Shia LaBeouf gets the standard guyditorial from Details, along with a feature story so nauseating, we’re not even gonna quote it. We’ll just give you the title: “Shia LaBeouf: Hollywood’s Last Bad Boy.” That’s a story idea that saw its genesis right around the time James Dean’s corpse got cold and a title bestowed on hundreds of actors in the years since, in fawning cover stories just like this one. Go. Read. Enjoy the whole thing. For fun, cross out Shia’s name and put in Colin Farrell’s, or Russell Crowe’s, or Leonardo DiCaprio’s, or Johnny Depp’s, or… you get the idea. Us, we’re gonna look at pictures. That’s where the real story is.
Shia is an adventurous boy hitching a ride on a scenic country road.
Now Shia is the hot redneck who stops to pick him up.
But then a motorcycle cop comes along! Wow! Details is exactly like gay porn! Who knew? (everybody.)
After months of living on the road, thumbing rides in exchange for oral sex, Shia has developed a drug habit.
Fortunately, simple, clean-living farmer Shia takes him in and helps him clean up.
Now Shia lives the clean, farm life and spends his day staring intently at wheat.
Occasionally, redneck Shia stops by to relive old times in the barn. The end.
[Photo Credit: details.com]