HBO’s Emmys 2014 After Party Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on August 27, 2014

Darlings, let’s close out our Emmys red carpet coverage by hanging around for a little while on the ugliest red carpet of them all! A place so magical, that it renders every single outfit displayed on it as eye-searingly ugly! It’s a magic carpet ride, kittens!

Seriously, it’s like the Partridge Family exploded or something.

 

 

Holland Roden in Catherine Deane
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If we had to describe this dress to a blind person we’d say “It’s bathroom-colored.” Aside from that, we got nothing. It’s fine. Doesn’t feel very fresh, though.

 

 

Jim Parsons in Giorgio Armani
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Happy nerd. Pants look a little long to us. In fact nothing really looks like it fits well.

Or maybe he’s just drunk.

 

 

Angie Harmon
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Upholstery.

 

 

Lorraine Toussaint
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Ohhhhhh no. This is is disappointing. She gave such an amazing, sensual, charismatic performance on Orange is the New Black, and here she is, serving up Michelle Obama. It’s all right, but she could look a lot fiercer than this.

 

 

Jaimie Alexander in Armani
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Spent the night smirking over the fact that her dress was the only one that looked good on that carpet.

We dig the look, but we wouldn’t mind seeing that hem taken up an inch or two.

 

 

Idris Elba in Gucci
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We know he’s everyone’s fantasy right now, but he has a talent for making really expensive clothing look off the rack. You’d never know that was a Gucci tuxedo.

 

 

Malin Akerman in Martin Grant
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We literally recoiled from this.

 

 

 

Alexandra Daddario in Reem Acra
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Brava, darling. You wore the most naked naked dress of the night. You must have inspired thousands of double-takes.

 

 

Kelly Rutherford
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 It was sweet of her to stop by in the middle of her dental surgery, but really, she should get back into that chair pronto. What a trooper, though. Let’s hear it for Kelly, you guys.

 

 

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau in Salvatore Ferragamo
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He’s adorable, but that jacket gap is too wide.

 

 

Anne Heche
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 Enh. Generic.

 

 

Jason Biggs
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Is there anything worse than someone smirking who has no good reason to be smirking?

 

 

Anna Camp in Lorena Sarbu
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“I don’t care if it is a cable network after-party, I AM GOING DRESSED AS A FUCKING PRINCESS, ALL RIGHT?”

 

Amy Brenneman in Alice + Olivia
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 She looks like the back half of a pantomime elephant costume.

 

 

Cary Fukunaga in Dolce&Gabbana
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Yet another ill-fitting tux.

He can get it.

 

 

Julie Benz
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 Gets the job done.

 

 

Judy Greer in Alice + Olivia
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 We kinda dig this, but it feels like it’s missing something. Thoughts?

 

 

Aaron Paul in Prada
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 One of the few well-fitted tuxes (although his sleeves are always a skosh long).

 

 

 

Kate Mara
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Ready to party. We have no issues. The shoes work better here than they did with the gown she wore earlier.

 

 

Kim Dickens
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Simple, but it looks good. Nice color on her.

 

 

Maria Menounos in Johanna Johnson
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 Girl, that’s some tacky-ass shit.

 

 

Sufe Bradshaw
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It’s kind hard to assess this under this lighting. It looks a little drab and serious to us.

 

 

Sarah Hyland in Paule Ka
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“ALL BITCHES STEP OFF. I’M HITTING THE DANCE FLOOR TONIGHT.

And leaving with your man.”

 

 

Kit Harington in Emporio Armani
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 This guy should give half his salary to the Game of Thrones cinematographers and editors. All we’re sayin’.

 

 

Rosanna Arquette
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Mob wife.

 

 

Lizzy Caplan in Roland Mouret
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This lady was totally on her A game the whole night. We’re ready to declare her the best-dressed person on television right now. It’s a great look, but the shoes really make it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Izumi Hasegawa/PRPhotos.com, Celebrity Monitor/PacificCoastNews, Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com]

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