Jennifer Lopez in Valentino at “American Idol” New Orleans Auditions Event

Posted on August 28, 2014

This instantly made us upset that they gave the “Latina Rosemary’s Baby” part to Zoe Saldana because J Lo would have kicked devil ass in the remake.

Jennifer-Lopez-Valentino-America-Idol-New-Orleans-Auditions-Event-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (1)Jennifer Lopez at “America Idol” auditions event at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center in New Orleans, Louisiana in a Valentino bow-embellished mini dress from the Pre-Fall 2014 collection paired with Casadei ‘Blade’ pumps.

Jennifer-Lopez-Valentino-America-Idol-New-Orleans-Auditions-Event-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO-(6)Valentino Pre-Fall 2014 Collection

Jennifer-Lopez-Valentino-America-Idol-New-Orleans-Auditions-Event-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (3)

Jennifer-Lopez-Valentino-America-Idol-New-Orleans-Auditions-Event-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (4)

Jennifer-Lopez-Valentino-America-Idol-New-Orleans-Auditions-Event-Tom-LOrenzo-Site-TLO (5)

J Lo’s version of Rosemary would have a string of teenage lovers and a stack of luxury good endorsement contracts for her and her little demonspawn. J Lo’s version of Rosemary would be great at accessorizing and never wear pants. J Lo’s version of Rosemary would teach her demon baby to be FIERCE. J Lo’s version of Rosemary would have superior pony-tailing skills.

We’d have watched the HELL out of that.

 

 

 

 

 
[Photo Credit: Getty Images, Valentino]

    • Noah

      J Lo’s Rosemary would have eyeshadow reminiscent of two shiners, apparently.

      • AlisonS

        This is the comment I was going to make…. but on point with the post and way more cleaver than “Who the fuck fucked up her shadow?” I’ll just bow out now…

        • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

          Yeah, I love the dress but my first thought was, “Did she piss off her makeup artist?” Way harsh paint.

          I did not know they were remaking Rosemary’s Baby! Zoe will rock the park avenue princess look her own way, I’m sure.

          Funny – if you put “Latina Rosemary’s Baby” into a Google Image search, you get pictures of not just Zoe Saldana in the role, but also some REALLY hokey shots of Jessica Alba in blond wigs looking ridiculous. Who are these people who think she looks good as a blonde? I do not understand it. The shot of Alba looking at the baby carriage is straight up cheesy telenovela (with adults playing children) shmaltz.

          • demidaemon

            That’s interesting. I’m wondering why it brings up the Alba images.

            • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

              I think it was in “Latina” magazine. And it looks like it was a horror movie themed spread – there are also Scream and Psycho themed photos.

            • demidaemon

              Well, that is exactly not the well I would go for Alba. She doesn’t have the personality or presence to pull it off.

            • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

              Yeah she just looks kind of awkward and campy in all the pictures, and I’m not sure that’s what they were going for.
              Also, all the blonde wigs. Just… WHY.

            • demidaemon

              It does feel a little off message for “Latina” magazine, no?

            • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

              Well, Jessica Alba is Latina. I’m not sure what’s off-message about it.

            • demidaemon

              Exchanging her natural hair for blonde and putting her in a horror based editorial.

            • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

              Eh. Horror movies are watched by pretty much everyone.
              And the blonde is only really weird to me because it looks so bad on her – I don’t know who on her team is convinced she has Hitchcock-style feature (see also her turn as Sue Storm with the fakest blue contacts ever) but she really does not.

              But blonde hair being off-message for Latina mag? Nah, not with Shakira, Christina Aguilera, Cameron Diaz, and Sofia Vergara (Vergara having to dye her hair dark for her role on Modern Family to make her “more” Latina-looking is weirder to me.)

            • demidaemon

              I see your point.

    • Glam Dixie

      It’s covered up, demure, and unexpected coming from her but it’s also a bit drab and that is not her hairdo.

      • Violentcello

        And here I thought the bow, long tie and scalloped hem made it a little twee for JLo. Imagine, a dress that is both drab and twee.

        • Glam Dixie

          Ha! Maybe it only seems drab to me because her VMA dress is still seared into my brain. Most anything is drab after that one.

          • Violentcello

            Ah, yes, THAT dress. You’re completely right, of course. Anything after The Dress will be drab. Does that mean she peaked back in, what, 2002?

            • Glam Dixie

              I was referring to the one from this Sunday’s VMA’s but I know exactly the gown of which you speak.

    • Chuck Barthelme

      What’s with the makeup? I also think the effect would have been better if the black didn’t get wider toward the hem.

      • Clash D

        Her makeup has been horrendous of late. I wonder if she lets her kids do it for her.

    • Comfy

      I guess it would have skewed too schoolgirl if she had a cleaner face but, damn, that eye-makeup is scary dark.

    • @Biting Panda

      Lady, this is not your look. Oooft.

    • Gatto Nero

      Naughty schoolmarm.

    • RussellH88

      I just imagine that J.Lo’s Rosemary would have to push extra hard during her delivery. Once for the head and again for the baby’s ass.

      • decormaven

        Naughty, but you made me laugh! Well played.

      • Kent Roby

        It must be Hell to have Satan’s baby.

        • Sherilyne Cox

          I will ask my brother-in-law’s mother. If he sees this, it could be my very last post.

    • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

      WAYYYY too buttoned up for JLo. I almost prefer her VMAs look.

    • LilyVanessi

      Can I get you another cup of coffee – or more pancakes?

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        Or bottomless fries? ;)

      • Targettaste

        Or a pound of See’s candy?

    • Kitten Mittons

      I love a scalloped hem, so I want to like this. But that necktie-becoming-one-with-the-dress thing is just so odd. Styling is….beyond odd.

      • Vegas Girl

        That’s what I don’t like also. Would be a really cute dress without that.

        • Grumpy Girl

          I am curious to know what that dress looks like without the necktie. Does the black band go all the way up into a point at the collar? Is the necktie attached?

          • Kitten Mittons

            Ditto. What the hell is happening under that big floppy tie? I need answers.

            • BayTampaBay

              Inquiring minds want to know!

      • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

        I’m SO WITH YOU on the scalloped hem love. J.Crew has a great shift dress with a scalloped hem that I’ve been admiring from afar for months and months.

        • Kitten Mittons

          Does it have scalloped straps as well? If so, that’s a gorgeous dress. I’ll save my pennies.

          • http://fibonaccisequins.storenvy.com/ Danielle

            Yep, that’s the one!

    • numenah

      Perhaps Catherine Deneuve in her heyday or Alexa Chung, but no, JLo, no.

      • alyce1213

        Oh boy, you hit the nail on the head — Umbrellas of Cherbourg, etc., with the little collar.
        Alexa Chung too, because she dresses juvenile and always short.

    • papillon

      I would wear this dress (not really though cause I don’t have the legs for it) so I automatically love it. And it’s VERY different from J.Lo’s usual style. I think her hair and make up look too severe though. I also feel like this is a younger person’s outfit. Chloe hun, this is the kind of thing you can wear!

      Seriously though, I LOVE this dress so much. It even has pockets.

      • Tlazolteotl

        I love a dress or skirt with pockets.

    • Sanglots longs

      JLo’s Rosemary killed, plucked, and ate Col. Sanders, then appropriated his outfit.

    • Miss wks

      The Demure-Cut-a-Bitch Dress.

    • hughman

      You can just see on her face how absolutely devastated she is to be trolling Convention Centers around America to shill her little dog and pony show.

      Oh wait, that’s her makeup.

    • Denise Rambo

      She looks like she really doesn’t feel well.

      • jen

        Yes! Her eyes look tired.

    • RescueMe23

      She’s regressing to younger and younger looking clothes. Soon they’ll be wheeling her out on the RC in a stroller with a bonnet.

      • Glam Dixie

        Omg, I just got such a flashback to the cartoon of the baby in the stoller and bonnet that talked like a gangster and smoked a cigar. JLo could rock that so hard.

        • decormaven

          Baby Herman?

          • Glam Dixie

            Was that it? I just know it was from the Bugs Bunny cartoons.

            • decormaven

              Baby Herman is from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I think there also was a Looney Tunes with a baby-faced gangster and Bugs Bunny.

      • decormaven

        “I’ll wear rompers and come in rolling a hoop if you like…”

    • gloriana232

      I kind of love this. It’s so different and I love that she’s mixing it up. I don’t know WHY but all the same.

    • Froggae

      OMG I love this. Totally unexpected for JLO, but she works it. Loosen that ponytail a millimeter though.

    • elemspbee

      cute dress, so back to school. Just wrong wearer. Not so cute face; indeed ready for a slasher/horror movie.

    • Jeff Warhurst

      I can get behind her being one of the most beautiful women in the world, but as far as acting talent goes, Selena was her high point.

      • Chattygal

        I’d vote for Out of Sight.

    • IAmJ

      Are my eyes playing a trick on me or were Photoshop crimes perpetrated on her left shin in the first photo?

      • LibKat

        I think that may be a failure of contouring makeup. Once you brought it up, I noticed her legs look very streaky.

    • LibKat

      Unexpected look, but then she makes it very JLo with all the sparklies on her arms and the smokey eye of death.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Now that is a remake of Rosemary’s Baby that I would have watched, too.Not to mention that in that version JLo’s Rosemary would have had Satan whimpering for more punishment, please.

    • Jackie4g

      She’s in her forties now, so I think this is a little young. I like the idea of the black tie, but the collar and short sleeves remind me of Mary Quant and the Mods of the 1960s.

    • Kate Andrews

      I think the time has come for a re-screening of Enough. Amirite, ladies, or what?

    • ashtangajunkie

      I prefer my JLo to be more “Hola, lovers” and less “Let me show you to your table.”

    • MilaXX

      I’m really liking her look here. She could have done without the rings and the pink bracelet, but I’m loving everything else.

      • demidaemon

        Thank you. I was afraid I was alone in my adoration.

    • papillon

      Also wow, Zoe Saldana is in EVERYTHING these days. It also seems kind of ironic that she’s going to be the mother in Rosemary’s baby (I assume) when she’s about to have her own kids.

      • kerryev

        I can only hope that will be cathartic because there is already plenty to be terrified of while pregnant.

    • http://instagram.com/nevareese International Model

      J.Losemary would know how to deal with an out of work husband.

    • marlie

      What on Earth happened with JLo’s makeup? It’s so bad she’s almost unrecognizable. She also looks like she *really* doesn’t want to be there.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Jennifer Lopez stars in “Sister Wives”.

    • Little_Olive

      OMG, this is SO not her look. Girl, take it off. This is not how yo so damage control after your MTV VMA’s non-dress.

    • kipper

      Shades of Mary Quant!

    • lilibetp

      Isn’t this the same dress Alyssa Milano wore to NASDAQ?

    • Nika E

      Not for her. Not at all. She looks ridiculous.

    • ThaliaMenninger

      I find myself strangely loving this look for her, as “Wednesday Adams trying to be cheery” as it is.

    • Laura Livingston

      Love the dress….but she manages to look both twee and matronly. Great legs, though. Give this dress to Lucy Liu, stat.

    • VCR1

      Glamorous see’s candy lady

    • gingerella

      As my late Irish great-grandmother would say, “Mutton dressed as lamb.”

    • SierraDelta

      J Lo’s demon spawn would have his eyes gouged out with Mama’s pointy talons.

    • http://grandmassewingcabinet.com/ DrJulieAnn

      My eyes just keep gravitating toward the puckering darts and sleeves.

    • SuzyQuzey

      NO. This is just too young for her. No matter how many virgins’ blood she drinks.

    • alliekat9090

      I would have loved to see her wear the shoes that the model has on. That would have been a scream. Rosemary is my all time favorite fashion look but I’m afraid it just isnt right for JLo, but at least she tried something different.

    • Therese Bohn

      I instantly thought, “Why is she making a 1970’s airplane disaster movie?” Cue Karen Black in the Stewardess Kitchenette!

      • Chattygal

        Yes! She looks like she should be pushing a beverage cart.

        • Therese Bohn

          Perfect!

    • Imasewsure

      This is a combo of Naughty Nurse and Naughty Catholic School Girl but not in a good way…glad she’s playing with her style but this one….no

    • Wink

      That is Taylor Swift’s dress.

    • Kaonashi

      For some strange reason I like this.

    • kim bunchalastnames

      ADORABLE dress. for kiernan shipka.

    • GillianHolroyd

      oh wow, this is bad from head to toe.

    • GemFemme

      She looks bad. Just all over bad. Hair, make-up, dress.

    • Man Dala

      It’s a beautiful dress and she carries it on well, but the makeup is too harsh and makes her look exhausted. Maybe she is.

    • http://loccatec.org/ Darrell Jackson

      What is this look Jennifer is trying to pull off? she looks like an over aged school girl with a kooky smile.

    • Kate

      super cute dress — ugg, the eye shadow

    • demidaemon

      This is pretty fierce and a bit out of her usual wheelhouse. LOVE IT.

    • roche

      The dress is cute but she’s looking a little embalmed in the makeup department.

    • vickilu

      Are those bumps on her forehead from botox?

    • quiltrx

      That’s not HER dress, but it’s a really cute one. (maybe that’s why it’s not hers?)

    • Guest

      J.Leo’s version of Rosemary works at See’s candy, evidently.

    • Big Bear

      Not her dress but she still looks amazing. I suspect black magic.

    • Tuneful54

      I applaud her for the attempt to not dress like a 20-year-old or pole dancer, and hope to see more outfits that work better in the future.

    • CJ Guziewicz

      She looks like she’s auditioning for “Devious Maids”

    • dschubba

      She sort of looks like a knock-off Janelle Monaé from the waist up.

    • JTou

      Pushing that sleepy schoolmarm look are we J Lo? She’s obviously bored with the dress, and I with her. Bleh.
      And to think, she was the popular big booty before Nicki Minaj was birthed.

    • Columbinia

      Aha. I thought perhaps she was auditioning for the Latina version of Nabokov’s “Lolita.”

    • musi_

      not loving the make up at all

    • KT

      J Lo taking over Mia Farrow’s iconic role is a joke, sorry. Also, that makeup is horrendous, the dress looks silly and weird, but I will say her legs remain quite enviable!