Christopher Meloni at the “White Bird In A Blizzard” Premiere

Break us off a piece of THAT.

PinChristopher Meloni attends the premiere of “White Bird In A Blizzard” at ArcLight Hollywood in Hollywood, California.

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That man.

But because this site is not run by our loins, we are capable of assessing his style choices and rendering judgment. Chris Meloni, we find you wanting. Which is not the same thing as us wanting you. The whole look says “drunk businessman.” The jacket’s poorly fitted all around, and hangs off him. The tie is a mistake. If you want to do pattern mixing (i.e., a checked tie with a striped suit), then you need to mix up the colors a bit too. And because we don’t think you’re spent the prior 12 hours working at your desk in that suit, Chris Meloni, we think it behooves you to button your shirt all the way and tighten your tie. Also, you may not like to hear this, Chris Meloni, but the older we get, the less often we should leave the house unshaven. Past a certain age, it stops looking roguish and starts looking homeless.

Let’s just make this easier for you, Chris. The next time you need to get dressed, call us. We’re very discreet.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Christopher Meloni
• Movie Premiere
• Red Carpet