We’ll present your regularly scheduled Revenge review in a moment. First, some gloating.
WE CALLED IT, BITCHES. We can’t say WHAT we called because the first couple lines of a post show up on the front page and then we get all that dreary shrieking about spoilers. Suffice it to say, that very last revelation last night had us cheering just because we got it right. Of course half the people on the internet had the same theory, but still.
It was kind of refreshing, now that manic, frothing crazygay Tyler is off the board, to have Emily get her red Sharpie out and draw an X on yet another heretofore unrevealed accomplice to the framing of her father. This time it’s former investigative reporter Leo Treadwell, whose ethics were bought lock, stock, and barrel by the Graysons 15 years ago, the result of which has made him rich, caused him to change his name to Mason Treadwell, and, somewhat inexplicably, turned him into Elton John. Leo promised little Amanda Clarke all those years ago that he would exonerate her father and then turned around and wrote a damning book of lies about him, dictated to him by the Graysons, of course. This causes Emily to narrow her eyes a lot, which is when you know shit is about to go down.
Also, Elton has one hard copy of his manuscript for his memoirs, which he typed on an old typewriter. Fauxmanda has Chekhov’s lighter. Final act? Well, who didn’t see that one coming? “Bad girl,” indeed.
Fauxmanda continues her dirty little attention-seeking ways and comes up with a great way for Jack to make more money: sleaziness on tap! Jack is as dull-witted as anyone responsible for foisting Declan on the world would be, so he basically lets Fauxmanda jerk him around and make him do what she wants. Honestly, despite her coolness to the whole thing, we can’t imagine Emily enjoys seeing Jack with such a tacky little troublemaker.
But Fauxmanda has her uses and they’re still a bit obscure to us. Emily’s making sure everyone important knows that “Amanda Clarke” is in town and that includes making sure Elton Treadwell knows. There’s something a little disturbing and a little sad about Emily literally using Fauxmanda as a doll to voice her rage and her thoughts. “Get in his face, Amanda,” she whispers into her earpiece, and Fauxmanda snaps to, never hesitating to do exactly what Emily tells her; BE exactly who Emily tells her to be. She’s not a person of her own anymore; she’s a tool in Hamptons Batman’s war on those who done her wrong. Face it: Emily’s stone cold and more than a little emotionally damaged. She was practically forced into letting Nolan inside her circle but even then, she tends to still bark orders at him and keep him in the dark. We like that the show isn’t shying away from the disturbing parts of Emily’s personality. After all, Batman’s no fun as a character if he isn’t just a little fucked up.
But where is all this Fauxmanda business going? Is Emily so cold that she’ll serve her up as a sacrificial lamb to the Graysons? The one thing that came out of that staged interview with Elton Treadwell is that he’s now utterly convinced that she is Amanda Clarke, and that wasn’t something he or Victoria were entirely convinced of when they first met her. And by planting Chekhov’s Zippo at the scene of the arson, she’s effectively framing Fauxmanda for it. We think Fauxmanda’s a tacky little ho (and, oh yeah, a murderer) but we don’t think she quite deserves that, does she?
In other Hamptons news, all the patrons at Jack’s bar wear plaid shirts. Ever notice that? So “working class.” Also, the mere act of attempting to read causes Declan to pass out, which doesn’t surprise us at all, especially since he’s really mad at Charlotte for going to school and having homework. Victoria and Conrad are using Daniel as both pawn and weapon in their divorce war, and all this jockeying has had the unintended effect of convincing him to ask Emily to marry him. This is being left just a little vague: is Daniel really thinking of marrying her because he’s convinced she’s the one or is he doing it because he wants access to his trust fund and to secure control of his father’s company? Time will tell, but we can’t help thinking that all of this has been orchestrated by Hamptons Batman specifically to get Daniel to propose to a girl he’s only known a couple months. He hasn’t even popped the question but just look at all the crap that has befallen the Grayson family to get them to exactly this point.
And now that we’re at the bottom of the post we can say it out loud: Charlotte is Emily’s half sister. She hasn’t really figured in the main story at all up to this point, but now we’re curious to see what’s going to happen with her. Is Bandage-dress Batman so cold that she’ll continue her plans of revenge, even when it may destroy her own sister’s life?
Oh, yes. Yes she is. Stone cold.
[Photo Credit: ABC]