Jessica Alba in Katharine Kidd in New York

Posted on August 14, 2014

We’re afraid we’re going to have to call this outfit a fail, Miss Jessica.

Oh, we’re just kidding! We’re not afraid to say that at ALL. Also not afraid to say: DUMBEST SHOES EVER. Or at least, dumbest this week.


Jessica-Alba-GOTSNYC-Katharine-Kidd-Giuseppe-Zanotti-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jessica Alba seen leaving her hotel on her way to the BET studio for a guest appearance on “106 & Park” in New York City wearing a Katharine Kidd ‘Blackthorne’ skirt paired with a black satin bustier and navy blazer and Giuseppe Zanotti sandals.

Jessica-Alba-GOTSNYC-Katharine-Kidd-Giuseppe-Zanotti-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (2)Katharine Kidd ‘Blackthorne’ Skirt | Giuseppe Zanotti Safety Pin Detail Sandal

Jessica-Alba-GOTSNYC-Katharine-Kidd-Giuseppe-Zanotti-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Jessica-Alba-GOTSNYC-Katharine-Kidd-Giuseppe-Zanotti-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Jessica-Alba-GOTSNYC-Katharine-Kidd-Giuseppe-Zanotti-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (5)

Jessica-Alba-GOTSNYC-Katharine-Kidd-Giuseppe-Zanotti-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (6)

The skirt’s nice enough, but everything else is either drably boring (the jacket, bustier, and clutch) or somewhat silly-looking (the diaper shoes). And why on earth would you wear a bustier with such a high-waisted skirt? The proportions are terrible and makes it look like her boobs are situated an inch above her belly button.

Diaper shoes. Honestly.





[Photo Credit: GG/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Katharine Kidd,]

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  • PastryGoddess

    Thank you for playing this round of Fashion Promenade. Unfortunately you lose. Please try again next time

  • SewingSiren

    Nice dress Jessie you’ve worn it to the office Christmas party 3 years straight and it looks good every time.

  • kimmeister

    She certainly likes that flattened mini pillow of a clutch.

  • NMMagpie

    Those shoes look like a Project Accessory challenge.

  • Audrey Lee

    Those shoes look like deflated bondage balloons. Yikes.

  • Glam Dixie

    She’s reminding me of the time my husbands grandmother lifted her shirt about an inch above the waistband of her pants and flashed us her bra but grandmas shoes were better.

    • demidaemon

      Grandma sounds amazing.

  • GeoDiva

    Those ugly ass shoes retail for $995 but are currently on sale for $497.50! I would consider giving you $4.97 for them so my dog as a new chew toy!

  • Sarah

    The mulletry on that skirt is neither here-nor-there, and just makes it look like a hem malfunction. She shoulda used some of those superfluous diaper pins to fix it.

  • marlie

    Ditch the bustier, and add a white tee or tank, and the outfit would be ok. But those shoes, not so much.

    • MilaXX

      She really likes that clutch though. I guess that’s actually her own bag.

    • Rhonda Shore

      Ugh, the bustier looks like a leotard.

  • Deva

    Oh God please don’t end the day on the the same boring celebrity socialite!

  • Thomas

    Those shoes look so cheap for $500 (originally $1000) and the clutch looks cheap too. What does she even do these days? She’s another one of those celebs with a lifestyle brand, right?

    • MilaXX

      She has a business of baby care products. However, currently she’s poledancing dancing for SIn City II. The odd thing is the movie has a host of stars in it, but it seems like she and Mickey Rourke are the only ones promoting it. BTW google Mickey Rourke and get a gander at the wacky lacefront he is sorting during his poledance.

      • Thomas

        OMG He looks ridonkulous! Well, I guess it goes with his messed up face. What a shame that he ruined his looks.

      • FibonacciSequins

        And his jeggings. Total trainwreck.

      • Violentcello

        It’s a damn shame because I’d love to see a little Joseph Gordon Levitt poledance.

      • demidaemon

        I just don’t get her. She finally has a project worth schilling and she’s out in Barbie dresses and mall clothes when she should be shooting for classy sexpot. MAKES. NO. SENSE.

        • Balancing her business needs – assuming her character hasn’t been to college and become a lawyer since the last one, the sexpot outfits she should wear for the Sin City poledance might undermine her credibility as a Mother and a Person selling babycare.

          • decormaven

            She’s in a delicate place then. Can’t sex it up to push her babycare line and can’t be too tame for the “hotness” needed to draw fans to Sin City II. Maybe she wore the diaper pin shoes to appeal to the babycare product buyers.

          • demidaemon

            Considering how ugly they are, it’s a fail.

          • demidaemon

            I can see that. But I think there could be a nice compromise between my critique above and a more, streamlined classically sexy look.

  • ktr33

    The model’s version is actually super-cute. A rare-ish sitch where she could’ve probably one full-outfit, and it would worked nicely.

  • clatie

    she looks like a bridesmaid in a winter wedding. 🙁

  • MilaXX

    LOL. I had to scroll down and look at the what pair of shoes could possibly be worse than her hideous silver stripper shoes from the other day. Yet again. #ShoeFail Girl those aren’t your shoes. Pack them up and send them to Katy Perry. They’ll still look silly, but she’ll work some stupid theme around them to at least make it amusing.

  • Gatto Nero

    Well, her face is pretty.

  • teensmom99

    Hey, please no body snarking about those of us whose boobs are situated an inch above our belly buttons.

    • It didn’t read so much as bodysnarking as saying the outfit misrepresents her body.

      • teensmom99

        As one of the droopy-boobed, I was kidding. Next time I’ll add one of these 😉

  • J.W.

    Yes…diaper shoes! Interesting day for shoes…first pickled pigs feet shoes and then diaper shoes!

  • gingerella

    “They told me I could shorten this bridesmaid dress and wear it again.”

    • FibonacciSequins

      Have an upvote.

  • kimmeister

    To me, the shoes don’t read so much “diaper” as “OMG my shoe just fell apart in public, good thing I have this safety pin to keep them from falling off my feet.”

    • Courtney

      Totally though the same thing.

  • Adrianna Grężak

    She looks like Sarah Jessica Parker. That’s not a compliment.

  • I wish she had kept the original white skirt and the belt paired with it. Would have elevated the look.

  • ‘Becca’lise Deveaux

    Hahaha you guys are such bitches, I love it.

  • evave2

    I can’t get past the shoes, but nothing else goes together either. But I positively HATE the shoes.

  • uprightcitizen

    Weren’t we seeing a “70s dance instructor” mini trend the last couple weeks? In that context, the top and skirt make sense. It’s not a stretch from what all my theatre friends wore in high school in 1979. The shoes are ridiculous. Are they trying to be punk?

  • amanda siegelson

    do you think giuseppe thinks the shoes are “punk”? maybe he is the one who convinced jessica to tote the leopard clutch to go along with them.

    if that’s the case, he is wrong. the outfit befits the star – they leave me feeling meh.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Is that her bodyguard in the first picture expression his displeasure at her outfit via duckface?

  • Columbinia

    I don’t understand the fishtail hem on the back of the skirt. The whole thing looks like it was put together after a long, cheap shopping spree through several second-hand or vintage stores.

  • Anna

    Her handler looks like he doesn’t approve of this either.

  • musi_

    shoes are hiddy

  • Violentcello

    Ditch the blazer, drop that hem to the ground and you’ve got my homecoming dress. Not even kidding.

  • grasshack

    gads! the papparazi piture… almost makes me feel sorry for celebrities

  • cocohall

    I can hear Michael Kors saying “Who is your girl and where is she going?” If only someone had asked Miss Alba these questions. Who ARE you? Where are you going? And are you aware there will be cameras documenting every step of your journey, miss? It feels like she put on the skirt and top and knew there was something amiss and thought a jacket would help. And then that wasn’t quite right, so she added the shoes. And it was STILL off and she thought, all these solids need a pop of pattern. THAT’S what’s missing! And then her assistant said, honey the car is here. Poor girl. This isn’t running out to pick up bagels and maybe no one will see – she is going on TV in NYC.

    • demidaemon

      I feel like I ask that question whenever she is showcased, because I just don’t get her or her PR strategy. See my response above to Thomas and MilaXX.

      • cocohall

        Yes, she is on the horns of a dilemma. And it shows. It’s like she is doing battle inside her closet and she emerges looking like this – neither side is the clear winner, but it does not appear to be a negotiated peace either.

        • demidaemon

          She’s definitely not the Switzerland of fashion. More like the North and the South during the Civil War.

  • spirit52


  • JynxTheCat

    Drab and boring are her main thang if you ask me.

  • Joey Melliza

    Even he didn’t like what she was wearing

  • demidaemon

    WOW. Even when something is hideous, it still seems blah on her. Bravo, Jessica, bravo.

  • Imho

    She look fabolous, you are all nuts. Sometimes t&lo criticize just to criticize. And you all follow the lead.

    • Why can’t you just say you disagree? Why be a jerk about it?

  • Sophie

    The molded leather on the shoes made me think of those venitian masks tourists can buy in every town in Italy, so I don’t mind them. I like the jacket and skirt, hate the bag.

  • Chuck Barthelme

    Also, your bodyguard has all three buttons of a three button suit buttoned. NO!

  • HeisenbergHattie

    Jessica’s lookout-man is very sharp!

  • MaggieMae

    I saw the thumbnail and thought, “It looks like she is being escorted out of the courthouse”. Then, always ready to avoid work, I began to imagine who she is and what crime she is accused of.

    • MarissaLG

      The crime of Bad Taste! The most heinous of all the Crimes of Fashion.

  • Town

    Maybe the diaper shoes are to promote her Honest Company diapers?

  • anotherkate

    Aw, I like the clutch! Actually the only things I don’t like here are the bustier and the shoes. This is why I am not a fashion icon, I suppose.

  • Clash D

    Those shoes look like a failed DIY craft project. Haha.

  • ktr33

    She looks so sad in all her recent pix, and while I’m not generally one to “feel bad” for celebs, I kind of feel bad for her. She is definitely hating this promo tour she’s on.