Chloë Grace Moretz in Carven at “The Library” Opening Night

Posted on April 16, 2014

Darlings! We have come up with an exciting new strategy for dealing with the execrable and never-ending lace dress trend! And Chloe here inspired us to do it! Give a twirl, girl!


Chloe-Moretz-Carven-The-Library-Opening-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Chloë Grace Moretz attends “The Library” opening night celebration at The Public Theater in New York City in Carven.

Chloe-Moretz-Carven-The-Library-Opening-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Carven Pre-Fall 2014 Collection

Chloe-Moretz-Carven-The-Library-Opening-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Chloe-Moretz-Carven-The-Library-Opening-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

We’re only going to feature the ABSOLUTE WORST examples of the trend we can find, until the public becomes so disgusted, they rise up as one and vote them out of office!

Or something! We haven’t worked out the details! Our point? This is kinda ugly!

[Photo Credit: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images,]

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  • jilly_d


  • fiddlecub

    More smile, less duckface, kthx. If you wear something ugly, you still need to sell yourself!

  • Evan

    Is she wearing a lining under there because it looks like I can see her whole body, which is inappropriate for her age. How old is she again?

    • @Biting Panda

      It’s lined in maroon. Both the model’s and hers.

      • Evan

        It’s still giving me an illusion of her body line for some reason. Whatever it is, it’s ugly.

        • @Biting Panda

          Oh it’s ugly. Of that, there is no doubt.

        • lunchcoma

          I’m seeing that too. I don’t think the lining is all the same color. It seems darker by her bustline and pantyline. I initially thought it was one of those naked dresses and was a bit horrified in light of her age.

          • Evan

            I thought I could see her crotch at first, to which I was horrified.

          • demidaemon

            I was unsure myself. I think all these questions point to one thing: the lining here is horrible.

  • @Biting Panda

    I’ll be as eloquent as possible….. Ew.

  • Fanny_Trollope

    What is going on with the lining of that dress? I see kinda-black and kinda-red . . . in different odd places. I say no.

  • Mary Elizabeth Poytinger Baume


  • The library is now open.

    Next time I have a Partridge Family themed Catholic mass, I know where to get the robes for the alter boys.

    • Sarah

      Right? I was thinking “Puritan’s Wild Night Out” but Partridge Family @ church works better. Nooo thank you.

    • PinkyAndNoBrain

      Bonus Mass fun: buy some extras, hang them on your walls and you’ll have the ugliest stained-glass windows ever!

  • This review is laced with poison, metaphorically speaking. Although that dress does make me want to throw up.

  • ashtangajunkie

    She’s really going to regret all of the lip-pursing in 20 years or so.

  • kmk05

    I kind of like the shoes. PLEASE DON’T BURN ME.

    It’s always refreshing to see her face, and less duck lips this time! Progress.

  • lunchcoma

    Frumpy and prudish, but with an edge of discomfort at seeing a 17-year-old in what initially looks like an unlined dress.

    Yeah, I could have done without this one.

    • marlie

      I really don’t want to be looking at a kid her age and asking “is that her underwear?” or “do I see crotch?” When in doubt, try something else.

      • conniemd

        Right there with you. I’m a mom and I really dislike that I was staring at her trying to figure out if she was commando on the bottom half of the dress which was not lined. That is just too creepy for words. I want to slap her stylist.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Ugh.. what a horrid dress. The black cap on the top makes her look like one of those doll bottles of bath bubbles.

  • marlie

    This dress is awful. And whatever the f*ck is going on with the lining is worse on CGM than it is on the model. And I haven’t had to say it for a few days, but this look is begging – no, screaming – for color on the lips.

    • demidaemon

      Yeah, I too wanted to comment on her underdone face (but the dress’ blinding ugliness prevented me). Clearly, her entire team gave up after seeing what the stylist picked out for her, including the wearer herself.

  • Danielle

    She needs the number of Kiernan’s team.

  • sugarkane105

    I don’t mind it. At least it has some personality, unlike many a lace dress. Though judging by the reception so far, many think that personality is just “ugly” haha.

    • demidaemon

      Well, assholes have personality, too. Just because they have one doesn’t mean they are great.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    The lace doesn’t bother me nearly as much as that heavy black yolk, still bugs though.

  • Kent Roby

    The yoke is on her.

  • MilaXX

    Yeah this dress is hiddy.

  • imspinningaround

    Why is she wearing a barber’s shoulder drape over her dress?

    • kimmeister

      I was thinking it was a mini X-ray apron that she forgot to take off after her dentist visit.

  • hughman

    “At the first Thanksgiving, moths had eaten most of their clothes.”

    • VicD

      Pilgrim doily. Or, perhaps just … grim doily.

  • Anna

    Holy hell is that ugly.

  • Look at the shoes on the model. Do they remind you of anyone? THE DRESS WAS SENT TO THE WRONG CHLOE. This is The Sev’s dress.

    • ampg

      I like your theory best.

    • demidaemon

      At least if she had worn it, it would have meant an alter post and her attempting to sell the dress crazily.

  • Jessica Freeman

    And yet I find the black block of blah on her shoulders the worst part of this dress…closely followed by the color of the lining.

  • Karen Belgrad

    As Troy Dyer said… “You look like a doily”

  • DeniseSchipani

    In the first shot she looks like she has a terrible skin disease on her arms.

  • Rhonda Shore

    I’d rather see another pic of Hiddles in another tuxedo.

  • Cheryl

    Why is this making me think of Star Trek. I sure don’t remember any lace dresses.

    • Imasewsure

      That wide shoulder block is totally Trekky… thank gawd the lace didn’t make it past the Wardrobe Department!

  • Just stupid!

  • Stella Zawistowski

    That black panel is just so heavy compared with the rest of the dress. NO.

  • Nika E

    Its totally ugly.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    Kinda ugly??…no that is hideously ugly…she looks like she needs a medicated ointment…

  • EveEve

    sputter….every lace dress you feature becomes the ABSOLUTE WORST one. Everytime I can’t imagine the so-called “trend” could get any more hideous…it does. Can we please move directly to Friday now?

  • Fuchsiaforever

    She went to get a hair cut and someone forgot to take off the plastic bib they place on your shoulders to help cut hair neatly and evenly….

  • YoungSally

    Oh God — she made the granny panties red so the whole outfit matches the Public’s logo. No bueno! Oskar Eustis did you approve of this look? Or did Stephen Soderbergh as a way of creating horror and tension for the viewing audience?

  • nannypoo

    Chloe “The Duck” Moretz with bad hair, the ugly shoes and the world’s worst lace dress. Not a pretty sight.

  • crash1212

    “kinda” being the understatement of the year.

  • decormaven

    And yet another illustration of Why Lace Dresses Must Die.

  • Imasewsure

    Good thing she augmented that ugly dress with great hair and awesome shoes (oh wait…)…

  • andi56

    Dear Chloe: Go call Kiernan Shipka for advice. She would never do this.

  • Sophie

    Is the lining bicoloured? What is going on under that dress? She has a lovely smile, but the rest is bad.

  • quiltrx

    This is really bizarre and unflattering. And there’s something unpleasant going on in the good-china area of that dress.

  • Dany

    Truly hideous. Miss Havisham chic is not something to aspire to young lady!

  • NJBK

    You’re being kind uncles, that is fugly!

  • Vaniljekjeks

    No. To be fair, I’m still mad at her for the Carrie remake. That was fucking horrible.

  • Jean Beaton Leavitt

    Thank god someone is going to do something!

  • Qitkat

    The only thing that fabric is good for is that it would make nice endpapers in a medieval tome on botanical florals.

  • LadyVimes

    It looks like she’s been beheaded. That is not a good look for anyone. Except the Cheshire Cat.

  • Veronica1022

    Can’t you guys just issue a proclimation that unless its your 1st communion, your wedding or your spouses funeral there is no excuse to wear lace?

  • Paula Pertile

    Oh, no, you’re wrong – this is really beautiful! The way the black collar sets off the ‘hide n’ seek’ underthings, the colors against her skin – just stunning. And the shoes really enhance ….

    hahahahahaha, OK, I can’t. Get the matches!!!!

  • Jacob Bowen

    Did she also make it LONGER than the model? I understand modesty, especially for younger girls, but covering yourself MORE FULLY in lace does not make you look younger.

    • demidaemon

      Nah, I think she’s just short. Chloe is pretty tiny, after all.

  • That is the ugliest effing lace dress I’ve ever seen in my life.

  • andreawey

    no more please!!!!

  • demidaemon

    Her facial expression represents this dress well: What am I doing her?

    The exact question we ask of these dresses. Also: It’s VERY ugly.

  • alyce1213

    Sometimes, it’s just stupid. This is stupid dress.

  • mcbishop

    This is one of the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen.

  • MartyBellerMask

    Antimacassar in reverse.

  • MzzPants

    It’s not ‘kind of ugly’. It’s ‘extremely ugly’.

  • MarissaLG

    It IS kinda ugly and also is maybe too tight? So hard to tell! Who cares!

  • Joanna

    It isn’t “kinda” ugly. It is absolutely ugly!

  • Shawn EH

    The model’s working it (evil nun vibe), but not miss Chloe. She needs to sell her horror queen status harder, really go for the Goth more.

  • JP

    Hiddy doesn’t begin to cover it. But I kinda like her shoes.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Oh, dear. She looks tired and sad and really not into this lassault on my eyes.

  • paintedfish

    that dress makes it look like she’s weirdly naked underneath. i swear i see bush.

  • AnneElliot

    Not just kinda ugly, really ugly. And she looks uncomfortable in it, so I think she knows it’s not working.

  • Zuber

    Honey, No!!