2011 CMT Music Awards Red Carpet

Posted on June 09, 2011

Yeehaw, darlings! It was the CMT Awards and everybody did their durndest to uphold the stereotype by dressing in really shitty clothing! We feel a Judgment coming on!

Ashton Shepherd

Ashton can’t be bothered worrying about red carpets. She’s due on the lanai with Rose and Dorothy for some daiquiris. Wait, no. We got that wrong. Her dress is due on the lanai to be used as a seat covering in 1987.

Cheryl Hines

Cheryl Hines is obviously looking to get laid by some burly guy in tight jeans with a big belt buckle.

Crystal Bowersox

This girl needs an intervention so badly. She throws on these gowns for these events when you can see from space that she’s not the kind of gal who likes to wear gowns. It’s the CMTs. You can get away with overalls if you want to; gowns are not required. Not that we think she should be sporting overalls on the red carpet, but there’s got to be a halfway point between what she feels most comfortable wearing and what looks best in pictures.

Gretchen Wilson

For fuck’s sake, Crystal Bowersox, someone wore THIS. You can get away with the ditching the gowns. We wouldn’t mind this outfit if it weren’t for the “here are my abs” qualities.

Hillary Scott

When country music fully embraces the gays, things like this won’t happen anymore. We can help, country cousins.

Jana Kramer in Rachel Gilbert

We hate tulip skirts in any case, but we especially hate them when they seem to be urging everyone to look at your crotch. Also, this is peach. We assume you all agree that’s bad.

Jennifer Nettles

It’s a bit honky tonk, but that’s fine. It’s certainly not out of place.

Kristin Chenoweth in Miguelina

Were they performing baptisms on stage or something?

Laura Bell Bundy

It’s not bad, but – and we never thought we’d say this – there isn’t enough of a titscrepancy. If you’re gonna do the asymmetrical bust, it has to look like it was deliberate.

Martina McBride

Feels like it’s trying too hard to be young and hip.

Mary Steenburgen

Pretty, if a bit “1970s beauty pageant.”

Meghan Linsey of Steel Magnolia

All the other girls in the shampoo station are going to be so jealous of her tomorrow.

Melissa Peterman

A salute to bland.

Nicole Kidman in Proenza Schouler

Y’know, we’re really going to have to give it to her here. Truth be told, we’ve long thought she’s been resting on her so-called fashionista cred. It’s been a really long time since Nicole Kidman wore anything truly interesting or off the beaten path. This doesn’t all work perfectly – we don’t love the hem and while we DO love the shoes, we think they may be too much for the look – but it’s really striking and at first glance, we uttered, “Is that…Nicole?” which was the entire point, we suspect. The big-haired, tight-dressed ladies in the room must have been giving her the side-eye all night.

Sara Evans

Oh, GOD. We were going to give her a pass, even though it’s basically a bed sheet, until we saw that she PAINTED HER TOES TO MATCH HER DRESS. We’re sorry, even the CMTs have style standards. You’re going to have to get back in your limo, honey.

Sarah Darling

While we are inclined to support her just for her name alone (She should change her first name to “Kitten,” though), we can’t get behind this, which looks like a poorly fitted vintage dress. And gold and pink is a tough combo to pull off. She’s not pulling it off.

Shania Twain

She looks like she just left the office to attend parent-teacher conferences.

Sheryl Crow in Malandrino

No complaints.

Sunny Sweeney

A salute to jaundice.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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  • I like the Sunny Sweeney dress.  However, the Kidman dress/shoes combo was awful.  Either one paired differently would have been great, but the colors didn’t work together.

    • I like the Sunny Sweeney name.

    • Also can’t get behind the sucking-the-pool-drain duck lips Nicole has bought.

      They look okay with her mouth closed, but open and they’re scary carny ride.

      Ladies, a thinning upper lip isn’t an indictable offence, but duck lips are a felony.

  • Anonymous

    I love Nicole Kidman’s dress, even the hem. But she has GOT to stop injecting her lips. In the thumbnail where she’s smiling, you can see the injection bumps.

    • Anonymous

      Of all the procedures out there, lip injections give me the heebie jeebies the most. 

      • Anonymous

        Agreed.  In the shot where she is smiling, she looks a bit like a demented Sandy Dennis. 

  • Anonymous

    Wow.   That is  a whole lotta ugly before I’ve had my coffee.  Holy Crap!  Bowersox should carry visine to these events.  Kidman looks ridic.  Her hair is awful and that dress, oh that dress!

    • Leslie Streeter

      Bowersox is such a cute girl, who chaffed at American Idol’s trying to make her something she wasn’t. And now some bad sad stylist is doing it to her again. Rebel, girl. You did a diabetes pump commercial with B.B. King. Show some damned sass!

      • Did she really? That’s actually pretty cool. My ex uses one of those. I’m going to have to tell him about that. 

  • Anonymous

    I like Ashton’s dress and like the print.    I think Nicole looks silly

  • Anonymous

    CMT’s never fail to deliver a whole lotta fug. 

    I’m not sure if the big haired women would’ve given Nicole the “side eye”…not sure they have the taste level to appreciate her style.  She looked great, soft and pretty hair and a really striking and interesting dress.  I agree about the shoes, while also quite nice, may not be the best choice for her dress.

    Hillary Scott…on what planet would a women opt to wear a dress that makes her butt look huger than it probably is?! 

    The “girls at the shampoo station” and “not enough titscrepancy” cracks really, well, cracked me up! 

    If for no other reason, I guess I gotta appreciate the CMT’s for the *coughfashioncough* chuckles they provide… 😀

  • Anonymous

    I think it can no longer be denied, if anyone was denying it, that Nicole is working the Botox. Her upper lip is just not what it once was or what it should be. Particularly evident in the thumbnail photo at the top. How can the rest of us learn to age (not that she’s old) gracefully and naturally if there are no celebrity role models to show us how it works?

    • Anonymous

      well…for one, don’t look to celebs as role models.  They’re in an industry that caters to youth, image and profit…not necessarily substance and character.

      Look to women you know and respect, like mothers, grandmothers, teachers, doctors, nurses, etc…


      • Anonymous

        I agree about who role models should be…unfortunately, the majority of people still place a higher value on celebrities.

      • Anonymous

        I agree about who role models should be…unfortunately, the majority of people still place a higher value on celebrities.

  • scottyf

    Y’all don’t wanna mess with Gretchen Wilson. She sings a song called “Redneck Woman.” She will beat the crap out of you; hogtie you both, and wear you as a necklace.

    • Anonymous

      After she attaches the rope to the hitch of her 4-wheeler and drags you through the trailer park.

      I love tacky red-neck style, and I wish these people would embrace it.  They should all be emulating Dolly Parton from the late 70’s/early 80’s.

      • Anonymous

        Dolly Parton is my personal Goddess of Intentional Artifice.  If everything about you is faked/enhanced and everyone knows it, why not just roll with it and drop the struggle to make it look ‘natural.’ 

        • Anonymous

          Yes!  DP is who she is, and if you don’t like it, you can kiss her plastic ass.  Love her and her wigs.

    • Anonymous

      I was just thinking, she’s obviously illustrating her biggest hit.  Hell, yeah! ;p

  • Anonymous

    Sheryl Crow is committing fashion offenses that usually inspire complaints – safe, boring, thick-waisted – and platforms with a gown. 

    • that’s exactly what i thought. BLAH. 

    • Anonymous

      Sheryl Crow commits an offense every time she appears in public.

      I’m getting great pleasure in seeing her in a dress that makes her look wider than she is.

    • But she’s so tiny! She probably didn’t have time/money to alter the gown (or wasn’t allowed). She should have kept her feet up under it, no one would have been the wiser.

  • Anonymous

    The chick in the bubble gum pink prom dress–she’s clearly wearing the Dr. Scholl’s I rocked in the early ’80s.  Most of the others have finally caught on to the nude peep toe trend.  And Nicole looks CRack!-TAstic.

  • Anonymous

    I like Gretchen Wilson’s look the best. She’s rockin’ her own style instead of one of those really horrible dresses. Well, Laura Bell Bundy’s dress is ok.

  • Tamara Hogan

    I love Nicole Kidman’s dress, but the shoes? WTF-ery on steroids.  

  • Anonymous

    That is one big pile of yuck.  Also – Nicole Kidman is heinous.

  • Anonymous

    Can’t believe how un-glamorous Shania looks! That is one fugly outfit and the hair, the make-up – what happened to her? I have to say I disagree about Nicole, think that outfit is fug and she doesn’t have “it” anymore to pull anything interesting off IMO.

  • Anonymous

    I can appreciate Gretchen Wilson doing the “redneck woman” thing, but honey, even redneck girls own a few items that aren’t torn jeans.

    I do like Nicole Kidman’s outfit here.  Most of the ones ripped aren’t *quite* that bad, but that’s not saying much.  Maybe they’re all working on a new song, a ballad about the girl who wore the wrong dress to the party, and lost her man (maybe to the stylist she ought to have hired in the first place).

  • Anonymous

    I thought the intro comments were a little smug until I looked at the pictures.  This is a big steaming pile, isn’t it?  Watch your step.  

  • Annie Leung

     I actually liked Sarah Darling’s dress, it’s a shortened version of Rachel Berry’s prom dress by Betsey Johnson haha. I agree about Nicole’s shoes, had she worn a different pair of shoes and did something about that hem, it could have been a knockout look (on normal red carpet standards too). There’s not much to say about everyone else I’m afraid.

  • Anonymous

    Even though I’m sick of nude shoes and don’t usually care for dolman sleeves, I really like Melissa Peterman’s dress, although I wish it was in a color.  I think it looks fresh and chic compared to the rest of these monstrosities.  Kidman and Crow both look bad.  Twain looks meh, not bad/not good, just meh.  But I guess I’ll take meh over bad.

  • Anonymous

    Is Mary Steenburgen a total WTF random at this event or does she have a new career of which I am unaware? And where was Dolly??? She’s the only one of these chicks who “gets it” re: embracing the tacky country style.

  • Harsh boys, but not far off, IMO.

    I think Sarah Darling’s dress should get a pass by comparison.  It’s pink, cute, if not totally working, and it’s the CMA’s.  They’re all about that shit.

    Oh Cheno, I love you so much.  I forgive you for this.  I think if she let her hair down, it would have been better.

  • Anonymous

    Dear Hillary Scott.  Sir Mix-a-lot would approve.

  • The first time I heard the surname “Darling” was Mets pitcher Ron Darling, who looks like his name. Just adorable.  Then he married a woman named “Toni” and they became Ron and Toni Darling and I could never see either of them without picturing a 70s key party.

  • I like Sheryl and Shania, and I almost LOVE Nicole, but Proenza needed to rework that skirt so that the paparazzi flashes didn’t make it look so see through.  A heavier georgette would have worked much better than that flimsy looking chiffon. The top half is amazing, regardless.

  • Anonymous

    The comment about Kristen Chenoweth killed me. What the HAY-ELL did she do to her eyes? And that dress is so Miss Lulu Bell-Will-Accompany-Us-On-the-Guitar-With-“Amazing-Grace”-While-We-Baptize-Ya’ll I can’t even believe it. The presence of Mary Steenburgen (who apparently does not age) utterly baffles. And finally, “country cousins” is my new term of endearment. “Country cousins, we can help” is just priceless.  Thanks for making these fashion horrors (including, IMHO, Mrs. Keith Urban) easier to take.

  • aimee_parrott

    Nicole Kidman needs to wear more of deep greens and blues, because that color is fabulous on her!  Hate it from the waist down, though.

    Kristen Chenoweth needs to stop pulling her hair back.  She’s adorable, but she (like many celebrities) has a giant face, and she needs some volume around it to downplay it’s size.

    When country music fully embraces the gays… well, we’ll all be better off.  However, I think I won’t hold my breath. 

  • MilaXX

    I feel for Bowersox. I’m glad she got her teeth fixed and lost the white girl dreds, but the dress is sad. I wish someone would help her channel her inner hippy.

  • lilibetp

    I really like the top half of Nicole’s dress.  Too bad it kind of falls apart around the waist.

  • I actually really like Kristen Chenoweth’s dress.

  • Sarah Darling should change her name to Sweetie Darling and she’d be all set to be an AbFab guest!

  • Wow, don’t these people look in the mirror. Or at other award shoes. And Gretchen Wilson just looks sad, trying to prove that redneck woman cred, albeit a slutty redneck woman trying too hard to look like she’s still in her twenties.

  • Anonymous

    Gretchen Wilson committed the crime of dressing her body *so* young that she’s made her face look old. (Just checked and she’s only 37.)

    Spot on with all the opinions, T Lo. What a weird buffet of style at this event.

    • margaret meyers

      And Mary Steenburgen kinda flips that equation by dressing a little old-fashioned and looking younger than 58.

  • Anonymous

    Crystal Bowersox is a pretty woman.  I wish she could find a red carpet look that suits her.  

  • Anonymous

    While it always makes me a bit nauseated to disagree so strongly with you boys, I have to say, re the Nicole Kidman getup: I think that staring at CMT photos for hours on end burned your retinas. That is one totally hiddy getup! The top looks like a laminated awning, which fades into not one, but TWO shades of brown shmata…paired with delphinium blue super-strappy sandals.  It’s positively drug-addled.

    But what could possibly look good against that awful background?  Some graphic designer needs to be shown the door.

    Love Cheryl Hines’s shoes.  Hate everything else.

  • Anonymous

    What happened to Nicole? Did she get tired of being the  most glamorous woman on the red carpet?

    Gretchen Wilson is the only one who got it right. No compromise. She is who she is. I like that. Laura Bell Bundy almost got it right.

    Why are Cheryl Hines and Mary Steenburgen there?

    • I am also wondering why in the Hell Justin Bieber was there and WON AN AWARD??!!

      • Anonymous

        I think Bieber made a deal at the Crossroads. He’s heading for world domination.

  • ehhh…I think Gretchen got it the closest…she is that Honky Tonk girl and isn’t going to change just to make people happy.

  • I like Kristen Chenoweth’s gown. Yes, it’s a tad virginal, but she looks good.

  • Anonymous

    Is Ashton Shepherd pregnant? Because if she’s not, that dress has bigger issues than just the print.

  • Anonymous

    Mary Steenburgen is a goddess.

    • Anonymous

      But why is she godess-ing at the CMA? On the red carpet?

  • If Kristin Chenoweth’s hair had been pulled one millimeter tighter, it would have fallen out on stage.
    God bless them all, we needed a good bitchy judgment day!

  • “All the other girls in the shampoo station are going to be so jealous of her tomorrow.”


  • Anonymous

    Wow, that is a whole lot of ugly going on.  I loved your Cheryl Hines comment, who among us isn’t hoping to get laid by a hunk in tight jeans with a huge belt buckle?

  • Ella B. Mudge

    That Gretchen Wilson looks like she could bite the heads off of nails without giving it a second thought.  Mary Steenburgen looks great. I like Nicole’s fringe. But in that thumbnail where she’s smiling, look at her neck! Her face is so frozen that she can’t smile normally and has to do a feral grin face clench using her neck muscles. You usually only see a neck like that on someone under 60 when you’re looking a photos of bodybuilders when they’re in the midst of squatting 500 pounds.

  • Anonymous

    Wow…just wow.  Were all of Nashville’s gays out of town for the past week?  Surely they can stage an intervention for all these poor, challenged, country souls.

  • oohsparkley!

    Crystal’s dress is too big and too long, otherwise I think she’d look great.  I like Kristin C.’s dress.  I’m a sucker for the romantic, lacy looks.  Nicole’s dress was interesting and I was excited to see her looking so good, until the shoes.  They just don’t go.  T Lo’s comments were hysterical.  Jennifer Nettles looks hot!  Hillary Scott desperately needs help and this isn’t the first time.

  • This just doesn’t look to me like a red carpet. It looks like people dressed up for a wedding or something–a happy event for which they mostly looked in their closets and brought out a favorite outfit.  And got their sisters to paint their toenails. Ms. Kidman excepted, of course.

  • Anonymous

    Funny for a girl named Sunny to be saluting jaundice! Nice one, TLo.

  • Thank you for watching so we didn’t have to.

  • wow…once TLo gets into bitch mode, there is no getting them out is there?

  • Amanda in Austin

    I have only two thoughts.
    1. Why is Mary Steenburgen at the country music awards?
    2. Shania Twain’s shoes are HIDDY!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Nicole looks insane and ridiculous. I really dislike what she’s wearing here and her hair looks scruffy.

  • Anonymous

    “All the other girls in the shampoo station are going to be so jealous of her tomorrow.” Again: I love you people.

  • Anonymous

    Stop trying to throw Nicole a bone.  She looks awful.

  • Anonymous

    Stop trying to throw Nicole a bone.  She looks awful.

  • Anonymous

    The baptism joke almost alerted my coworkers to my goofing off.

    • Lisa

      I know, right?  The baptism joke was gold!

  • Anonymous

    The baptism joke almost alerted my coworkers to my goofing off.

  • Haha you girls on your period today? Hella bitchy!

  • I’m 98% sure that Sarah Darling is wearing a Betsey Johnson dress.

  • Anonymous

    Martina McBride looks like she tried on every top in her wardrobe and settled on this one cause she ran out of time

  • Anonymous

    Ashton’s dress is actually maternity by Isabel Oliver, I think.  And maternity should be graded on a sliding scale, since sometimes your body feels anything but pretty, and the choices are pretty limited. 

  • Anonymous

    Is it just me, or does Nicole have a tiny head?

  • margaret meyers

    Martina McBride and Melissa Peterman have great legs.  Too bad about their clothes. 

    You guys crack me up, so I hope the women of country music read your board and call that gay kid they went to high school with, the one who sang in the Baptist choir with them and listened to their virginity drama and helped them pick accessories at the mall, and ask for help.

  • Anonymous

    lol jaundice

  • Anonymous

    Wait, wait, hang on here….they give out AWARDS for Country Music??

  • Lisa

    OMG, so much fug!!  And all in one place!  Plus, I have to disagree, TLo – Nicole Kidman looks like a crackhead!

  • Anonymous

    Why???!!!  WHY!!!?? Awful! All of it! Awful!  

  • I thought Sara Evans and Sheryl Crow should have switched dresses if only for color and skin tone alone. 

  • Wowza.  Embrace the gays, country cousins, and be quick about it. Love the name Sunny Sweeney, whoever she is.

  • Jennifer Nettles is just adorable. She always seems to look great at these things. 

  • Sorry, but Nicole Kidman looks like one of those paper dolls I used to play with. The ones where you could pull down different flaps to give her different shoes, skirts, blouses, hair, etc. 

  • it’s a great color & even a tolerable jeweled belt {rare to put those words together} but why is mary steenburgen there?
    i mean, from me that is a serious question. is there something i no longer know?

    i really like nicole kidman’s outfit. another real winner color combo.

    i think the pink darling is wearing betsey johnson shoes. i love betsey johnson but for a red carpet event thats just kinda odd. also the most serious egregiousness thereupon would be the romance between the semi-identical twins, shoes & belt. & the tulle, & all of it, so  much that she looks like a cupcake w/ those little silver mercury ball things on it, except they made little gold mercury ball things to put on her frosting, just for her.

    i dont know who the person is but i do know you dont wear a vintage pastille sweater up-cycled, if you will, w/ a t-shirt that was inadvertently moved around during its screenprinting so the pattern’s off. i do know that. i gather she bought them separately on etsy. no not everything on etsy is awful–i have an etsy store, among other things–but these two are not among etsy’s best.

  • Anonymous

    Nicole look ATROCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Come ON!

  • It looks like Nicole painted her nails to match her shoes, too. Yikes.

  • Melissa Peterman looks just like Mary Hart circa 1987!  I’m surprised that wasn’t picked up.  Or, is that one for the “oldies?”

  • Shawn Hill

    Nicole brought it! Best by a mile. Took me awhile to remember why should be there, tho’.