Yeehaw, darlings! It was the CMT Awards and everybody did their durndest to uphold the stereotype by dressing in really shitty clothing! We feel a Judgment coming on!
Ashton can’t be bothered worrying about red carpets. She’s due on the lanai with Rose and Dorothy for some daiquiris. Wait, no. We got that wrong. Her dress is due on the lanai to be used as a seat covering in 1987.
Cheryl Hines is obviously looking to get laid by some burly guy in tight jeans with a big belt buckle.
This girl needs an intervention so badly. She throws on these gowns for these events when you can see from space that she’s not the kind of gal who likes to wear gowns. It’s the CMTs. You can get away with overalls if you want to; gowns are not required. Not that we think she should be sporting overalls on the red carpet, but there’s got to be a halfway point between what she feels most comfortable wearing and what looks best in pictures.
For fuck’s sake, Crystal Bowersox, someone wore THIS. You can get away with the ditching the gowns. We wouldn’t mind this outfit if it weren’t for the “here are my abs” qualities.
When country music fully embraces the gays, things like this won’t happen anymore. We can help, country cousins.
We hate tulip skirts in any case, but we especially hate them when they seem to be urging everyone to look at your crotch. Also, this is peach. We assume you all agree that’s bad.
It’s a bit honky tonk, but that’s fine. It’s certainly not out of place.
Were they performing baptisms on stage or something?
It’s not bad, but – and we never thought we’d say this – there isn’t enough of a titscrepancy. If you’re gonna do the asymmetrical bust, it has to look like it was deliberate.
Feels like it’s trying too hard to be young and hip.
Pretty, if a bit “1970s beauty pageant.”
All the other girls in the shampoo station are going to be so jealous of her tomorrow.
A salute to bland.
Y’know, we’re really going to have to give it to her here. Truth be told, we’ve long thought she’s been resting on her so-called fashionista cred. It’s been a really long time since Nicole Kidman wore anything truly interesting or off the beaten path. This doesn’t all work perfectly – we don’t love the hem and while we DO love the shoes, we think they may be too much for the look – but it’s really striking and at first glance, we uttered, “Is that…Nicole?” which was the entire point, we suspect. The big-haired, tight-dressed ladies in the room must have been giving her the side-eye all night.
Oh, GOD. We were going to give her a pass, even though it’s basically a bed sheet, until we saw that she PAINTED HER TOES TO MATCH HER DRESS. We’re sorry, even the CMTs have style standards. You’re going to have to get back in your limo, honey.
While we are inclined to support her just for her name alone (She should change her first name to “Kitten,” though), we can’t get behind this, which looks like a poorly fitted vintage dress. And gold and pink is a tough combo to pull off. She’s not pulling it off.
She looks like she just left the office to attend parent-teacher conferences.
A salute to jaundice.
[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]