2011 CMT Music Awards Red Carpet

Posted on June 09, 2011

Yeehaw, darlings! It was the CMT Awards and everybody did their durndest to uphold the stereotype by dressing in really shitty clothing! We feel a Judgment coming on!

Ashton Shepherd

Ashton can’t be bothered worrying about red carpets. She’s due on the lanai with Rose and Dorothy for some daiquiris. Wait, no. We got that wrong. Her dress is due on the lanai to be used as a seat covering in 1987.

Cheryl Hines

Cheryl Hines is obviously looking to get laid by some burly guy in tight jeans with a big belt buckle.

Crystal Bowersox

This girl needs an intervention so badly. She throws on these gowns for these events when you can see from space that she’s not the kind of gal who likes to wear gowns. It’s the CMTs. You can get away with overalls if you want to; gowns are not required. Not that we think she should be sporting overalls on the red carpet, but there’s got to be a halfway point between what she feels most comfortable wearing and what looks best in pictures.

Gretchen Wilson

For fuck’s sake, Crystal Bowersox, someone wore THIS. You can get away with the ditching the gowns. We wouldn’t mind this outfit if it weren’t for the “here are my abs” qualities.

Hillary Scott

When country music fully embraces the gays, things like this won’t happen anymore. We can help, country cousins.

Jana Kramer in Rachel Gilbert

We hate tulip skirts in any case, but we especially hate them when they seem to be urging everyone to look at your crotch. Also, this is peach. We assume you all agree that’s bad.

Jennifer Nettles

It’s a bit honky tonk, but that’s fine. It’s certainly not out of place.

Kristin Chenoweth in Miguelina

Were they performing baptisms on stage or something?

Laura Bell Bundy

It’s not bad, but – and we never thought we’d say this – there isn’t enough of a titscrepancy. If you’re gonna do the asymmetrical bust, it has to look like it was deliberate.

Martina McBride

Feels like it’s trying too hard to be young and hip.

Mary Steenburgen

Pretty, if a bit “1970s beauty pageant.”

Meghan Linsey of Steel Magnolia

All the other girls in the shampoo station are going to be so jealous of her tomorrow.

Melissa Peterman

A salute to bland.

Nicole Kidman in Proenza Schouler

Y’know, we’re really going to have to give it to her here. Truth be told, we’ve long thought she’s been resting on her so-called fashionista cred. It’s been a really long time since Nicole Kidman wore anything truly interesting or off the beaten path. This doesn’t all work perfectly – we don’t love the hem and while we DO love the shoes, we think they may be too much for the look – but it’s really striking and at first glance, we uttered, “Is that…Nicole?” which was the entire point, we suspect. The big-haired, tight-dressed ladies in the room must have been giving her the side-eye all night.

Sara Evans

Oh, GOD. We were going to give her a pass, even though it’s basically a bed sheet, until we saw that she PAINTED HER TOES TO MATCH HER DRESS. We’re sorry, even the CMTs have style standards. You’re going to have to get back in your limo, honey.

Sarah Darling

While we are inclined to support her just for her name alone (She should change her first name to “Kitten,” though), we can’t get behind this, which looks like a poorly fitted vintage dress. And gold and pink is a tough combo to pull off. She’s not pulling it off.

Shania Twain

She looks like she just left the office to attend parent-teacher conferences.

Sheryl Crow in Malandrino

No complaints.

Sunny Sweeney

A salute to jaundice.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

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