DRAG QUEENS SAVE THE WORLD
The bitches are back in town. Part of the appeal of Drag Race All Stars is watching the old-timers return and noting just how much their collective pussy has been stepped up in the time since they left. In other words, let’s kick things off with some drag, shall we?
The outfit is sharp and fierce, but it’s everything above the neck that really makes this look. Gottmik’s makeup skills are insane.
We’re thrilled to see Roxxxy back in the game and it’s nice to see all of the other queens treating her with respect. Unforch, this entrance look is horrible. The proportions are unflattering and that wig is not fabulous.
Serving pure Vanjie. It’s tacky, it’s loud, it’s leaving a mess everywhere.
Angeria looked stunning, but we hate the chaps.
Mama’s drag has improved. She looks amazing.
As entrance looks go, this one makes clear that for now at least, Plastique will be resting on pretty. In other words, the costume’s fine, but she knows it’s all about that face.
Cute, but underwhelming, which is generally how we think of Jorgeous.
Love to see Shannel back in the Werk Room serving her old school drag. This is an homage to her Medusa look and it’s kind of great, although the nude illusion snakes look a little lacking in the illusion department.
As premieres go, this one couldn’t have been any more straightforward (you’ll pardon the term). Lots of time spent with the queens in the Werk Room just being queens, virtually no time spent on any rehearsals or preparations, one musical number and bam, you’re done. Not counting Ru’s musical number of course, but we’re doing her a favor by ignoring it. We have no doubt any regular reader is tired of hearing us say this, but it’s always best to see any season of Drag Race as a variety show with cash prizes instead of a strict competition. That’s never been more clear this season, when the queens are competing for charity and the competition is structured so that no one gets eliminated. The thing is, so many of these queens have great careers post-Drag Race. None of them want to come back and have Michelle Visage tell them they look like shit. The number was fun, but there’s simply no way of assessing who was best and that’s more or less by design. As per the usual, the best performances are determined by the ephemeral and inarguable criterion of “I couldn’t take my eyes off her.”
Category Is: Signature Look, Signature Fragrance! Which scent-sational runway is your fave? #AllStars9 pic.twitter.com/sVdjFPHBWn
— RuPaul’s Drag Race (@RuPaulsDragRace) May 17, 2024
It was also really weird how we saw almost no preparations or rehearsals and then found out on the runway that the queens all created a signature fragrance bottle and wrote copy for it. It almost makes it feel like something happened during the preparations that prevented them from shooting it or left them with unusable footage. Or maybe the queens only agreed to come back if we never have to see them struggle. At any rate, the looks were appropriately gorgeous. Gottmik and Plastique are definitely the bitches to beat in the looks-serving. Nina was witty. Shannell and Roxxy both looked like stunning old school queens.
Angeria and Jorgeous were declared the top queens and we have no issue with that. If Jorgeous really did choreograph the number, she deserves the props and Angeria is that killer Drag Race combination of being really funny and pageant-level polished. It’s why she won the lip sync even though Jorgeous gave a far more energetic and kinetic performance. Angeria used her win to keep Roxxxy from getting a badge next week and our only issue with this twist is how cheap and flimsy the giant prop scissors are.
THE PAINT BALL
We knew a ball was coming sooner rather than later, and Lorenzo’s relieved that he only had to screencap 24 dresses this time. That has nothing to do with the above picture, of course.
Gratuitous. Don’t hear any of you complaining about it.
Anyway, the ball challenge was art-themed and the queens were tasked with making one look from scratch, using paint to decorate it. Again, things moved briskly throughout the Werk Room. It’s less about watching the queens freak out, sling shade, and have meltdowns when it’s an All Star challenge. It’s more about just watching them do the work and hang out with each other. Roxxxy really has changed and mellowed in her time away and it was genuinely sweet seeing her willingly and eagerly take on the role of mother and help all the other queens out. Katya once told us that people have no idea just how insanely talented Roxxxy is at the art and technical aspects of drag; sewing, wig-making, makeup.
The catgeories were Monochromatica, Drag Imitates Art and Paintball Eleganza. Angeria’s monochromatic look is fun. The wig really makes it. The Mondrian dress is nice enough, but doesn’t feel drag enough. The paintball look is fairly well executed, but a little too similar to her first look.
Shannel’s drag is deliciously old school, which is why we tend to think it’s going to get largely ignored by the judges. Her monochromatic look great, but her Hokusai wave look is a pure stunner. We smiled at her paintball look because everything about it, from the craftiness to the cage heels, felt like Drag Race circa 2011. It was a mess, though.
Having paid her several compliments, it’s now time for our critiques of Roxxxy. Great makeup skills, but she sports exactly the same face every time. To be fair, that was true of most of the All Stars this week. We’re disappointed by all three of her looks. The first one is unflattering and looks a little less polished than it should. Her second was uneven. The clock bodice was interesting, but just printing a painting on a skirt is a pretty low-effort homage. Her paintball look is impressive, but we hated the paint job.
In the ball community, it’s certainly not considered a problem if someone wants to walk that runway in high-end couture, but we admitted to feeling a little underimpressed by Gottmik’s labels. Of course you’re gonna look great in head to toe Versace ripped straight from the runway. Having said that, all three of her looks were insanely good, but her paintball look was a really great piece of fashion design.
Nina’s monochromatic look was gorgeous, but the little face covering thing was gimmicky and unneeded. While there’s something a little deviously brilliant and unsettling about the concept of Tom of Finland inspired drag, Nina’s not the queen to pull it off. Conceptually, the look was very sloppy, but it also lacked the raging masculinity tropes that defined his work. She needed to go genderfuck for this and she’s just not that girl. No one thinks “white tights” when they think of Tom of Finland. The paintball look was an utter disaster that should have gotten her read for filth, but the judges
aren’t allowed to say anything bad.
Vangie’s Michelle homage was funny and fabulous. Her Van Gogh missed the mark, but it was a cute look. Her Puerto Rican princess was surprisingly well done. The paint work is pretty impressive.
We seriously forgot just how stunning Plastique can be. All of her looks were amazing, although the Kusama-inspired one was our least favorite. Each look has a distinct and perfectly chosen wig for it. Her paintball look is jaw-dropping.
Jorgeous’s drag is gimmicky and adorable. That weed pixie is filled with great details. The Picasso look just looked like ’90s fashion to us. The paintball look was just okay, but the stenciling came out a lot better than we thought it would.
Everyone did a great job, but Gottmik and Plastique were so far above the others in their efforts that their top two placement was completely inarguable. They faced off for a less-than-epic lip sync, although they tried their best with a song fairly ill-suited to drag. Gottmik won and snipped Angeria, reasoning that a comedy challenge was next. It’ll be interesting to see how those scissors get wielded going forward.
Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold! It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.
ALSO: We will be doing a talk and Q&A at the National Arts Club in New York during Pride, where the topic will be drag queens, Drag Race, and queer cultural heroes of history. The details are here. See you there!
[Photo Credit: Paramount Plus via Tom and Lorenzo, World of Wonder Productions, Inc./Paramount+]
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