShaoLinKitten

              Granted this was back in the 80s, when Jason Priestley was a thing. I imagine Brad just gets really greasy. He has that slightly oily quality to him even under the best of circumstances. Bottom line, Charlize Theron would have to really let herself go to approach Brad at his most epic. And now I’m wondering what it says about me that I still love Brad.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Shoes are cute. That’s all I got.

    • Sara__B

      Movie stars! They’re just like us! (I see women dressed like this at nice restaurants and other date spots all over town.)

    • @Biting Panda

      Meh. Whatever. She’s on my shit list. She recently posed for Uncle Terry. Her tastes in associates officially sucks.

      • alyce1213

        I just don’t get it. Are these supposedly enlightened womenstars completely unaware of his reputation, his history, have they never looked at his pictures? Does it not matter?

      • FrigidDiva

        Really? Now I’m feeling stabby. I thought she was smarter than that.

      • formerlyAnon

        Well, if Penn’s as bad as his past rep, perhaps some defend-against-predatory-broken-men center in her brain has shut down.

    • Charm City

      It looks like there’s an imprint on her left foot from a totally different shoe – maybe she had shoes on that made the look more interesting, but had to switch at the last minute?

      • Janet B

        The other shoes had some heavy lifting to do.

    • Janet B

      This does not begin to approach movie star quality dressing.

    • clatie

      I actually like what she’s wearing. I agree with you on the hair. Love the lip color!

    • SuzyQuzey

      I really like the shoes. They have shorter heels, which someone like me could wear. The rest of it? Meh.

      Anyone know what brand the shoes are? I’m guessing Dior since she’s a brand ambassador.

      • caroline

        They’re Loeffler Randall, the Lillit Scalloped Kitten Heel Sandals. I had been eyeing them and this may have convinced me.

        • SuzyQuzey

          Thanks. I did track them down, but am hesitating on the purchase. So I really need $220 sandals?

    • demidaemon

      Well, it’s been proven. The power of the Charlize cannot overcome everything. I blame it on the fact that she knew she would be wearing a Stella and it would look bad anyway, so why bother to make it look better than it is.

    • flamingoNW

      She needs to take a page from Cate Blanchett. This is a shame…

    • MilaXX

      Dull, dull, and more dull with bad hair to match.

    • Dandesun

      This is the outfit equivalent of a heavy sigh and ‘Whatever.’

    • salty

      The shoes are Loeffler Randall, kittens!

    • semirose

      Eh, for this project? I’ll give her a pass.

    • B_C_J

      It’s pretty apparent she dialed this in especially when you know what she is capable of (Met gala, Oscars).

      • CelandineM

        She totally mesmerizes me in that Dior fragrance commercial she did. I stop to watch it every single time I see it on TV. This look is just so sad.

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          That Dior commercial is so well done-Charlize sells the hell out of that fragrance. That she’s capable of really knocking the fashion ball out of the park gives me the feeling that she’s not doing much to sell this movie-making the rounds, but nothing more than the bare minimum.

    • marlie

      It’s… an oversized t-shirt. That’s it. MEH.

      I like the shoes, though.

    • NMMagpie

      DOW-DEE.

    • KinoEye

      Judging from this and Amanda Seyfried yesterday, no one involved in this project seems to be happy about it. Not a good sign. Then again, it is Seth MacFarlane, who must have one of the most grating senses of humor in the business. Doesn’t surprise me.

    • Denise Rambo

      Maybe she should have stuck with whatever pair of shoes left that strap mark on her foot.

      • FibonacciSequins

        I’m guessing they were flip-flops. At least they might have injected some fun into this ensemble.

    • Wink

      “Caroline Ingalls hair”! The shoes are cute but kinda old for her. Face and legs are gorgeous. Everything in between is meh.

    • Miss Ruth

      She looks embarrassed, and the shoes are giving me A Sad. When she’s not turning on the total wattage, she’s very Princess Sadface here lately.

    • suzq

      Stella strikes again. If a dress ever begged for her signature cutouts, this one is it.

    • FibonacciSequins

      I didn’t know it was possible for Charlize to look bad. And for once, Stella isn’t to blame.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      If it weren’t for THOSE LEGS, I’m not sure I would recognize Charlize in these photos. Good grief!

    • Sophie

      Pretty earrings, from what I can see.

    • titaness25

      Please, Baby Jeebus. Smite whosoever it was that created those shoes. Smite them with all the fury of Good Taste.

      • FrigidDiva

        I’m with you on this one. They don’t even do anything for Charlize Theron, I can’t imagine what they would do to mere mortals.

    • Zuber

      She can do no wrong (except for this shit movie) in my eyes. Love Her!

    • decormaven

      The real Charlize has been kidnapped and a pale imitation has been pushed out to do the poledance for this bomb of a movie.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      This is really giving off the vibe that she thinks the movie is going down the shitter and she isn’t even giving a minimal effort.

    • Call me Bee

      IDK–since it’s not really an RC, I think she looks relaxed and pretty. Love the delicate shoes.

    • Qitkat

      Those are adorable shoes. Finally someone gets the strappy done right.

    • sk8tfan

      Clearly she’s already written off the movie as a complete flop and is killing time before moving on.

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      Schmatta. Hehe.

      • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

        Love the shoes.

    • dschubba

      Zero Fucks Given on the Red Carpet

      She’s putting co-worker’s wedding-level effort into this poledance.

    • Joanne Abrams

      She has same attitude as her boyfriend Sean Penn.

    • http://www.bertkeeter.com Bert Keeter

      Stella needs better anti-depression meds!

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      Is this supposed to be a nod to the “I don’t care if you see it” commercials?

    • Ugonna Wosu

      every other site I”ve been to said she looked good. And Stella’s dresses are usually ugly…

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      I can’t really see any definition in the black on this monitor, so it looks like she’ wearing a fat man’s t-shirt.

    • NBG

      The best thing about this is the use of the word schmatta to describe it.

    • poodle66

      Caroline Ingalls hair!!! Whew, so bitchy. LOL

      The earrings are really pretty. I like colored stones. Diamonds bore me. Amethyst, rubies and emeralds are gorgeous.

    • musi_

      haha in that second last pic, her hair and cheesy grin make her look the biggest dork. I never though I’d say that about Charlize Theron

    • amf0001

      well… her shoes are cute

    • aahlife

      You can see the strap impressions across the top of her foot from the prior shoes she had on. Obviously she just did a quick change in her car.

    • berkeleygirl

      I blame Sean Penn. Before they became a thing, she gave a damn.

    • katiessh

      I don’t care if she looks like she doesn’t give a fuck, she’s beautiful enough to pull it off

    • MissusBee

      Maybe if her hair was slicked back it would make some kind of minimalist statement, with a metallic (but also minimalist and flat/low) shoe, and maybe a cocktail ring with peep of color (like a pop, but smaller).

      I’m not a massive fan of the dress, but if you’re going to go pared-back, you have to nail the details and attitude to make it work. Someone like Rihanna could rock this as her team seem to know how to capture a whole look, while keeping the I-just-threw-this-on aesthetic.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      …and she still manages to look better than 99.999% of people on the planet.

    • MoHub

      And once again, Stella McCartney makes a fortune on a non-design. I’ll bet this one didn’t even need a sketch to construct.

    • GillianHolroyd

      My first thought was that after yoga she was sitting at the hairdressers, about to get a wash and blowout when she remembered she was supposed to be appearing at the premiere so she just jumped up and dashed out in her shampoo robe.

    • BigShamu

      Snort. (TLo said schmatta)

    • Mothra

      When did she turn 65 and lose the pants to that tunic pant suit?

    • onefifteen

      Hate everything but the legs here. Didn’t mind the shoes until I saw it was a kitten heel.

    • conniemd

      I knew this wasn’t going to be good when I read “Charlize Theron in Stella McCartney.”

    • RescueMe23

      Maybe Sean Penn helped put her look together..

    • amaranth16

      I think she did change her shoes on the way over. In the third shot it looks like you can see an imprint on her foot from a different pair of shoes.

    • OhSheila

      She looks like a stretched version of Trudy Monk.

    • ktr33

      This is the picture of “phoning it in.” Put on a giant hoop earring at least. Slick the hair back severely. The shoes are cute, but not for her; something Zoey Deschanel would wear, maybe. Or Miss Schipka! Maybe she changed out of super-high-heels bc she would be standing next to SPenn today.

    • traceyishere

      Effortless…I mean, no effort at all.

    • elemspbee

      But gosh she looks damn fine. why mess with that?
      ok maybe a long hanging necklace, a bangle. Yoga hair could be better.

    • smayper

      I actually like it. The simplicity, with her gorgeous legs and genuine smile…it’s a welcome relief from all the insane over-doneness.

    • Sunraya

      She doesn’t even look like Charlize Theron in some of these pictures! Which makes me think she did do her own makeup. It’s amazing what a good makeup artist can do.

    • formerlyAnon

      I dunno. If she’d worn an interesting and substantial necklace, I think she’d be looking pretty good. The dress is nothing much (at least on this monitor, where all black is just a flat black field), but she’s lovely enough to look good in a nothing-much dress.

    • fringebenefit

      I like it—simple, elegant, understated, classy. She is pulling it off.

    • Amel

      Respect for the low-heeled shoes. Otherwise, this look says “I have great legs, I shouldn’t need to dress up.” I admit I have a hard time arguing with that.

    • Sweetvegan

      “You look like you put your shoes and makeup on while driving over here.” But those are really, really cute shoes!

    • mickiemonkey

      Perfect use of “schmata”. You boys get a tin of matzo brittle for that.

    • Columbinia

      She looks like she grabbed a beach cover up, the shoes that were lying in the hall from last night and put on the first lipstick she could find before hopping in the car to pick up the kids from somewhere. Yet she is still gorgeous.

    • Accademia di Moda

      Charlize is a stunner! We would have loved to see her in something that would define her shape a little more. The simplicity of this outfit is just too much.