Reese Witherspoon at a Local Newstand in Brentwood

Posted on August 07, 2014

This is some next-level sidewalk promenade shit going on here. Taylor Swift and Dakota Fanning can’t even be bothered to put anything in their expensive borrowed purses, but Miss Reese makes sure to not only load up on magazines, but to shop for them right on the sidewalk, in full view of photographers.

BRAVA, darling. Well freaking played.

 

 

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-Charlotte-Olympia-Saint-Laurent-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Reese Witherspoon stops by a local newstand in Brentwood, California to purchase a large stack of magazines wearing a Tbags Los Angeles top paired with  Charlotte Olympia Sandy Beaded Starfish sandals and a Saint Laurent Sac De Jour bag.

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-Charlotte-Olympia-Saint-Laurent-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO-(2B) Tbags Los Angeles Panama Top | Saint Laurent Sac De Jour Bag | Charlotte Olympia Sandy Beaded Starfish Sandal

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-Charlotte-Olympia-Saint-Laurent-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-Charlotte-Olympia-Saint-Laurent-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-Charlotte-Olympia-Saint-Laurent-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-Charlotte-Olympia-Saint-Laurent-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Reese-Witherspoon-GOTS-Charlotte-Olympia-Saint-Laurent-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

“Lalala. Hmmm. This one says Jennifer Lawrence is fat. Sold! This one says Ryan is a loser. Better get a second copy for my office. ‘Amy Adams’ Makeup Tips.’ GOD, no. Could you imagine?”

We’re telling you right now, and anyone who decides to write a think piece on this topic is free to quote us on this: In the Venn diagram space where fashion and celebrity overlap, the red carpet is no longer the primary venue for image craft or the primary tool for marketing brand awareness. The new celebrity catwalk is the sidewalk; from New York City to Beverly Hills, it’s all about sashaying down the street in ridiculously inappropriate outfits while pantomiming real world activities like parking, shopping or getting coffee. It’s only a matter of time before “Who are you wearing?” is going to somehow get worked into this charade. Since these events are photographed more than taped, we figure they’ll just start slapping extra large labels on everything. Or Post-It notes, if they don’t feel like being coy about it.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Stoianov/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, neimanmarcus.com, saksfifthavenue.com, http://tbagslosangeles.com/]

    • Thomas

      Thank God she didn’t wear the skirt on the model. That zipper is a crime against humanity.

      • spirit52

        …not to mention that too much of that print would scorch my eyeballs. Not loving the sandals.

        • BayTampaBay

          I don’t like the sandals either.

      • RussellH88

        Getting your genitals stuck in zippers, It’s not just for men anymore!

        • Thomas

          Yes, it is very “easy access” though lol

          • RussellH88

            Which could be a bad thing. Someone runs up and unzips you and your pink bat could take flight.

            • Kitten Mittons

              …pink bat…..

              Excuse me for a sec.

              *most definitely does not go to the restroom to figure that one out*

            • Lupe

              Did you see Jon Leguizamo in Freak? That’s the only other time I’ve heard a reference to the “pink bat”? Too funny!

        • jilly_d

          *SNORT*

        • Lisalady161

          *Nearly spitting Mocha on my keyboard* I love how you consistently say witty, funny things. You make my day, Russell, you really do!

          • RussellH88

            I try to stay sharp because I’m pretty sure that when I get older I’m inevitably going to turn into Martha from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

            • Lisalady161

              That’s my very favorite theatrical character and sweetie, I’m already there. When you join me I’ll have the drinks ready.

        • kimmeister

          Anyone who doesn’t have a Brazilian wax is going to be in a world of trouble with that zipper.

      • schadenfreudelicious

        But it’s perfect when your lady bits need some air! ;)

        • Kent Roby

          Some lady gardens need air, sunshine, weeding, etc.

      • http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

        Couldn’t agree more, Thomas. That makes every sewers nerve I have spurt into flame.

        • quiltrx

          It’s not *just* that it’s ugly and cheap-looking, it’s that there is crazy gapping/pulling at the bottom and it looks so stiff and paunch-inducing at the top. Plus, who wants the bottom of a zipper digging into her belly while she’s shopping for magazines?
          Well played as usual, Reese. Cute shorts.

        • ecallaw1977

          Ha. That one took me a minute. The first time I read it I thought of “sewer” as in system that carries urine and feces, and like TLo, I thought, “Wut…?”

          • kimmeister

            ME TOO!!

            • marlie

              Ditto!

          • Call me Bee

            That’s why some of us have started to call them “sewists”.

            • demidaemon

              What about “seamster?”

      • http://msavonelljrose.blogspot.com Avonell

        Swear this is the same thing I said to myself!

      • evave2

        That zipper takes the skirt in hideous. The top is cute. I LOVE the sandals.

        Does the purse look strange to anybody with the little handles stick straight up while she uses the long strap on her shoulder? My purses generally have an either/or look (not that I own anything like this cute little purse).

        Am I right to think that somebody calls somebody to say she’s out and about? Or are there always people trolling her area and since she does sidewalk couture all the time she’s the one always caught on film? I remember thinking Joe Manganiello looked like he really WAS out and about and doing things that gotta be done; here she looks posed. So is she posed because the camera guy came up to her or is she posing because
        she wants her picture taken?

        Also she DOES look like purse has something in it so I don’t dislike looking at her the way Taylor Swift just sets my brace-retainers on grind.

      • MartyBellerMask

        OK, I am late to the party, but YES. I was getting those emails.
        At first I thought it was trolls following me over from another site (where I *may* have pissed someone off), but I think it’s just garden variety trolls.
        Luckily, T Lo moderate this site very well and the comments get removed quickly. I’m not too worried about it anymore. :) Especially reading that I’m not the only one!

        • Thomas

          Thanks! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one too! They’re always about making money or something like that. So annoying

    • Dino Bonačić

      Reese is the prima-ballerina of street-walking! :)

      • StellaZafella

        Whenever I notice someone dressed upscale in an otherwise common situation (i.e. Grocery shopping in $300 shoes) I name it ‘Witherspooning’…I admit that it’s more than half envy.

        • Glam Dixie

          I’m totally stealing that. Brilliant.

          • StellaZafella

            Consider it in the public domain…

        • Kent Roby

          It’s so much better than “Swifting” (i.e pretending to shop for groceries while wearing a ball gown).

          • stellavision

            Don’t you mean going to the gym?

            • Kent Roby

              I was giving a real-world situation to apply the term to, but, yes, Tay seems to mainly “work out”.

        • KendraMR

          I guess I was Witherspooning it in Walmart with my $200 DVF sandals (that I got for <$30 brand new).

          • StellaZafella

            I say, go ahead, Witherspoon it the f**k up! And nobody needs to know what you ACTUALLY spent for the DVF’s!

          • quiltrx

            I hope you gave a knowing half-smirk to the People of Wal-Mart types.

            • KendraMR

              I always do ;-)

          • Call me Bee

            Oh yes. I do that all the time at Walgreen’s with my MK slouch bag (gotten at TJ Maxx on clearance for under $100)

      • schadenfreudelicious

        Touche!

      • butterflysunita

        She is really great at these “accidental” pap shots. Makes Taylor Swift look like such a rank amateur.

    • Capt. Renault

      This tour of hers is some real Andy Warhol Eating a Hamburger type stuff. Well done, Reese!

      • Thomas

        I’m starting to think that she might just do this dog and pony show for the bitter kittens now. We must keep cheering her on!

    • Mothra

      I am not convinced there’s anything in that handbag. I think I might be getting paranoid.

      • Sophie

        The magazines are too big for it, but there might be some keys and a banknote somewhere in that bag. Maybe.

    • mommyca

      How come she doesn’t have a subscription to all those magazines???? Uh?? :)

      • Thomas

        That was my first thought as well. That’s why this is so obviously staged.

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          It’s part of the lovely fiction that Reese is “just like us”-look, she buys magazines off the rack. I give her a tip of the hat for carrying this off.

          • butterflysunita

            I’m giving her extra points for not even having a handler–at least not a visible one. Very skillful.

            • bitchybitchybitchy

              Reese is quite masterful at this business. If there is a handler, she probably has them stay at a very discreet distance.

        • BayTampaBay

          My first thought too! Magazine Subscriptions are so cheap (most anyway) that they are practically paying you to subscribe.

          • Thomas

            I’d understand if she was buying one mag cause I do that sometimes, but a whole stack? Please…

      • TwiddlyStun

        I was thinking she could read them on a tablet and avoid all that paper waste.

        • mommyca

          But if you carry a tablet around you cannot show the “Rolex” ad appearing in the back of the magazine… Hey! Can I get a Rolex if I walk around town with one of those magazines????

      • FrigidDiva

        Or, why isn’t she sending some hapless minion out to go and get them for her? Her going out and buying them stretches all possibility of credulity but I do so enjoy watching her pretend to be a normal person.

      • decormaven

        She’s just secured herself a cover shot on some major mags for buying print. We in publishing salute you, Ms. Witherspoon!

      • Grumpy Girl

        Go for the complete fantasy: Ava is having a teen slumber party and Reese is stocking up for the young ladies to peruse while they paint each others toenails.

        • mommyca

          I love this theory! :)

      • quiltrx

        See, she did that on purpose, buying magazines she probably already has. To make us BK’s (she’s obviously doing some positive version of trolling us now) think she’s taking them to a sick friend or something.

    • MartyBellerMask

      Cute sandals.
      Has Reese sent you a fruit basket yet, T Lo?

      • Kent Roby

        Those are the absolute perfect casual summer sandals, really cute.

      • Grumpy Girl

        Do they have mesh on the sides? The side of her foot just looks blurry in the photos. If it’s mesh, I like it and want it to better disguise my awkward small toes. But if it’s plastic, no thanks. I love the overall impression of the sandals, though: cute.

        • Linda LaPaz

          If you click on the link, you’ll see it’s mesh.

          • Janet B

            Thank goodness, I was worried about her toes for a second.

    • Fuchsiaforever

      Brilliant Reese! I LOVE the Reese posts!!!! She’s such a pro! Brava!

    • FrauKrissie

      I wasn’t even going to open this post because I kinda wasn’t interested. However, the phenomenon happening here along with the assumed dialog in Miss Reese ‘ s head made this entirely worthwhile!

      • Janet B

        Even when you don’t care about the subject T Lo make it worth your time.

    • Glam Dixie

      This woman is out and about a ton. Doesn’t she ever just spend the day at home? This tour is exhausting, I really feel for her and understand that it’s been going on so long that her feet needed a day off from the heels, however I don’t care for those sandals very much. I got some way cuter at Target. Maybe you could take the tour there next.

    • Kitten Mittons

      I’m going to assume that this all went down exactly as photographed: Reese handles all the magazines, probably bending some corners and putting them back in the wrong spots, and then just walked away without paying. Because she’s Reese Fucking Witherspoon, and she does not trifle with dirty paper money.

      Not loving the outfit. The shorts look navy in that last pic, and it’s bugging the hell out of me. And those starfish on her feet are squishing her toes.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      Those starfish sandals are hilarious, but for some reason they make me think of the bathroom.

      • kimmeister

        Yes, they would make excellent anti-slip pads for the tub. As adult sandals, I think they’re kind of ugly and juvenile.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

          Yes, that’s it! I had a feeling it was a shower connection. Thanks.

    • leahpapa

      Short-waisted solidarity, yo. That crop top just looks like a proportional blouse on her, bless.

      • Peri7473

        Actually, i think that she is fairly well proportioned, just really short.

      • kimmeister

        I have the exact opposite problem. Cropped pants on others are regular pants on me.

    • elemspbee

      cute top. hate the shorts and the flat shoes.

    • Wink

      For some reason those sandals look more uncomfortable than most. And they look like red felt material.

    • RescueMe23

      I love the Reese sidewalk-catwalk this summer.. She knows how to work it.

    • Nikko Viquiera

      WOW. That Parking Lot Tour 2014 must have been really successful since she’s expanded to magazine stands.

    • Denise Rambo

      Those sandals are CUTE! But what is going on with the toes on her left foot? It almost looks like they’ve been blurred out in the photos. Weird.

      • lindsmh

        Illusion netting on shoes. You can see it on the pic of just the shoe. What is the world coming to??

    • Anna

      Coming soon: Reese being photographed at Barnes & Noble. With a copy of Everyone Wants to Be Me or Do Me. *make that happen Gossip Genie*

      • Frank_821

        okay Tlo’s people must arrange something with her people and we can all pretend it was a spontaneous coincidence

    • hillmeredith

      And now I will spend twenty minutes thinking about what magazines she bought. In other thoughts, the barbie pearls are getting to me a bit.

    • Anique Ashraf

      Those earrings take the look from upscale casual straight to upscale bitch. I love it.

    • sherrietee

      Those shoes are ridiculous.

    • Dany

      The skirt on the model’s photo is HIDEOUS

    • bessann28

      Reese always wears the cutest shoes.

    • Lisalady161

      Ooooh! It’s ‘Pretty Shoe Day’ at TLo central! Me likey, especially since those are shoes I could actually wear. Not afford, but wear.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

      I think it is part of a wider phenomenon of presuming 24-hour access to celebrities. We want them on instagram, we want them to retweet us on our birthdays, we want them to belong to us not just when they are performing. So shopping and going to the gym become part of the performance. Exhausting really.

      • Judy_J

        Its part of the “Celebrities! They’re just like us!” mentality.

      • FrigidDiva

        Agreed. I’m not sure I’d want to be a celebrity if part of my job function was telling my PR team to let the paps know where I’d happen to be so they could snap a picture of me “acting normal”, then again it seems like if you’re genuinely talented you don’t have to work so hard to stay relevent, ala Taylor “Try-Hard” Swift.

      • Janet B

        I guess that’s why some want to be known as “actors”.
        /end snooty voice

    • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

      I COVET. THOSE. FREAKING. SANDALS.

    • SewingSiren

      Holy crap! How much money does she spend at the newsstand in one go?

      • Grumpy Girl

        I think the same thing with Mr Grump. Maybe if he realizes who else is in his buying too many expensive magazines club, the lightbulb will go on for him?

    • your face

      Wow, that is a lot of magazines. I receive one magazine weekly, and I find it difficult to keep up with it. Her giant stack gave me anxiety sweats just thinking about how frantically I’d need to plow through them before the next ones show up.

      However, she is my ideal plane seatmate. Lots of magazines and narrow shoulders, and probably not too chatty.

    • Shelby

      I covet that purse.

    • ovarB

      In the Hunger Games that is Hollywood celebrity and fame, Reese is the quintessential Katniss vying for the affections of sponsors.

      Spot on commentary about the sidewalk being the new catwalk. Time for reinvention and La Reese is the lead inventor.

    • Radish

      I feel like I’m the only one who hates the sandals..?

      • FrigidDiva

        I like them…for a toddler. Then again, I have wide feet, so I’d never be able to wear such constricting sandals like that so I may be suffering from irrational foot envy.

      • FibonacciSequins

        You’re not the only one. Someone else pointed out they have illusion netting. They were ugly enough without it.

        • MilaXX

          I guess the illusion netting is insurance against runaway pinky toes.

        • Radish

          Oooh that’s what’s up with her toes. I was wondering!

        • ktr33

          ILLUSION NETTING! gawd, no! I didn’t even like them without noticing that. ok, completely unacceptable.

    • Bonnie Blue

      I wouldn’t mind living her lifestyle for just a few days. She’s out and about in the sunshine in pretty outfits and purses. I’m sitting in a cubicle and I haven’t seen the sun in 27 years at this place.

    • SugarSnap108

      That is some stack of mags. She really does have a lot of free time, I guess.

      The outfit is very cute. Perfect choice to lose that hideous skirt on the model.

      • Shawn EH

        You said it! I love her need to have all the magazines, likes she’s going to set up at Starbucks for the next three hours. Love the shorts and shoes.

    • mommyca

      TLo, the links for the bag and the sandals are mixed up :)
      ($2000 for the bag!!! and you cannot even fit those magazines in!!!)

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        Thanks! Fixed : )

        • mommyca

          No problem! :)

    • nannypoo

      You know, Reese, you can sign up to get these delivered right to your house. We call that a “subscription”.

      • frannyprof

        Subsciptions are for peasants, dontcha know?! ;-)

      • PastryGoddess

        Oh don’t ruin it for the rest of us!

    • NWMothra

      Really poor fitting shorts. Gapping side pockets, pooching front, ugh.

      • frannyprof

        I know, right? She tends to wear shorts and skirts that make her look poochy, and we know she’s a size 000. Part of me (the shallow part) appreciates her “real world” (celebrity edition) approach to dressing..

    • frannyprof

      Reese is Queen of the Sidewalk Catwalk, no question. But no one, NO ONE, will ever beat Ms. Britney’s 2004 Summer Barefoot Tour of Public Restrooms. Epic.

    • Karen Belgrad

      So, in addition to PLITFU, Reese is now going to SWITFU up too? (yes, I know sidewalk is one word, but SW looks better than S)

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      She looks good, but those flat sandals make my feet hurt just looking at them.

    • Shalhevet

      Cute sandals. Love the vivid red.

    • http://msavonelljrose.blogspot.com Avonell

      Lovely chic little outfit for her! Looks great!

    • Imasewsure

      Broken record… she’s too old for her outfit (even though she looks cute)… new comment…. those shoes are ug

    • Loladog10

      But…but…maybe she really is buying magazines?! High-brow things like Foreign Affairs, Harper’s, and The Atlantic? She ought to pull a Steven Cobert and promote a cover story or two. Anyway, the hell with the outfit. That is one BEAUTIFUL looking newsstand!!!!!

    • Ann VerWiebe

      That seriously is a LOT of magazines! And I thought I had a print journalism issue.

    • MilaXX

      This is why Reese is the queen of the sidewalk/parking stroll. You almost believe this is a real moment.

    • fromanotherplanet

      Every time I see her I think of “I’m an A-ME-RUUUU-CAAAN citizen.”

    • jahphotogal

      So just to be clear. You are telling us who are ignorant of the nuts and bolts of celebrity culture, that clothing designers give celebs clothes with the understanding that they will take a walk to the corner store, and tip off the paparazzi when and where they are going, and that’s it, that’s the deal? Designer gets publicity, actress gets pretty clothes to keep (I assume?) and and an ego boost? Is there more to the equation?

    • Eclectic Mayhem

      I never wear shorts (my legs are so peely wally they glow in the dark) but I kinda like those shorts.

    • marlie

      This is one of the first of Reese’s sidewalk looks that I don’t like. I HATE the top, and the shoes are too cutesy for me. Still, I’ll take that purse.

      And is stocking up for a long flight or something? Maybe a few days of R&R at the beach?

    • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

      The caption on the photo has me in hysterics: “to purchase a large stack of magazines.” Seriously, is she making a collage? An inspiration board? I didn’t even buy that many magazines in one go when I was planning my wedding! There can be no doubt that she looks cute and perfectly turned out.

    • V No Privacy

      Does Reese and others like her (Taytay S., Dakota, etc.) get paid for these outings? Just curious.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      And the title of the think piece will be, “Celebrities! They’re Just Like Us!”
      Maybe when she’s finished all this reading she can send the magazines to Taylor, who can then read them during the hundreds of hours she spends at the gym.
      (BTW, she’s got $50 worth of magazines there, easy. I know that’s probably the size of the tip she leaves for the parking attendant, but still….)

    • Columbinia

      I don’t get why Ms. Witherspoon is participating in these photo pantomimes. Doesn’t she have children and a life? Doesn’t she have more stature than this?

    • Trishington

      I’m starting to feel a little sorry for her. She’s trying soooooooo hard to be young and cute. It’s just sad because she’s just naturally cute and doesn’t have to try so hard. I have $5 that says this time next year she’ll have jumped on the Juvederm/Restylane bandwagon and have lips twice the size of Meg Ryan’s. Although, the good news will be that Meg will get a free injection for having referred Reese.

    • Jane Patterson

      The one time she knows she is going to be buying a lot of bulky things is when she DOESN”T carry a huge bag?

    • ktr33

      She looks cute, to me, *despite* the ugly top, questionable sandals, and — sorry — an empty, tho really pretty, bag. I like the bun and the shades. That’s it. WAIT! that illusion netting on the sandals was just brought to my attention, which moves them from “questionable” to unquestionably awful.

    • vickilu

      “Thanks for drinking Starbucks, what name should we write on your cup?”

      – “Hm? Oh, Prada.”

    • http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

      Are her feet photoshopped? They look kinda funny.

    • SophieCollier

      This outfit is too cute! I love the starfish sandals.

      • HeisenbergHattie

        Thanks for figuring out the sandals. I need coffee.

    • Ali2044

      The only way this could be better is if all those magazines were porn.

    • lobsterlen

      Obviously Reese is collecting all those magazines to cut out pictures of her “enemies” for her Voodoo altar. Thank goodness she didn’t wear that skirt its horrible.