Smash: Hell on Earth

Posted on April 03, 2012

Hey, remember when we said this, in the early days of Smash blogging, when the world was our oyster and anything seemed possible?

Smash is no less a fantasy world (by virtue not only of being a musical, but of just being a TV show) but the entire tale is structured around the things Glee doesn’t or won’t show: the grinding rehearsals, the backstage and behind-the-scenes decision-making, the hiring, the money. It would be a little laughable to call this glossy drama, with endless scenes of people walking down very sanitized New York City streets, “gritty,” or even (god forbid) “realistic,” but when a character breaks into song you at least get the impression that she worked damn hard to get it right.”

Yeah, well. We’ll drink to that, because it’s obviously no longer true. Granted, it was no longer true when they did the bowling number last week either. But when Ivy and Karen –ugh, we can’t even type it; THAT’S how much we hated that scene — when Ivy and Karen charmed all of Times Square (with voices that carry for blocks without benefit of sound equipment, apparently) and momentarily forgot how much they loathe each other because… song, you guys; our heads lolled on our necks and our eyes rolled back. Song is magical now in the world of Smash. For instance, song can be used to show that Ivy is a drunken pill-popping mess who can’t get through a number on stage. But song can ALSO be used to depict that same character drinking even MORE, which suddenly makes her such a good performer that she can nail a song she hasn’t even rehearsed with a person she hates and a “band” she’s never seen before. Song, you guys. Magical.

Also: Tom is the type of gay who hates to even drink beer because it’s just so butch and he’s obsessed with the idea that all gay men fall on the proper continuum of gayness and display no traits that aren’t appropriately gay enough. In other words, he’s the kind of gay man who has no friends and dies alone. Or should, anyway. Although granted, sports-gay chorus boy is just as annoying.

Also: Julia’s family. We are forced to ask once again: Who gives a shit? Although it was nice to see that shithead get punched.

And finally: Eileen is something of an idiot for allowing Ellis to breathe.

Discuss. Because God knows we don’t want to this morning. Sorry, Smash-ians, this one was awful.


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