American Horror Story: Birth

Posted on December 15, 2011

Oh, go ahead, snooty TV critics. Bitch about the plot and character inconsistencies; moan about the poor pacing and outrageous acting. We don’t care, because the one thing you can’t complain about is that nothing ever happens on this show. Say what you will about American Horror Story, shit goes down. None of these Lost-style conversations, where people who need to share information instead trade mysterious quips and knowing looks. Oh, no. None of that “Home Shopping shit” for American Horror Story.

“Dad, I’m dead!”

“Tate, you raped my Mom!”

“Violet, I’m dead too! Shh! It’s okay! I don’t care about my two other babies anymore, especially that Anti-Christ one! YOU’RE my favorite dead baby!”

“Violet? Viv? I’m the only living thing left in this house and I think I’m going crazy! Should I masturbate? Where’s that maid when I need her?”

We have not a fucking clue where any of this is going. Could YOU have predicted, when the season started, that it would end with at least 2/3 of the Harmon family dead? That’s a worse record than any other haunted house movie we can think of. Even that little Exorcist chick got out alive, although she was stuck in the hell of bad sequels with Richard Burton.

One thing’s for sure, so many people, dead and alive, are jockeying to be Mommy Number One to one or the other of Viv’s little bundles of joy that it’s going to be Baby Volleyball in and around that house until the end comes. Maybe they can use all the bodies strewn all over the house (Violet, Viv, the exterminator, we’re sure we’re forgetting some) as a makeshift net.

But you can have your baby sweepstakes. We’ll watch all the homicidal mommies destroy each other from a distance. The highlight of this episode was watching two insane divas go head to head as Constance and Chad flared their nostrils, bared their claws and hissed at each other deliciously. We’re surprised there was any scenery left by the time it was all over. We think Constance and Chad should get their own spinoff, where they come into people’s homes, make over a room together, and viciously tear each other apart without so much as raising their voices. It’ll be like Trading Spaces, except with homophobia, mommy issues, and dead people.

As for the rest of it … well, what do you want us to say? This stuff doesn’t lend itself to critical analysis. If anything, it actively works against any form of critical criteria being applied to it. It’s crazy shit, y’all. That’s the mission. “Let’s throw crazy shit at the audience each week and see how much they can sit through.” Because when you really think about the major plot elements of this show – psychopathic abortion doctors, a rape scene in a gimp suit, a woman dying in childbirth after having been raped and institutionalized, another woman who abuses her developmentally disabled daughter, masturbating maids, masturbating psychiatrists, dead teenage girls (complete with decaying bodies), and school shooters/rapists as romantic figures – it’s kind of amazing that it ever got greenlit for television at all.

So, what happened this week? Crazy shit.

What’s going to happen next? No fucking idea, but it’ll probably be more crazy shit.

Isn’t that awesome?

 

    • Sobaika Mirza

      I’m just glad the teenage girl stopped romanticizing the fuck out of the homicidal rapist man-child and broke off with him. And the girl playing Violet sure can cry. The ending with her and Ghost-Mommy was really sad.

      • Terence Ng

        I had to admit that as much as Violet pissed me off, she scored 1000+ pts with me for banishing Tate.

      • BerlinerNYC

        It was sad and sweet, but I also wonder if Vivian had to die. Violet was certainly giving her the hard sell on joining the dead. Like we’ve observed, the ghosts seem to be an exaggerated version of who they were when they died: Hayden is especially horny and craycray, Chad is especially jealous and persnickety, Black Dahlia insecure and fame-obsessed, etc. Violet wasn’t as crazy as any of them, but she was probably the loneliest. She genuinely wanted her parents to get out of the house while they could, but the moment Mommy was potentially available in ghost world, she grabbed for it like an addict grabs for drugs. In any case, it was certainly her episode. Definitely looking forward to see how things are resolved, or rather what’s resolved and what is left as a setup for season two.

    • Anonymous

      I was really glad but actually really surprised that Violet and Ben finally communicated about the nature of the house/the fact that she’s dead. 

      • Terence Ng

        Me too. A lot of things about the show come off to me as being tactlessly done: Dad, I’m dead. there are ghosts. Vivien, don’t die! Oh, I’m dead.

        I feel like they happen because they don’t know how to craft more skillful ways to get these plot points in. However, I have to admit that every time it happens, it is simultaneously refreshingly straight forward rather than tediously cliche and over-circuitous. So I end up hating the fact that say, Vivien dies, or Violet just has to point blank say it, but I also find it interesting that it went there, or thankful that Violet just cut to the chase like a normal person.

    • Anonymous

      “Awesome” doesn’t even begin to cover it!!!

    • Anonymous

      It IS awesome. Almost as delicious as Twin Peaks. Not quite, but almost. With a dash of Rosemary(‘s Baby) for added flavor. ;-)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6837468 Kimberly Correll Massengill

      This show makes ZERO sense…and for once I don’t care, you know?  It’s just incredibly compelling and bizarre, and I LOVE it! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6837468 Kimberly Correll Massengill

      This show makes ZERO sense…and for once I don’t care, you know?  It’s just incredibly compelling and bizarre, and I LOVE it! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1298411151 Stephanie Dyer-Penniston

      I keep expecting the Winchester brothers to burst through the door and take everyone out.

      • Sobaika Mirza

        That should be the last two minutes of the finale.

    • muzan-e

      ….it’s kind of amazing that it ever got greenlit for television at all.

      Yes. Yes, it is. And that is why I celebrate even the weaker episodes: actual balls-out, crazy gothic horror is happening on television. And people are loving it.  *g*

    • Terence Ng

      I liked the episode enough, but again, there are this pressing issues that no one talks about in each following episode:

      - Did the house-filling stench of your daughter’s fly-infested, decaying corpse suddenly dissipate?
      - Did the major fly infestation also suddenly disappear?
      - Now that you know the identity of the teenager who raped your wife (who is one of your patients and whose full identifying information you think you know), wouldn’t you want to tell her and get him arrested? Is multi-tasking too hard?
      - So you know that your grandson is the Antichrist. Nothing about that makes you want to reflect on anything at all?

      Anyway, one of the things I liked best was Violet growing a pair of ovaries, finally, and the fact that the “go away” was in itself the fabled banishment spell. (“CroaTOAN!  CROATOAN!!!” lmao. I might jsut run around and start yelling it nonsensically to people for a laugh.)

      • Anonymous

        I think that when Tate made Ben pass out or whatever the idea is that he forgot that it was him. 

        • Terence Ng

          Good lord, then what was the point of revealing his identity in the first place? And how does he wake up, bruised and wrapped in a magic towel on the floor and not think, “Crap! I should call the police!”

          • Anonymous

            I think it was the horror movie trope of “close but yet so far” ie. the opposite about what we were talking talking about with the bluntness of the violet “i’m dead” reveal. I think that scene was more to show Tate attempting to get Ben out of the way so Violet would kill herself. As for the waking up in a towel thing, I have no explanation other that Ben is aware of the fact that he’s going a little nuts and probably just thought he was having some kind of episode. I feel like he’s getting used to weird things happening and not attempting to make sense of them/coherently react to them. 

            • Terence Ng

              It did make me question the meaning of his “WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?!” flashes during Vivien’s labor.

          • Mary McClelland

            How does your wife go into labor in the driveway and no one calls 911 but instead just submits to a dead doctor and two nurses with bleeding faces all from the years before epidurals or safe c-sections deliver your children?

            Does Ben know about Tate now? Did I miss that when I was freaking out about all the other inconsistencies? 

            • Terence Ng

              That one they did cover: He tries calling for help, but the phones are all dead and then the power goes out as the evil twin redheads destroy the car. Deus ex, I know, but at least it’s some sort of reason.

              As for Tate, yes. In Smoldering Children, he fights the Rubber Man while in his magic towel and right as he gets ethered, he pulls Tate’s mask off, sees his face, yells angrily and passes out.

            • Anonymous

              I think Ben does know about Tate. He told Violet at the beginning of the episode when he was trying to make her go with him to pick up Viv, that he didn’t trust her OR Tate. So, it seems he knows, but hasn’t told Violet or Viv yet.

      • Mary McClelland

        RIGHT!!! WHY DOES NO ONE SMELL A THREE-WEEK-OLD DEAD BODY IN THE CRAWL SPACE?!?!?!?!?! ESPECIALLY CONSTANCE WHO KNOWS THESE THINGS! Sorry to yell. I simply cannot get past this critical oversight. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

        Is Tate off the show now?  Can’t be.  That character is too popular.

        • Terence Ng

          Well, I think they plan on focusing on new characters and possibly a new location next season, so I would suspect that all of the cast is gone.

        • Anonymous

          To be fair though they’ve told Thaddeus and I think Beau to go away multiple times and then they come back. I think the banishing is only temporary. 

        • Anonymous

          Wasn’t Tate in the preview for next week?

        • Anonymous

          I think the “go away” serves only to get the ghost off your back at that moment…I don’t think it banishes them completely.
          In fact, I believe some episodes ago we saw Violet telling one of the nurses that last night helped her mom deliver her antichrist brother to “go away”

    • Lori

      In the first or second episode Addie told Vivian she was going to die.  Just saying.

      There is as much or more intention, structure and attention to detail in this show as in any.  It’s just of a different sort.  If you’re not familiar with the movie or the real life crime being referenced, you won’t be able to see that.  For example RM said in this week’s EW interview that

      • Terence Ng

        I think there are plenty of details int eh realm of major plot points (like Ryan Murphy planning on Vivien dying from the beginning) or the Black Dahlia’s murder, but those are scenario details and don’t mend the overall episode-to-episode continuity. Again, what about the indicators of Violet’s rotting corpse in the house? What about Ben knowing the Rubber Man’s identity? The truancy officer saying that if Violet missed one more day, they would have to take her to court? That Moira is desperately seeking to have her remains uncovered and could not leave the house, but is willing to “disappear” when Ben fires her? How Ben suddenly has no patients despite the fact that having patients was the sole source of income and linked him to staying in the house at all?

        It’s great if the major scenes have the right details and the major plotlines are generally fulfilled, but you also have to look at how you’ve stitched those scenes together. If your conjunctions are dropped and never referenced again, the believability of the narrative (which is different from the believability of the plot) is jeopardized. essentially, it seems as though the writers care about the scenes, but not how they get there.

        • Anonymous

          Is no one looking for the missing exterminator? Is everyone at the LAPD totally incompetent? How does a doctor announce that a woman who has been INSTITUTIONALIZED needs an emergency C-section and then he AND her husband (OK, it’s the idiot Ben, but even so) just allow her to leave on her merry way to catch a plane? Is there another meaning of emergency that I am missing? 

          I so agree with you. At some point, the best haunted house stories enable you to suspend your grasp on the real, and  believe in the unbelievable.  I think AHS has chosen to be campy and “daring” by throwing in as many WTF elements as they possibly could get away with, at the expense of creating a compelling and gripping narrative. That’s fun for a while, but it also becomes an excuse for lazy writing.
          I do remember Addie telling Vivien she was going to die in the house, so I wasn’t surprised last night. I actually found the whole birth thing overlong and kind of boring. 

          • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

            Well, as a legal adult, without a pretty compelling case, she couldn’t be institutionalized against her will for more than 72 hours.  And even then, it would be up to Ben whether she could check out or not. 

            • Anonymous

              She was institutionalized for more than 72 hours; I think Ben mentioned she had been there 10 or 15 days if I heard correctly.

      • Anonymous

        Um, one guy is responsible for a high school mass murder, is a great big brother, burns a man alive, is a sweet puppy dog with Nora, anally rapes a man and murders his lover, rapes a woman while wearing a gimp suit, is dominated by his mother, is presented as a romantic Romeo to a teenage girl, and develops a good relationship with his therapist. One guy. That’s what people mean when they say Ryan Murphy is throwing everything at the wall. Shit be cray and all over the place. It’s awesome, but still wacky. Just because the show is referencing lots of great work doesn’t make the show itself great.

        I do wanna point out that Evan Peters is a really good actor and doing the best with what he can.

        • Lori

          I have no problem with that.  He’s a manipulative, violent, ruthless lunatic.  They can be sweet.  They can be chilling.  He’s the ultimate evil presence in the house.  And I wonder how much is him affecting the house and how much is the house working through him.

          Ted Bundy’s best friend, Ann Rule, didn’t believe he murdered anyone until she sat in the courtoom and saw the proof.  Her career writing about true crime is an effort to grapple with that truth, that she could be best friends with this man for years and not have a hint about the real Bundy. 

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know. It’s become All My [Dead] Children. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Erica Kane walk in and announce she’s Constance’s amnesiac-fraternal-twin-with-a-brain-tumor-who-is-already-dead. And wouldn’t it be fun to see Erica battle Hayden and Vivien for Ben. (I seriously hope Ben does not kill himself because we are then stuck with him FOREVER. I cannot abide the moron.)

      I don’t mind some good soap every now and then, but I’ve become so exasperated with this bunch that when someone like Chad says he’s going to smother babies at 16 months of age so they’ll stay cute, instead of being horrified, I find myself thinking that only someone with no experience of children would want to spend an eternity with a 16 month old. Or I’m screaming at the TV when Tate gets a bloody nose (You are DEAD DUDE–how do you bleed?). Or I’m laughing at all the Lost Colony mumbo-jumbo (WTF was that in there for?). 

      I am obviously not approaching this with the right spirit. I did like the close-up of the Infantata, I will admit.

      So in the spirit of WTFery of this mess, I will guess that Ben is Constance’s fourth child and his is the infant that survives (the puny stillborn one is Tate’s because GHOSTS DON’T HAVE GOOD SPERM.). And he and Granny will team up to raise the kid and protect it from the next 24 ghosts who are bound to show up…

      • Mary McClelland

        That’s what I thought about Chad. I was thinking dude – wait til they can talk in complete sentences and are out of diapers. I am the mother of a 15month old. haha.

        PS love your theory about Ben and the surviving baby being Ben’s. I was hoping for that as well!

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

          Mother of a 26 month old here– they don’t get really fun until they hit two.  I’d say you’d have to worry about tantrums, but a toddler throwing tantrums would hardly be noticeable in that house.

          • Anonymous

            And how about Vivien who now gets to spend eternity with a morose and emotional teen-age daughter? Not my idea of heaven at all….

            • Anonymous

              What about spending eternity with the psycho, jilted ex-girlfriend of your husband?  Vivien is screwed.

            • Terence Ng

              AND the psycho, jilted ex-boyfriend of your morose and emotional teenage daughter who raped you, ultimately resulting in your death.

              Poor Vivien.

            • Anonymous

              There are so many of them, they really need to get together and organize Bingo Nights, Zombie movie marathons, arts & crafts activities for all those dead kids running around; girls night out make-overs (Super!!! Glam Makeup Techniques for the Dead and the Maimed!!!!); eternity is going to get really boring otherwise….

            • Anonymous

              Yeah, but Violet can tell her how to make any of the other ghosts Go Away from her whenever they’re annoying. Apparently she doesn’t have to spend any time with Hayden or any of the others at all if she doesn’t want to.

          • Anonymous

            You also wouldn’t have to worry about feeding, potty training, or baby proofing with a ghost baby, and since ghosts don’t sleep, sleep deprivation wouldn’t be a problem for the ghost parents.  Honestly, I think it could work.

      • Terence Ng

        Great WTF theory about Ben, haha. I figure he’s not going to die, but he will stay living in the house. $5 says we see a closing shot of him as a girzzled old man weirdo who lives in the house.

        The ghosts can be wounded in confrontations, but they immediately reboot without injury, as shown when Hayden stabbed the crap out of Hugo, and he popped back up without a scratch. I think the Lost Colony was a Red Herring, but it’s kind of weird to present Billie as a tested authority (she’s actually psychic and can actually speak with ghosts) but her knowledge of banishments is suddenly crap?

        • Sobaika Mirza

          I think she has a gift. But that doesn’t make her the world’s foremost authority on the supernatural. Like the Pope story – obviously that was BS along with the Roanoke bit. There’s an aspect to her (her Lifetime TV show, etc.) that is totally convinced of all the crap even though she has legitimate encounters with the undead.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

          I think she was right in substance: you have to destroy something the ghost values, and then cast them out with great force.  CROATOAN was just the power word of that tribe.  For Violet, it was GET OUT– and what she destroyed was their love.

        • Isana Leshchinskaya

          Maybe only the living can do proper banishment, and only particularly spiritually gifted ones at that, since it’s been 500 years since the last successful one.

      • Anonymous

        It would be fun to see Erica and Constance go head to head ;-)

      • Lori

        Hah!  What a great way to kill off Erica!  Stranger things have happened — like Josh McKinley becoming a regular contributor to a style column in Soap Opera Digest (and that’s real).

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FLKS47RHXPOFWQZYB4MMW43VPE RS

        That was my response, too – who wants a 16 month old forever??? Yes, adorable. But an eternity of diapers and incomplete sentences? And two of them? Honey, no. You’ll go madder than you already have. Wait until they’re three – potty trained, feeding themselves, coming up with hilarious observations on the world. So much better.

        Which is a totally weird thought process to be in. I was set to tweet that while I watched, but even with the ahs hashtag, I was afraid. LOL

      • Anonymous

        I also love your theory about Ben! What was the point of his character being adopted if it wasn’t going to come into play somehow?

    • Sandra Oh

      You know what, this is the only show I look forward to every week now.  I don’t care if it’s f!$#king cray cray or none of this shit makes any sense whatsoever.  It’s escapist television, tv-porn if that.  Ryan Murphy is one sick motherfracker but hey, God Bless Him.

    • Anonymous

      THIS!
      We think Constance and Chad should get their own spinoff, where they
      come into people’s homes, make over a room together, and viciously tear
      each other apart without so much as raising their voices. It’ll be like Trading Spaces, except with homophobia, mommy issues, and dead people.

    • Anonymous

      I am so bewildered and amused and horrified by this show, and yet, as I read each comment and differing theories, I find that I can vigorously nod my head and think, oh!, that makes sense, and then someone else says something contradictory, and hilariously, I agree with that person too. Basically I find it impossible to have any critical thinking whatsover about AHS. It doesn’t help, I suppose, that I have never been a horror fan, and thus, am clueless to many of the references that are being made, which I know, always makes it more fun for those in the know. Nevertheless, I’m drawn to watch this as flies to dead bodies.

    • Charles Purdy

      I was so glad that the Roanoke thing turned out to be bunk, I was rolling my eyes so hard that one almost fell out. That birthing went on waaaaaaaaay too long. The plot is a tangle, there’s no consistency, and the people don’t behave like people. But I love this show — just as a series of weird scenes or tableaux, it’s riveting. You saw that Jessica Lange got her GG nomination today? Go, girl! It’s a great category this year. I want to say she has it sewed up, but it’s an impressive group. ….

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been half-assedly watching this show so ignore me if you want, but I think the guy (the alive one, sorry I don’t even know their names) will either gtfo and sell the house or die. Then someone new will buy the yadda yadda this here that there etc etc.

      Discuss.

      • Anonymous

        They’ve been trying to sell the house the whole time. No one wants to buy a murder house and they don’t really have money to buy a new one/get a new place before it sells.  

        • Anonymous

          But now that 2/3 of the family is dead it’s only one guy that has to move. Maybe he’ll go into foreclosure and peace out? 

          • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

            Or jail because he’s the only one alive in the house with the dead bodies of his family (except for one missing baby) around him.

            • http://beautyforrealgirls.blogspot.com/ accidental housewife

              Not to mention the  number of patients who have disappeared and/or turned up dead immediately after an appointment with The Worst Psychiatrist in the World.

              And don’t forget about the exterminator, even though everyone involved the show has.

    • Anonymous

      I was so confused about Zachary Quinto’s yam stamping technique. WHY HONEY WHY. 

      • Mary McClelland

        It’s soooooo very, very Martha. 

    • Anonymous

      I am enjoying the ride.  One thing, it sure isn’t boring.  I’ve given up on The Walking Dead, the house full of dead is more entertaining.  Maybe it is Lange that makes the difference for me.

      • http://twitter.com/SparklyCasanova UglyCasanova

        I’ve already given up on The Walking Dead, icebergs move faster than their plot, comparatively AHS moves at light speed.  Why these gays are covering TWD is mind-boggling, they may as well cover … (fill in another boring show like TWD, I can’t think of any at the moment.)

    • Anonymous

      Random comment – Tate was also on an episode of The Office. He played Michael’s nephew whom Michael refused to fire even though he as terrible. I thought he looked familiar and it bugged me until I was flipping through the channels and saw a re-run of the episode. (Wanted to link to Hulu, but you have to be a Hulu+ member to watch it. It was from last season).

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        Why didn’t you check imdb?  Sorry, I just have to do that about 10 times per movie, for that very reason.

        • Anonymous

          I’m usually very good at figuring out other places I’ve seen actors and my husband is horrible at it, so it’s become a sort of competition in our house. IMDB is cheating (as long as he’s looking). And then I’d always forgot to look when he wasn’t around.

          • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

            Gotcha.  See, for us it’s always a race to who can look it up faster — my husband is the only senile person under 30 in the world, so if we try to figure it out, he’ll forget anyway and I would have to show him the episode again for it to be in context.  I swear the longer we are married, the stupider we both get — me from sleep deprivation because he snores so loudly and him from sleep apnea slowly killing brain cells.

            • Anonymous

              girl, you gotta get one of those CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure)  machines.  saved many a marriage and makes a perfect holiday gift.

        • Anonymous

          I’m usually very good at figuring out other places I’ve seen actors and my husband is horrible at it, so it’s become a sort of competition in our house. IMDB is cheating (as long as he’s looking). And then I’d always forgot to look when he wasn’t around.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

      Sam and Dean FTW!  Looking forward to next week.  I completely have suspended critical judgement.  I want to see more of Thadeus, he really confuses me.  I think he’s Nora’s dismembered/reanimated son, but…if his kidnapper killed him OFFSITE from the house (so his soul was discorporated away from the psychomagnetic whatzis that traps anyone who dies on the property), then something has inhabited his corpse (he’s technically not a ghost, but revivified), what is that something, the evil that is the genius loci.  If the kidnapper killed him ONSITE, and then dismembered his dead body and sent it to the cops (?) in mason jars, then he’s just another ghost.  That one is still a poser to me.

      ETA: best exchange from the show thus far: Constance: “you two would do with an innocent child…is an abomination” Chad: “So is that hairstyle.”

      • http://twitter.com/arayharris Ashley Ray-Harris

        Well, it could be that they killed him off-site, but his father brought him back to life in the house and, presumably, his mother killed him in the house when he attacked her. So, I think he’s just a ghost, but because he was brought back to life with different body parts, he was brought back by evil.

    • Anonymous

      I was so-so on this show the first few episodes.  Now that it has morphed into Dynasty/Dallas with rotting corpses, bitchy queen specters and Jessica Lange power acting against Denis O’Hare, I’m all in! I haven’t yelled at my TV screen this much since the days of Dominque Devereaux vs. Alexis Carrington-Colby-Dexter.

    • Anonymous

      After Quinto got to enact what was basically a Horror Film Carol Burnett skit with a glamour goddess, how could he have not publicly come out? “THAT’S IT, BITCHES. MY WORK IS DONE”

    • Anonymous

      y’all aren’t actually waiting for RESOLVE are you? This thing is gonna clean up like a frayed hem on a pair of old jeans.

    • Anonymous

      Awesome, indeed. I’m on this ride for the duration, even though I don’t know where the HELL it’s taking me. Quinto and Lange are worth the price of admission themselves.

    • Pamela Hunt

      So glad I gave this the boot from my viewing schedule.  It may be crazy fun but it got tiresome really quickly.  I’m sorry you stopped blogging about Boardwalk Empire because things have REALLY picked up over in A.C.

      • Anonymous

        “Like” x 100000! I miss their Boardwalk Empire recaps. Season 2 was intense. 

        • Anonymous

          i’ve only watched the first few episodes of boardwalk so far (having a three-year old with me for the last few weeks has put a severe crimp in my adult drama tv watching.  she loves glee though.)  paz de la huerta has been fabulous.  i’d love to see and hear her out of character just to see how much is acting and how much is her real personality.  lucy is an intriguing character to me.  the scene last season with lucy and margaret in the dressing room at the dress shop was too hot for words.  but i digress.  haven’t found this horror story on my schedule, but it definitely sounds like something i should look into.  i enjoy some crazy shit.    

          • Anonymous

            The thing about American Horror Story is you can’t take it too seriously. It is campy and fun, so if you find the time and watch it through that lens, you’ll enjoy it!

            And I would definitely recommend watching more episodes of Boardwalk Empire. Maybe during nap time? Lucy is definitely a character you love to hate. Just wait till you meet Richard. I would watch an entire show of him just sitting silently. Fantastically acted!

    • Anonymous

      Love it!

    • Anonymous

      Because he can only leave the house once a year and he’s not going to spend it at Michael’s?

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      These recaps are so fucking amazing that I’m afraid to watch the show – how can it possibly live up to all this? :D

    • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

      I can’t wait for the first time Viv and Hayden meet and realize they are trapped together for eternity.

      • http://beautyforrealgirls.blogspot.com/ accidental housewife

        One of them will get her REVEEEENGGGE! And it will be awesome.

    • http://customerlove.me LaVonne Ellis

      I can’t help myself, I still like Tate. Am I a bad person?

      • Terence Ng

        Yes.

        But if it makes you feel better, I still like Constance, even though she’s a murdering, amoral, thieving, child abusing, man-using, racist.

        • http://twitter.com/SparklyCasanova UglyCasanova

          You left out homophobic.

    • Anonymous

      OK.  I went into this show with trepidations and started off with a vague sense of unease and general distaste.  But with each passing week, the craziness is sucking me in more and more.  At this point I don’t care that it doesn’t make much sense but I am very interested to see what will happen next.  I *loved* Violet saying, “Dad, I’m dead!”  and I loved even more that she booted Tate to the (metaphorical, of course) curb for raping Vivien.  It sucks that she’s coming into her own only now that she’s dead, but hey, it’s something. 

      I think it’s interesting that Constance thinks she has some kind of influence over what goes on in that house.  I’m waiting for her to get her comeuppance. That will be delicious.

    • Anonymous

      My gay and I discussed how tired we are after each episode. We are actually grateful for the finale even though we LOVE it.

    • Anonymous

      I understand that the writers had to get Vivien back to The House to make her Ghost Mom and set up the babysnatching
      shenanigans, but honestly, if I were in her position there is no goddamn way I would have gone anywhere near it. “Screw the
      luggage, you can ship it to me in Florida. I AM NEVER STEPPING ON THAT PROPERTY AGAIN.” Otherwise, pretty solid episode. I am so glad that Chad told Violet what was up with Tate, and that she LISTENED.

    • Anonymous

      Got to watch this last night and it was awesome.  Extra awesome points b/c in an overhead shot of Violet smoking, she has a pack of Morleys (X-Files geek alert)!  What a wonderfully bizarre show!

    • Anonymous

      Ughh I’m so sad next week is the season finale :( I think they’re just gonna kill Ben off too, and the whole family will just be new ghosts in the house, and next season a new family will move in. Or maybe, Ben will be institutionalized, and Constance will move in to raise the demon baby.

      • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

        Or Ben may be arrested.  He’s alone in a house with his dead daughter, dead wife, dead baby, and a missing baby.  I’m thinking jail.

        I don’t think Ben will die because Addy never said he would, but she did say Viven would.

    • http://twitter.com/SparklyCasanova UglyCasanova

      Good god that was an awesome exchange between the two Queens!

    • Anonymous

      I’d predicted that Ben would die and leave Viv the only one alive, so I guess if you switch the bodies, I was almost right. 

      I think Viv will make a kick ass ghost.  She’ll be fun. 

    • Ledasmom

      I love the way that everything that happens serves to, potentially, more thoroughly screw over Ben. His girlfriend’s pregnant body is buried under the gazebo, his daughter’s dead in the crawl space, who knows what became of the exterminator who found her, and what did happen to the bodies of Viv and the stillborn baby, anyway? And there is no way for him to explain any of this in a way that will make sense to the police. At this point, dying might be the best thing that could happen to Ben – he’d get to play Unhappy Families for eternity with Viv, Violet and Dead Baby Harmon. Of course there’s also Hayden, Tate and so forth, but nothing’s perfect.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Claudia-Gilbert/875055316 Claudia Gilbert

      There’s no way the “stillborn” baby quickly passed off to Nora is dead!  And I still reckon the stronger of the twins will turn out to be Ben’s baby; not Tate’s like everyone supposes…  

    • Annie Leung

      I will sit here patiently until the first few notes of the Ghostbusters theme starts to play.

      But really, this show is kind of awesome.