Justin Theroux in London

You have to be hot – and have single-digit body fat – in order to go out in public wearing a jacket that looks like this and not have people confuse you for a vagrant. It helps if you sprinkle the scene with paparazzi too, so we know we’re looking at someone important.

PinJustin Theroux leaves his hotel to go shopping in London.

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Our theory is that, in a vain attempt to evade the paps, he offered a homeless man 500 dollars for his jacket in order to disguise himself as someone poor and unfamous, not realizing that homeless people don’t wear patent leather shoes, Ray-bans, and jauntily tied scarves. Generally speaking, they’re not big on umbrellas either. Or hair product. Nor are they prone to walking out of 5-star boutique hotels. Not without a forcible escort, that is.

Jesus, Justin. You couldn’t give that poor homeless guy your umbrella? Or pay him in pounds, at least?

[Photo Credit: FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

• Guy on the Street
• Justin Theroux