Zooey Deschanel on “Good Morning America”

Posted on April 15, 2014

We suspect this is a question that keeps her awake at night, tracing the cracks in the ceiling until she knows them intimately, but JUST WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR LEGS, ZOOEY?

Zooey-Deschanel-Good-Morning-America-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)“The New Girl” star Zooey Deschanel visits ABC studios for an appearance on “Good Morning America” in New York City.

Zooey-Deschanel-Good-Morning-America-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Zooey-Deschanel-Good-Morning-America-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2B)“To Tommy, From Zooey” Diamond Pleat Dress

Zooey-Deschanel-Good-Morning-America-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Zooey-Deschanel-Good-Morning-America-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Zooey-Deschanel-Good-Morning-America-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

We certainly can’t see anything wrong with them, but the way you obsessively cover them up – and the sometimes odd lengths you’ll go to in order to do that (as in this instance) – forces us to conclude that you’ve got some sort of leg issue. Well first, get that shit outta your head, girl. Your legs are fine. Second, we’ll shut the hell up because there’s no way in hell anyone can be talked out of their body issues. That shit takes work. Third, for all we know, it’s just a style preference on your part.

But look, honey: there are better ways than this. If you simply must have your legs covered in some manner, you should find ways to do it so it doesn’t look as awkward as this does. Those tights go neither with that dress nor with those shoes. That seems to be a thing with you. A pair of tights that stick out so much from the rest of the outfit, that your legs are all anyone sees in a picture. Which is ironic, if you really do cover them up because you’re insecure about them.

The dress is cute, although that’s a Sad Sash. And those shoes belong on someone 25 years older than you.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: GG/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, tommy.com]

    • BlairBear

      Well fishnets definitely steal attention

      • Aurumgirl

        I’m not sure those are fishnets. I think they’re supposed to reproduce the whole Lichtenstein “skintone” effect.

        • BlairBear

          Yeah I think they might be polka dots ? From far away I got fishnets but that seems off brand for her

          • Aurumgirl

            Yes. The polka dots are red, though. Which is not a typical “polka dot patterned hose” colour.

            • BlairBear

              I could actually get behind the tights with the dress if the shoes were different. But that may just be because I loved Blair Waldorf on gossip girl

    • kmk05

      Absolutely nothing works here. Including her weird false eyelashes.

      • kimmeister

        The whole eyemakeup situation in general is a little frightening.

    • Carrie

      The tights make her look like she’s got a rash or something. Cute dress though.

    • Glam Dixie

      None of these things go with the others.

    • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

      I have a suggestion. Lady pants.
      Problem solved.
      You’re welcome Zooey.

      • @Biting Panda

        Yes, but 7yr olds don’t wear lady pants and that is her go-to aesthetic. What’s a permanently twee girl to do?

        • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

          Wear pants that have unicorns and rainbows printed on them?

          • Lucía Gavello

            I had bunny overalls that were better than this.

            • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

              if you still have them, will you give them to Zooey?

            • Lucía Gavello

              I’m afraid they had a horrible bleach accident when I was twelve and my mum still made me wear them regularly.

            • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

              Sorry you had to do that.

              I gues that means I’ll have to offer to make some twee looking pants for dear Ms D.

          • LeighBingham

            I had a pair of those in the ’70s — no lie. I was nine. I loved them with all my heart.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        RIGHT?!?

      • Judih1

        or thigh high boots!

    • sagecreek

      Also the cutesy posing. Would it kill you to just stand up straight?

      • Lucía Gavello

        I believe she has Opposite Jengitis, a condition where the alignment of her head, shoulders and hips causes her whole body to collapse like Jenga pieces. Also I made that up.

    • Qdahling

      I do love her even though I have friends that have her on their “Irrational celebrity hatred list”. However, this is not quite working. I have a leg thing too, but I am ok with nude pantyhose and if it’s warmer I find nude fishnets are nice to wear.

      • twocee

        She’s on my irrational celebrity hate list. I find myself gritting my teeth every time she’s on-screen.

        • Qdahling

          Like any well rounded bitter kitten, I too have a list. No worries!

        • Kent Roby

          Same here. I used to really like her, until her quirkiness/cuteness seemed like more of an affectation. I even like her penchant for opaque tights (probably because of my love of Veronica Sawyer in “Heathers”), but these tights are not working for me.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        I agree with you on all fronts. I love Spanx fishnets & the nude are great in warm weather.

      • Constant Reader

        I have a leg thing too (alas, only one of the body “things” I have) and my solution has generally been to wear skirts that are knee-length or longer in warm weather and if I’m wearing a shorter skirt in cool weather, it’s got to coordinate with tights. So maybe what I really have is a thigh thing?

    • hughman

      This is how Moms who are trying to be “cool” dress when they take their daughter to a Taylor Swift concert.

      • Fuchsiaforever

        LOL TOTES

        • Alloy Jane

          Totally unrelated: I know it’s a bird in your picture, but I only see a marabou penis. Am I the only one?

          • Fuchsiaforever

            MARABOU penis!! OH NO! IMMA change it pronto! I had not thought of it! LOL you are totally right it DOES look like an MP….I swear the chicken photograph was spectacular….hehehe…marabou penis….

            Yes you have been the only one to express it so! I’m sure many others have thought it. :-)

            • Alloy Jane

              Aww, I didn’t mean for you to be self-conscious about it. Not many people can say, “would you like to see a picture of my phallic chicken?” and mean it, lol. But Hello Sister Wendy!

    • @Biting Panda

      I wonder if she’ll shake shit up a bit, once New Girl is off the air? Maybe her commitment to ‘Jessica Day’ is just too strong. Not going to hold my breath, though.

      • Alyssa Ball

        I feel like her commitment to Jessica Day has been strong even before Jessica Day was a thing.

        • demidaemon

          Yeah, she was doing this style way before she got her current gig, which makes me pretty sure it will continue until she can no longer sustain it OR she is old enough where tights actually become a reasonable thing to wear.

      • Sobaika

        That can’t be it for two reasons:

        1) Jessica Day was created as a vehicle for Zooey and draws on her preexisting twee-ness.
        2) I’ve seen a great deal of her (lovely) bare legs on New Girl. Whatever obsession she has with tights really comes into play offscreen.

        • @Biting Panda

          When you’re right, you’re right.

        • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

          I wonder how the wardrobe on her show keeps her from wearing tights? Did they burn every pair in the kingdom, à la Sleeping Beauty? I feel like she would bring her own. Why isn’t whatever they say to talk her out of them on the show sticking in her day-to-day life?

        • LP

          I think I read somewhere that she doesn’t shave her legs. Maybe they make her shave for the show or do leg makeup for something. But on the other hand, if you don’t wanna shave, own your hairy legs! Where I’m from, girls not shaving is totally acceptable (though it is kinda a hippie town).

    • butterflysunita

      I don’t like her and I don’t like her style.
      Pointless bitter and grumpy kitten rant over.

    • TonyGo

      No. Looks like a skorts romper. With Little Edie hose and Lady Bird Johnson sensible heels.

      • decormaven

        Those shoes are Villager 1960’s era. There was no need to resurrect them from the dusty shoe box from whence they came. And if she is trying to revive the hosiery business, dearie, it is NOT working.

    • thecitysleeps

      What a horrible neckline on that dress though. And horrendous shoes. Oh yeah, the tights aren’t great either. I just really don’t like her too. Severely overrated, I think.

    • Bexxx

      Good lord I really, really don’t like her. And those shoes are heinous. I think I posted this exact same comment on the last post about her.
      I think my hatred is a little rational- no one should be embodying the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope irl.
      ETA: I forgot to mention I actually really like the dress.

    • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      It’s funny how she takes cute and inoffensive dresses from her own line and ruin them by styling them in the way she always does.

    • rkdgal

      Why not just go whole baby-girl hog and wear tights with frilly panties underneath?

    • Miss Atomic

      Ummm… maybe she just likes to wear stockings. Maybe she has thigh rub like 95% of women and it’s comfortable for her. Maybe she is actually a sensible female starlet who refuses to wear sky high heels that pain her feet. Kudos to Zooey.

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        If that’s the case, fine. More power to her. But can’t she do it without looking like a ModCloth model?

        • MilaXX

          or wearing the world’s most hideous shoe

      • random_poster

        It could certainly be any of those reasons. I think the issue is that she can find pieces which blend together to make a good outfit and fulfill any of those parameters, but rarely does. I would love to see the result of her pulling it off–I bet it’d be fantastic.

      • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

        I have to tell you.. thigh rub with those dots on those stockings is going to be hella painful! I sure hope she doesn’t have it, or else she is going to lose a few layers of skin there with those stockings.. :( And I suspect when she takes the stockings off, there will be red dots akimbo.

        There are stockings – e.g. what Kate Middleton always wears, and then there are torture devices, which is what Miss Zooey has on here.. :)

    • demidaemon

      I just…I don’t….WHAT THE HELL INSPIRED THESE HIDEOUS TIGHTS? Whatever caused this to happen should never happen again. It’s too bad, because she does have on a pretty cute dress. But all I see are tights.

      • Sarah

        I am blinded by the shoes, and I don’t even care about the tights (which are indeed unmatchy, but my god those SHOES.)

        • demidaemon

          Everything below the skirt is pretty much eye bleed worthy.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

        Although, have you seen pictures of girls cosplaying Roy Lichtenstein paintings? These tights are IDEAL for that. And only that.

        • demidaemon

          No, and now I’m pretty sure I don’t want to.

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

            Oh you should – some are better than others, but very clever! And up close they look like they have chickenpox.

            • demidaemon

              Hmmm… chickenpox is not making me want to go see these. But, maybe when I get home, I’ll give them a Google glance.

        • Sarah

          Ha! Those are called “benday dots” in graphic printing terms. You are so right!

        • Alloy Jane

          MAC did that about two years ago but I had no idea that it was a thing outside of that. I just googled it and the nail art is pretty awesome!

        • MartyBellerMask

          A mom showed up at my kid’s school’s Halloween event like that. It was impressive.

    • Sarah Rivas

      I feel like for the most part I’m a pretty confident, mentally healthy young woman, but I absolutely hate to show my legs. No maser how close of a shave I get you can always kind of see hairs under my pores, so I always wear jeans or tights under my dresses. I hate going to water parks or the beach because that means showing my legs and I haven’t worn shorts since I was eight. So it’s been kind of cool to have someone like Zooey to watch and build my own fashion identity off of because her looks work with tights.

      • suzq

        I have scrapes and bruises to beat the band. How do other people not get those things? Oh and these days, mosquito bites.

        • Sarah Rivas

          Right? On top of my pore issues, I have constant bruises and scrapes from quidditch practice (yes, I’m that nerdy). I look around and it feels like everyone else has these perfect legs, so my gut reaction is to want to hid my own.

          • lbee

            Totally with you on all this.

      • marlie

        I used to be self-conscious about mine (skinny chicken legs, and a scar from a burn I got years ago), but then a few years ago, I just decided to say “F*ck it; I’m not going to miss out on wearing the clothes I want to wear anymore.” Still, I love tights and pants, and I do wear them quite often.

        As for Zooey here, I don’t have a problem with her wearing tights – she can wear them every stinking day for all I care – but they need to be the right ones with the right outfit. And those shoes are hiddy, no matter how you look at it.

        • LP

          Ditto. I wear shorter shorts and skirts now at 29 than I did at 19. I have blotchy knees from various childhood scars, a misshapen kneecap from a car accident, and pale white skin with darker hair pores. Nobody is looking at your leg skin as closely as you are and 99% of people won’t notice shit.

          • marlie

            My mom used to tell me that if someone was looking THAT closely, they deserved a knee to the face. :P

    • 1carmelita

      Roy LIchtenstein legs.

      • boweryboy

        Maybe that’s why she covers them up…

    • Lynda

      I really do like her and normally I like her quirky style – but this dress is just a Florence Henderson/Brady Bunch rehash that only needs a turtle neck dickie and a pixie cut to make it complete. And the dress and shoes look like an 80’s after thought. To me, not the best way to represent when you are on the show to represent your new line of clothes.

    • CB

      She wears a lot of dresses with bare legs on New Girl (and the mini she’s wearing in the opening credits is SUPER short). Maybe she just likes wearing tights/stockings in real life, but I wish she wouldn’t!

    • Danielle

      She looks so uncomfortable.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      Someone tell Louise here that she’s pretty so she can own it already.

    • omg_dora

      I don’t like the way the darts on the bodice of the dress mess up the print. If it were a sewing pattern it would say “not suitable for fabrics with obvious diagonals” because of this problem exactly. It’s a small thing, but it would be enough for me not to buy the dress in a shop…

      • lbee

        Right? That distracts me far more than the tights (which I think are ok) or the shoes (gag).

    • Jennifer Bober

      I’m someone who almost always wears some hosiery, just because I don’t like the feel of most shoes without them, but there are better ways than the tights she’s always wearing!

    • http://www.readbarbara.com/ ReadBarbara

      Perhaps her legs are a subtle statement to the anti-vaccination crowd that the re-emergence of measles is a real thing.

    • Fuchsiaforever

      Somehow this look manages to be BIZARRE AND BORING at the same time. How is that possible? [scratches her head]*

    • deelup

      Is this the new British Airways flight attendant dress?

    • FrigidDiva

      She reminds me of one of my former friends, constantly “on”, having to be the quirkiest one in the room as well as the center of attention. Notice the “former” part. That shit got old REALLY fast and is probably why Zoey is on my irrational hate list. The dress is OK, but it’s hard to judge it on it’s own with those terrible tights and shoes.

      • SRQkitten

        Thanks for nailing part of why I find her so annoying, it’s a sense of complete non-genuineness that rankles. To be truly quirky, it must be genuine and I’ve had enough experience with the folks like your former friend to know that’s not it.

    • marlie

      The dress is cute, if a bit twee. And yes, that’s a sad, limp bow. The tights are weird, but the needle-scratch for me are those shoes. They’re hideous.

      • Imasewsure

        I’m guessing she thought the tights matched because the dress was a diamond pattern and the tights are a diamond pattern (Gurl NO!) but definitely the shoes are the main negative here. HID-E-OUS!!

        • MilaXX

          I think they are actually taupe colored fishnets. This works for JLo and Bey when performing. They get the feel and control of tights but without the shone. Sadly in real life it doesn’t work as well.

          • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

            No those are like dots on tights. I can see how they give the impression of being fishnets but up close – probably the third photo down is the best one to enlarge and you can see what is going on – nothing that should be going on in my opinion! It looks like a very bad case of chickenpox.. and I say that as someone who had an extremely bad case of it once.. :(

            I would prefer fishnets ala Bey and Jlo.

            I have a strong belief that fashion should never look like a rash or an illness of some kind. Maybe I’m wacky that way.. lol

            Now, if those dots were Swarovskis – that I could get down with. A sparkly leg paradise. :)

    • Kimmu

      I am an adult who has absolutely no issues with her legs, I love wearing shorts, but I do wear tights or leggings whenever I wear a dress because I admit I am lazy and tend to sit with the “villain slouch” thus the tights help me not flash my crotch to the whole world. Maybe Zoe is the same way.

      That being said, not feeling that sad dress at all.

    • Nika E

      I swear my fly ass grandmother has those same shoes and she rocks them, but she’s 75. I like the tights and dress but not together. That tie at the waist can go. It serves no purpose. Also, her makeup person sucks.

    • MzzPants

      She’s gonna’ jump from ‘twee as fuck’ right to ‘octogenarian socialite’ without even skipping a beat.

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        How old is she now anyway? In her 40s?

        • Wendi126

          She is 34 and if anyone sees me in those shoes in 5 years shoejack them ala Carrie Bradshaw

    • Chuck Barthelme

      I don’t know if I hate them as much as the usual solid dark color she usually wears. Kind of refreshing to know her legs are normal color at least.

    • Maryanne525

      Maybe she has some chub rub? Hahaha, that phrase always makes me laugh out loud. My thighs are large & in charge – I wear leggings or tights to avoid the painful chafe situation. (Dibs on that for a band name. WE’RE PAINFUL CHAFE SITUATION, TIP YOUR WAITRESSES!)

      • Peeve

        As someone who was in a rock band in which no one could agree upon a name, snork! We toyed with calling ourselves “Free Beer”, because we’d at least guarantee our first gig would be packed, but ultimately, decided against it…..

        • Maryanne525

          I would’ve DEFINITELY come to that!!

          • Peeve

            Only once, Maryanne525, only once!

    • Anna

      Clearly, the tights are her equivalent of Lea Michele’s try so hard to be sexy “OF COURSE.”

      Had a look at the rest of the collection. It’s fine, I suppose. But I’m pretty sure I’ve seen variations of these dresses in the ’60s section of various vintage/thrift stores.

    • MW

      Zooey darling, send those shoes back to Her Majesty the Queen, she’ll know what to wear them with.

    • Aidan B

      I wonder how much Hilfiger had to pay her to model this collection bare-legged? She looked fabulous in those ads, so it’s infuriating to see her wearing those same looks with tights. They do her NO favors.

    • Imasewsure

      I say small kudos to Z for not wearing thick black tights with this… but…. just no…. not understanding this look at all

    • Belvane

      I’m twice her age, so she doesn’t have my excuse, but it took me a long time to get used to everyone having bare legs all the time, or more specifically, bare feet in shoes that go with dressy outfits and gowns. When I was growing up, a look wasn’t finished unless you wore stockings of some sort, and the idea of putting a bare foot into an elegant pump was just weird. So I kind of admire Zooey for bringing back the dressed leg. Not in this case, unfortunately, but generally.

      • marlie

        That’s the eternal argument I have with my mother.

    • MilaXX

      All 3 things (dress/tights/shoes) are fighting each other so hard it’s ridiculousness.It’s also counterproductive since can’t appreciate the dress when there’s so much conflict among your clothing.

    • E2_Remote

      Speaking from personal experience, it is possible to develop varicose veins at an early age. Maybe that’s what she’s hiding?

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        I posted about this the other day — my Mom had the same thing. After a while she just started wear pants all the time. But she looked good doing it.

        • E2_Remote

          In my late 20’s I was given two options: have really invasive vascular surgery to fix the (slightly) damaged artery causing the varicose and spider veins, or suck it up and deal with the cosmetic aspects of having them. Since it wasn’t affecting my health directly, I chose not to go under the knife and have since quit worrying about the way they look and usually just go bare-legged. But if I had a camera zoomed in on them constantly like Zooey does, well…that would be different.

    • cocohall

      I watch too much TV and thought her issue might be plaque psoriasis (those ads are ubiquitous) , because she defaults to opaque tights with such regularity that she might be covering a skin condition. But fishnets rule that out, yes? I honestly don’t know what Plaque psoriasis looks like, but it sounds awful.

      Maybe her mother told her it wasn’t ladylike to go out with bare legs and she is just following orders? Seems unlikely for someone who is otherwise a champion for being unconventional. So I am stumped, because she has cute little stems as far as I can see. But like you said, we all have our body issues and they are not subject to rational thought.

      That said, her dress is going to give me a seizure if I look at the print too much longer and the rest of it doesn’t help. Judging from these photos, she’s just not much of a morning person, is she? She looks like I look in the morning, and that means keep me as far away from cameras and chipper people as possible.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      I really wish she would stop looking like Barbara Feldon. I’m starting to think she’s doing it on purpose.

      • Qitkat

        Ha ha ;) i loved BF. She could do worse.

      • Imasewsure

        I would love to see her inhabit a retro character. I’d love to see her go all HBC on us…. anything but Aged Tween Queen (with Tights)

        • venusvelvet

          At first I read that as Aged Twee Queen. :)

          • Imasewsure

            I like that better but unfortunately that would have to come with a really really juvenile tiara!!

    • ashtangajunkie

      I don’t get it.

    • Kitten_Mittens

      Or perhaps those shoes should be sent to Kate Middleton.

      • marlie

        Nah. Cathy Cambridge sure loves her 4-inch heels.

        • Kitten_Mittens

          Despite the Queen’s obvious disapproval.

          • marlie

            I knew the queen didn’t approve of the length of her dresses/skirts (allegedly), but I didn’t know the shoes were on the list too.

        • kimmeister

          She also has on hosiery pretty much all the time, but her hosiery is appropriate to the outfit.

    • http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

      Something odd about that eye makeup…I’m thinking she didn’t need eyeliner, especially below the eye.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      I wonder if she wears so many tights to avoid chafing

    • B_C_J

      The dress is quite bad but her makeup is even worse.

    • TM

      I’m quite sure she’s goes sans tights on New Girl often, so I definitely think that they are an off-screen stylistic choice.

      And for some reason I find myself defending her “twee” style and the manic pixie stigma she carries. She’s a smart cookie and has some pretty neat things to say about femininity and feminism. I was so prepared to hate the onslaught of “adorkable” Fox pushed for New Girl’s earlier promos, but her character clever and subverts quite a lot of the manic pixie genre norms. Most importantly Jess is multidimensional and from a female-perspective so Zooey’s no longer just the mystical object of a lonely dudes life. Which helps.

      Sorry, sorry. I’m done mindlessly typing. Sorry.

    • jilly_d

      No matter if it’s a discomfort with showing bare leg or a style preference……There is an easy solution to this. Long gowns on the RC, pants for other appearances. Look into it, Zooey. I can’t take it anymore. And burn those shoes, goddamnit.

    • Qitkat

      That has to be the first pair of hose that LOOK LIKE A TEST PATTERN.
      However I was brought up (back when dinosaurs etc) that a lady always wears hose with dresses/skirts. I still think bare feet feel weird in heels, and y’all yell about stank boot so much, what about stank heels? Just sayin’
      I don’t think she has varicose veins either, unless she is using concealer. It’s either a quirky fashion choice, or a body issue. Either way, I don’t care. Cute dress, sort of.

      • IMNAngryLiberal

        I blame Sex and The City for the “no hose” with heels thing and it will never look right to me. It makes my eye twitch when I walk into a meeting and see women with expensive suits, expensive shoes, and bare legs — especially in Seattle’s rainy season (which is 10.5 months long). Thank goodness for Cathy Cambridge.

        • Grumpy Girl

          Right there with you on that. One thing when it’s 90+ degrees out and the AC isn’t working. But it just looks unprofessional.

      • Grumpy Girl

        It’s not the height of the heels that is ugly. It’s that shoe. With that dress and those stockings. The white part is too white. And since the dress is sporty looking, I think a more playful shoe would be the way to go. And I can deal with tights, if they go with the outfit. These do not.

    • judybrowni

      Also What the Hell is wrong with her face: that hideous orange eye shadow back from the grave, with tarantula false eye lashes, and too lopsided lipstick.

      C’mon, you’re a cute girl, you don’t need the war paint.

    • Vtg Fashion Library

      That dress looks a lot like my Easter dress in fourth grade. The whole outfit makes me sad.

    • Boulderista

      stankboot at coachella was nicer shoes than these gawd-awful queen mum shoes. why not navy ballet flats?

    • Kirstin McAulay

      Wow, polka dot fine denier tights, I’m suddenly in primary school and heading for a disco where the teacher is going to play his tunes…

    • conniemd

      Dress is cute, but more suitable for a teen or 20’s. I looked her up because she always seemed young to me and she looked much older in these pics. She’s in her mid-thirties,

    • dickylarue

      C’mon TLo. You know the tights are required to keep those pesky self respecting lesbians away.

    • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

      No leg condition could be worse than those tights.

    • colleenjanel

      Just how long does she think she’s going to be able to pull off this twee shit? It was quirky and passable when she looked like she was in her 20’s but her face is starting to tell the true story. It happens. We all age. She’s got to start making an effort to embrace it.

    • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com cheekypinky

      I wonder if she feels awkward about the paleness of her legs?
      As a pale person, I can handle being pasty on the face, arms, boobs…but when it comes to my legs, I always feel like I’m going to blind the universe.
      (I didn’t say it was logical)

      • Grumpy Girl

        As I got older, I just stopped giving a fuck. If I can blind the universe, more power to me: I want special bracelets and a sceptre, too. My mother, in her 80s, is horrified by the paleness of my legs (and the rest of me, too, for that matter).

        • Qitkat

          As I got older, I just stopped giving a fuck.

          Wanna collaborate on tee shirts?

    • GorgeousThings

      Measles stockings.

    • susan6

      Forget the legs; I couldn’t make it past her face. What’s with the eyelashes? She needs to fire her makeup gay.

    • Jaeda Laurez

      Her eye makeup is awful and aging. The dress is cute, but not with those stockings. I like the shoes though, just not with this outfit.

    • TwiddlyStun

      My go-to explanation for the weird tights has been the very short peek-a-booty skirts she tends to favor, but this skirt is more in the realm of a regular grownup length skirt, so I got nothin’.

    • Sophie

      I like the dress, especially the print. Those tights and their print are really bad.

    • LeelaST

      This is the most unattractive I’ve seen her look – and that’s saying a lot with all the tights issues. That is not a dress for a 34-year-old, it looks very junior, the shoes and tights as TLo stated, the DIY makeup, and the hair is just “too.”

    • Gatto Nero

      I wonder whether she will ever age out of her taste for the quirky-twee schoolgirl look.

    • MyFavoriteColorIsGlitter

      I know exactly why she doesn’t like her legs. I have the EXACT same legs. They are a little on the thick side and do not have the shapeliness that “nice legs” do… See how the calf just goes straight up into the knee when you’re looking straight on at the leg – usually lady legs curve back in a bit above the calf, before the knee… Sigh. Not for Zooey and me, though… I have always called our type of legs “tree trunk legs”. And just like Zooey, it bugged me for a long time too. I did the tights. Mostly I just wore pants or maxi dresses. But eventually I got over it when I realized that
      a) Just like uncles said – when you are constantly covering up and trying to hide something you are self conscious about, all really you succeed in doing is calling attention it.
      and
      b) They’re really not that horrible. My insecurity about their less than perfect shape was blown way out of proportion in my young mind and no one ever noticed anything wrong with them except me!
      I wear whatever now. It’s fun.

      • prettyinmink

        Oh how I love the clarity that comes with getting older!

    • FridaStaire

      Her normal black tights would look much better!

    • melisaurus

      I had a roommate that also only/always wore skirts and tights – even in the summer. I don’t even know if she owned pants.

    • elirt

      What really odd is she goes bare legged on “The New Girl” all of the time so maybe it’s how she thinks they photograph or her comfort walking in the real world with bare legs?

    • DinahR

      Y’know at first I was like, “Hey! I really like those shoes! What’s wrong with them, guys?” Then I made the sad connection with reality….. I’m really am probably 25 years older than her. Sigh. So yes, Zoey, please pass them my way.

    • Jenna621

      I don’t like the dress on her. I don’t like anything here on her (makeup and hair included). GTINYL.

    • Alloy Jane

      Why can’t she wear nice tights? YOU HAVE MONEY GIRLIE. BUY SOME WOLFORDS. They have several beautiful dot patterned tights that are decidedly less grandma than the pair you are wearing. Also, it is totally possible to wear sensible shoes that are not hideous. Keds would have been preferable to those things. Cute dress, poodle hair, too much makeup, and agree with the Sad Sash assessment. They make really big grosgrain ribbon that does not collapse upon itself, if you insist on using a fabric tie and not a belt. Seriously though, those shoooooes. They are so ugly…

      I wish I could remember the interview I read where she acknowledged that there is NOTHING wrong with her legs, but that she wears tights because they are her Linus blankie. Unfortunately, I don’t think there is one where she illuminates us on why she poses like “I’m a Little Teapot” is streaming endlessly in her head.

      OK, gonna beat that dead horse some more, but hey. It was asking for it. Theoretically, she could’ve worn a simple, unpatterned dress with a better dot tight, or if she wanted to keep the dress, why not go for a nude, satin gloss pair of hose with a cute flat? See the girl behind her? She’s wearing a nice black flat. Sensible shoes that are cute! And yes, pants if you are self-conscious about your legs, because in my world, if I’m wearing a patterned tight, it’s to show off my legs. But like TLo said, body issues are not within the realm of reason.

    • strawberryshake

      There is nothing about this look that is not frumpy.

    • icm

      She is cute but desperately needs a hairstyle makeover. I have this vision that she will have this same hairstyle in 20 years and appear on some Oprah like makeover show because she is in a rut.To me it looks dated and yet almost too youthful for her face at the same time . Time for a new look .

    • Aurumgirl

      Those shoes are so much worse than anything Lupita Nyong’o has ever been accused of.

    • MartyBellerMask

      The tights are cute, in an ode-to-Roy-Lichtenstein way.
      Shoes are HIDDY.

    • yllas

      I’m torn. She doesn’t look china-doll pretty like she used to, but I love her hair. I don’t like the print of the dress, yet I had one (tea-length dress, yet) with that kind of print, almost EXACTLY like it, in the 70s and wore it till it just fell apart.

    • kittentoes

      I’m sorry to say, I’m just glad she’s not wearing heavy black tights.

    • Amel

      Those shoes are a big no. If she’d worn solid-color flats I think I would be way more for this outfit overall.

    • elemspbee

      That last picture–it’s just cruel to keep circulating it :-(. But hey, no black tights!!!

    • irielle

      My first thought was “gee, I kind of like those shoes!” My second thought was “Am I 25 years older than her, really?!!” I’m not, but I still think I’m old enough to happily take those shoes off her hands.