The queens are handed a design challenge with a confusing twist and they decide to start tearing chunks out of each other for no reason that we can see! But first:
Now that’s the kind of product placement we can support.
No time for mini-challenges this time around, probably because the main challenge was kind of complicated, but at least we got the return of the Pit Crew, which is sadly used less and less with each passing season. As for the challenge, it involved pairing off into teams of two, with each member picking a number that revealed an iconic red carpet look. Each member of the team has to create a look that combines elements of the looks each team member chose. THEN, each team member will be judged against the other. Whew. We just got finished ranting about how stale Drag Race has become so we feel like we can’t complain about an overly complicated challenge. At least they’re trying.
There was all kinds of drama that happened off camera with Briar, which makes it impossible to really understand what happened or if anyone has legitimate beef with her. But usually with reality TV beefs, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and Briar did walk into the Werk Room more or less announcing what a bitch she planned on being.
To be fair, Athena can be quite imperious and full of herself and she’s clearly extremely frustrated that she’s not getting her due in the competition, so it looks to us like she’s focusing on side bullshit too much. Briar got a little vulnerable about her own hangups, but it’s hard not to see it as a manipulation on her part. We think when altercations happen off camera it’s because someone is trying to stir shit without looking like a shit-stirrer.
Yadda yadda yadda OMG I just made a huge mistake how am I ever going to get this done in time I’m so fucked blah blah blah. Lather, rinse, repeat. Let’s look at the mashups.
The “problem” with this challenge (really, it’s more of a feature), is that random outfit mashups are likely to skew extremely tacky if not downright ugly. If this were an episode of Project Runway, that might represent an obstacle to the contestants, but because this is drag, it can be a benefit. Neither of these looks are what we’d call good, but Juicy’s had a draggy exuberance to it that made all the tackiness work. Briar’s was simply an unattractive design.
On the other hand, we thought both of these attempts were fairly poor, given the inspirations, which actually could have blended together to make something interesting and fabulous. Discord’s construction is impressive, but that skirt is just plain ugly and the design feels too much like a ripoff of the Cher piece without enough of the Sarah Paulson piece. We were surprised by how much the judges praised Jane’s look, but we think it came down to them loving a reference that Ru got (Bea Arthur in Mame). The look is styled well, but the design is weird and owes nothing to the inspirations except the color story.
We disagreed with the judges on this one as well. Both of these outfits are tacky. The apparent crime of Myki is that hers is over-embellished. Fair, but this is drag, bitches. We also thought the blue sheer was a smart way to bridge the unbridgeable gap between the two textiles. Nini made some smart design choices, but Myki’s outfit is simply more interesting to look at.
These two got handed a nearly impossible task. There’s just no way to combine the famous meat dress with denim. Ciara did some interesting things to mimic meat, but we hated the denim portion. Kenya served a look, but it came down to styling and attitude. The actual design was a big nothing.
Mia and Vita had the easiest time of it because both of these looks are very draggy already and they coordinate well. Mia’s look was interesting, especially the way she used the lavender textile, but it was too similar to Lil Kim’s original and her titty looked terrible because it’s clearly not meant to be exposed and the gap between her actual chest and the fake one was massive. Vita won it the second she stepped out on stage. That is pure high drag and the design work is impressive.
We have to say, while the challenge seemed designed to produce ugly results, it was a legitimately fun one, our bitching aside. All of the choices for iconic red carpet looks were correct, according to these two red carpet queens. As for this final mashup, it was another fairly unworkable one, although both of these queens did better with it than we could have predicted. Darlene did a basic floral gown and just added some metal to it, but Athena really thought about how to integrate both elements in a way that made sense. Then, this happened:
Y’know… we can’t really blame any of the queens for wondering if Briar was pulling some sort of stunt here, but even before she confirmed that she was diagnosed with walking pneumonia after she left the show, we thought her collapse was real, just by the way her whole body seemed to crumble before she fell over. That’s not easy to fake. And sure, it’s nasty to throw out an accusation before you have all the facts, but that’s one of the risks you take when you decide to be the shit-stirrer in the group.
So condragulations to Vita. Well-deserved.
Briar and Kenya wound up in the bottom, which was correct, as far as we’re concerned. It wasn’t exactly an epic lip sync, but given how sick Briar is reported to have been, it’s pretty impressive how well she held up.
Let that be a lesson to any future queens. If you decide to be the troublemaker in the group, no one’s going to come to your defense when you collapse.
Girl, if you ever thought we were going to stop plugging our book, you weren’t paying attention: Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold (like at this link)! It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.
[Still Credit: MTV]
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