Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on June 03, 2011

Precious unborn fawns, it’s Friday and it’s June, so let’s just give a bunch of red carpet also-rans the once-around and get the hell out of here, shall we? Onetwothree…GO!


Courtney Love attends the ‘Hogan And Big Bambu’ Cocktail Party in Venice, Italy.

It’s dead girl prom dress. Local legends say she rises out of the swamp every year on prom night and drags some poor sexually active student down into the murky depths with her. The student drowns, but she pops right back up to the surface thanks to her floatation devices.


Susan Sarandon hosts the Perrier-Jouet 200th Anniversary Party in New York City in MaxMara.

Susan, we love you, but the cougar thing is played out and your dress looks like something you wear to apply your makeup.


La La Vazquez attends the 2011 Fresh Air Fund Salute To American Heroes in New York City in a Halston Heritage dress.

It’s a great color on her but there’s too much draping and pulling and the effect doesn’t flatter her.

Heather Graham attends the “Kimchi Chronicles” Launch Party in LA in Donna Karan.

It’s a pretty great dress but it’s not working with her coloring. She looks too washed out. Hate the shoes too.

Leelee Sobieski attends the Cinema Society, Gucci & the Film Foundation screening of “La Dolce Vita” in New York City in a Versus dress.

Why does her head look pasted on to her body? Is it the anchorwoman hair? Cute dress, but we wouldn’t have recommended black ankle straps with such a summery look.


Emma Roberts attends a sneak peek for her new movie “The Art of Getting By” in Los Angeles in an ASOS dress.

She’s all one color from head to toe. She looks like a Band-Aid.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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  • Gracious. I need to go back and look at Mila’s LA Confidential cover to get these looks out of my head before my weekend starts!

  • Anonymous

    I think I might like Emma Roberts’ look if the dress was a different color instead of beige.  And she wasn’t wearing those shoes.  And she maybe put some lipstick on.

    Heather Graham always looks like a drunk girl wandered out of the club and onto the red carpet.

  • Judy_J

    The fake boobage on Courtney Love is horribly distracting.  Susan Sarandon looks like she’s waiting for a chair at the Curl Up ‘N Dye.  Heather Graham looks like she just wandered in from the local cocktail bar.  “What’s a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?”

    • Anonymous

      I’m loving the Blues Brothers ref.

    • margaret meyers

      Besides being the wrong color, Heather’s dress is doing nothing for her:  it’s making her look thick-wasted, it’s pulling across her tummy and breasts seem to be at different levels.  Heather is famous for her body and this dress makes her look like she used to be famous for her body.

  • I can’t tell but…are Leelee’s ankle straps also pointy-toed, high-heeled ESPADRILLES?  I sincerely hope I’m wrong because in what ring of hell would think that made sense?

  • loy phillips

    I don’t understand the cougar dig with Susan Sarandon.  Sure, the leopard print thing is hideous, but it fits her well.  How is she playing the cougar card?

    • Anonymous

      The “Cougar Card” is in referance to Susan’s preferance for younger men. She (64) was with Tim Robbins, 12 years younger, and there is “talk” about her currently dating a 31 year old man. The comment fit in with the animal print dress. 

  • Anonymous

    Emma Roberts’ dress looks like it was home sewn. In 1973! Using the cheapest sale cotton available. Or percale bedsheets.

    • margaret meyers

      And she needs to embrace her inner Brunette.  Her aunt does pretty well with it.  I don’t think she has that inner drive to be a star, she never does the thing that would make her stand out, and that is part and parcel of being a star.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, that is a bad shade of blond on her. I would think the upkeep required to make such a drastic color change look good would be daunting. I am a brunette (think Winona Ryder coloring) and I’ve never gone particularly light for that very reason.

  • I thought Susan and Leelee both looked great – well, I guess the dresses were great and cute, but the shoes needed help.

    • margaret meyers

      I know… the shoes give the whole game away.

  • Anonymous

    I wish Susan would do something with her hair!  She is so amazing, but not today!

  • amanda crow

    I disagree about Heather Graham looking washed out, sorry. I love the ‘blondes-in-gold’ look.

  • Wendy Wetzel


  • MilaXX

    Courtney’s boobs are 2 sneezes away from a wardrobe malfunction or the Friday night peep show as Courtney calls it.
    Susan looks like the chaperone at the prom. Hate how those ankle straps cut off her legs and make them look stumpy.
    Lala’s dress is a great color for her, but you’re right it’s a bit too fussy with all the draping.
    Heather’s dress is the wrong shape & color for her. It’s giving her a pouch .
    Leelee’s dress is pretty. I don’t mind the hair, but I wish she had worn a better shoe.
    Emma’s dress is bo..r…ZZZZ.zzzzzzzzzzz

  • Anonymous

    I was laughing and exclaiming “Omigod! That is exactly SO it, TLo!” until the last sentence on LeeLee Sobieski.  Then all the blood surged to my head and I hurled not just any ankle-strap shoe but a t-strap – yes boys, you heard me right, a T-STRAP – at my computer screen as I screamed “No No NO! It’s wrong not because it’s an ankle-strap but because it’s closed-toed!!”
    Otherwise, your entire commentary was spot on. Good show, lads!

  • Anonymous

    Heather’s dress shows just how difficult it actually is to wear, à la Aniston, a shiny bathtowel.

  • margaret meyers

    Courtney looks like an Undead Gothic Saloon Gal.  I’m glad she brought her sunglasses because that party is over lit.

  • Rand Ortega

    TLo said… “She’s all one color from head to toe. She looks like a Band-Aid.”
    Soda went through my nose! Hilarious!

    Slightly off topic, Happy 80th Birthday, Carmen Dell ‘Orefice! You’re just as gorgeous today as you were when you started modeling 64 years ago! Here’s to many more B-day’s to come!

  • Anonymous

    You were too kind to Heather, she looks horrendous.  Thanks for the chortle over Courtney.

  • Why is Courtney Love EVERY.WHERE????  Go away hag!

  • Anonymous

    I actually kind of like Susan S.’s dress…on her.  The shoes…not so much.

    Leelee…never would have recognized her.  I recall her as pretty and interesting looking with long wavy hair.  Here she’s rather ho-hum…ready for flight attendant school with that hair.

    Heather hot mess.  I find nothing interesting about that dress. 

    Courtney….give HBC back her dress.

  • Heather looks like a hot mess, top to bottom. Bad dress, bad hair, bad shoes.

  • Courtney Love scares me.

  • Mariah J

    I think Leelee looks really cute, looks like the weird camera angle is making her look like that. The others are pretty bleh

  • Lisa

    And just like *THAT*, Courtney Love looks like a hot mess again!

    Emma Roberts looks like a band-aid – HAH!  I did that too – just a big loud HAH! in my apartment!

    Not only is Susan Sarandon’s dress awful and cliche’d, but the shoes look like Mom At the Barbecue shoes!

  • I thought Heather Graham was LiLo.

  • peter ryan

    Remember when Leelee was Helen Hunt’s doppelganger? When did she morph into Gillian Anderson?

  • Anonymous

    Okay, but aren’t LeeLee’s shoes, like, espadrilles or something? I can’t tell but it looks like the platforms are lighter than the foot. Is Susan Sarandon wearing DANSKOS or some other comfort footwear? And a salon robe? Oy, she needs an intervention. Heather Graham needs foundation garments or a shape to her dress and I think Emma Roberts’ dress is totally cute.

  • Man, you guys are in a mood tonight. Not that I disagree with your assessments. I’m just sayin’.

  • Anonymous

    And she’s back!  Guess the other day, you know, the one where Courtney looked good, was just a fluke.
    It’s ok. It usually is. I’m used to it. I’ll be ok.

    And Dear Susan S.:  lose the ankle straps and lose the kankle-look. Just a thought.

    The rest are a train wreck of humanity.

  • yay unborn fawns reference!!

  • Anonymous

    The bottom half of Susan Sarandon’s dress looks like a color blindness test strip.

  • Anonymous

    I might like Courtney Love’s–for Courtney Love, not necessarily anyone else–if her upper shelf wasn’t tipping over and falling down off its brackets there.

  • every time i see heather graham all i can think of is how she used to go out w/ adam ant before he went completely bats.

  • That is a whole stinking pile of ugly!

  • Leelee looks skinny skinny

  • Anonymous

    leelee, la la, lulu, nene… did their parents let them name themselfs as toddlers?

    anyway, i like roberts look quite a lot. very sexy librarian, high fashion edition. but her hair colour looks distractingly fake.

  • Anonymous

    “It’s a pretty great dress” on Heather Graham??? You were joking, right? a gold tube sock?

  • Anonymous

    My god. That hairstyle. Those dark eyes. Emma Roberts has turned into That Blonde Girl From Night Of The Living Dead.


  • Didn’t LeeLee have a baby recently??? I remember her being preggo…she looks good for a mama. I love the hair. Dear Courtney…stop just stop, please for the love of who ever you “talk” to stop.

  • I think we can all rest assured that Susan Sarandon does not wear a bra to put on her makeup, but thank the sweet BB Jeebus, she is wearing one here.  Props for that, Sue.

  • Anonymous

    Lele, smile bitch. Your’e thin, young and rich.

  • vmcdanie

    Emma Roberts looks adorable here. If her dress just had some color, it would be perfect.

    Heather Graham is going to win this red carpet hands down, even with the fade issues. She also makes a gold dress look classy, no easy feat. 

  • Anonymous

    I think Sarandon looks great, but I agree about the tragic rest.

  • Jennifer Jacobsen-Wood

    The Emma Roberts one is totally, “Return of the Silly Putty Shoes.”