Okay, we’ll give you this one, Drag Race. You got us. For about, oh… 200 or so seconds we completely bought into the fiction that this finale was like the ones of old; taped in front of an enormous cheering crowd in a theater. We momentarily forgot about how much the show cuts corners these days. The flashy editing and looped-in crowd noise worked on us briefly, before the rather cheesy reality set in. We suppose it’s not terrible that they tape the finale in the studio, in front of a crowd of maybe 150 employees people, but there’s no denying the vastly reduced energy level and sometimes, the cheap and obvious methods of trying to make the crowd look and sound bigger were a little embarrassing to watch.
Speaking of embarrassing, Mama Ru came out to shuffle her feet a few inches in either direction, point at things, and lip sync half-assedly to a whisper track that still managed to sound overly processed. We realize a bitch has got bills to pay and she’s been doing this a long time, but these fairly terrible performances always puzzle the hell out of us. Why would you put out such a limp act when you’re going to be followed up by four much younger, much hungrier queens putting everything they have into their numbers? It just makes Ru look like she’s in no position to be judging anyone. Given how fake the staging is in this finale, and how overly edited most of the numbers are on this show, she must be putting out some shit work if they can’t even cheat it into a half-decent number in post.
Mama Liza’s also got bills to pay — or at least a documentary and memoir to sell — so presumably she was okay with this staging, although we found it a little cringey. She was famously upset with the Academy several years back when they wheeled her out onstage with Lady Gaga pretty much against her will, so we’re a bit surprised to see her agreeing to an appearance that makes her look small, wizened, and unable to perform. There were so many more dignified ways to have this moment, but then again, World of Wonder doesn’t exactly trade in dignity. She looked great, though.
Her? Really? No shade against Crystal for winning Miss Congeniality, but we really didn’t see much evidence for this choice in the editing, which barely seemed to notice her most of the time. It’s also a bit notable to us how much the non-finalist queens were sidelined in this finale. They all got to walk out and then were told to sit in the loser’s box for the proceedings.
And now it’s time for the bitches’ critiques:
While several aspects of the finale came off rather cheap and poorly presented, the musical numbers performed by the finalists were not among them. All four queens got great songs and each of them clearly spent a considerable amount of time in rehearsals. We were a little surprised to see how polished Jewels was. We didn’t think she was a frontrunner going into the finale, but she shot to that status immediately.
Lexi also slayed the absolute shit out of her number. The skate choreo was fantastic, but her vocals were a little muddy and rushed. Again, we were left wondering if we were looking at a new frontrunner.
But Onya left no doubt. All of the performances were great, but hers benefited from being the only one who can truly sing and also by having the highest level of polish and professionalism of all the queens.
Of the four finalists, Sam was the weakest performance. She was still great, but her fake-smile pageant queen persona was always going to hinder her in the end. The thing about Drag Race is that it rewards queens with polish, but it doesn’t reward queens with too much polish. Ru likes to see a little vulnerability or connection and Sam, for all her poise, just doesn’t have that.
Sam and Lexi were dumped rather unceremoniously and it seems like the latter queen had some rather epic reveals lined up for her final lip sync. We might see the argument that Lexi deserved another shot, but it was definitely Sam’s time to go.
Jewels and Onya faced off to Gaga’s Abracadabra and it really looked like Onya might have had the crown snatched from her in the final moments. Jewels connected to the song much better and had the right kind of choreography for it.
Onya inexplicably chose a terrible costume for performing, and her choreo was awkward and ill suited to the song. Onya’s been head and shoulders above all the other queens all season long, but this final moment didn’t play to her strengths at all.
Hate to say it, but no one was serving at Nymphia’s level this entire season.
As far as we’re concerned, the right queen won the season, so condragulations to Onya. She was always at the top of her game and clearly among the most talented of the queens. But if you think that final lip sync should have been the deciding factor (we don’t), then this is a disappointing turn of events, we guess.
Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold! It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.
[Photo Credit: MTV via Tom and Lorenzo]
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