Hi! Pretend we inserted a really good pun here utilizing the modern slang form of “tea,” won’t you? Because we’ve been writing about so much goddamn red carpetry non-stop for the last 72 hours that our brains have gone soft and we’re tired of trying to compose introductory paragraphs! Transparency in blogging, darlings! Onward! Why are we shouting? TO STAY AWAKE!
Dull, effortless. No points awarded. Go home, Baby Vader.
Gemma Chan in Prabal Gurung
The power of The Chan is making this almost literal pile of rags looks chic – but only the power of The Chan. Because it is a silly frock.
Glenn Close in Sies Marjan
Honestly, we think the top half is a lot of fun. We’d have rec’d a simple, swingy, to-the-floor skirt and tucked in the shirt.
Jodie Comer in Erdem
We are perfectly fine with Brocade Gumby. We welcome it, in fact.
He tries to do interesting little things with his suiting, but it never quite rises above blandness. This isn’t terrible, but it mostly works because he’s cute. It’s also a skosh too casual.
Kathryn Hahn in Thom Browne
Ladies, what is with this sudden outbreak of satin on the red carpet? Who is behind this push? Who told you it traveled well? Because news flash: IT STILL DOESN’T.
Kiki Layne in Chanel
As we noted earlier, Miss Kiki is taking the occasion of her introductory spin on the awards circuit to make some fairly interesting, if not exactly unchallenging style choices. That top is wildly overdesigned, but the look mostly works for her.
Laura Harrier in Altuzarra
Yow. Credit for going bold, but this is too much.
Lily Collins in Johanna Ortiz
The pleating and proportions are weird and a little unflattering. The dress feels more springtime than January to us.
Lupita Nyong’o in Jonathan Cohen
The dress is adorable but those shoes are all wrong. A much more toned-down red, or even better a brown or gray would be our recommendation. That bag doesn’t really go either, sorry to say.
Melissa McCarthy in Tadashi Shoji
It’s nice to see her trying something a little different for her, but this feels too fussy and gothy for her personality. And the shoes are too distracting.
It’s fine. Looks a little silly without a tie, though.
Olivia Colman in The Fold
Oh, lady. We love you too much to linger on this.
Rachel Brosnahan in Christian Siriano
We thought she looked questionable in that lemon yellow of the Golden Globes, but it turns out she can work a neon like no one’s business. This is boldly pretty and eye-catching. Not really sure the shoe choice was the right way to go but we respect the attempt.
Rachel Weisz in Prada
The seaming’s weird and the color is musty. It’s dramatic, though. We’ll give it that.
Regina King in Zac Posen
Miss Regina, getting the job done once again. The bust line is a little goofy, but that’s kind of expected with a Posen.
Divorced dad introducing his kids to his girlfriend. Step it up, sir. That gray streak demands better style choices.
Rosamund Pike in Givenchy
Surprisingly cute. The head styling seems a little too serious for it.
Thandie Newton in Azzedine Alaïa
We’re not convinced that skirt design works with that top but we can’t deny she looks pretty hot.
He is a precious fawn, but that sweater is dumb.
He is another precious fawn and we kind of want his sweater.
[Photo Credit: INSTARImages]