The night shift took over in the two-part season opener talent show and it looks to us like the B group is collectively more talented than last week’s queens. But first…
Not that we had a problem with seeing Lawrence Chaney again, but this whole bit was a clear time-stretcher in an episode that didn’t have much to offer aside from the main challenge.
A good chunk of the episode was turned over to Werk Room shenanigans of plotting and flirting among the queens. Again, not something we mind seeing, but it was clear that the production was running out the clock to get to the meat of the episode. It’s early days, but we suspect some alliances and grudges established in these episodes are going to continue to play out over the season. There’s a refreshing sense that these queens aren’t necessarily timid about how they might appear, which can only be a good thing for the season in the long run.
The category was “Is it cake?” which, in this instance, was a reference to ass, not dessert. Although for plenty of people, ass is de– you know what? We’ll just move on. Sam took the most literal approach, but hers was probably the best look of the lot.
It’s pretty, but not very interesting or creative.
It was sort of a cute idea, but the airbrushing turned it kind of ugly.
YA BASIC.
We couldn’t make heads or tails out of the look or what Lexi was trying to convey with it, but we like that her drag is so hard to pin down. As Michelle noted, the earrings were a hilarious touch.
It’s cute enough, but completely unoriginal. Sort of like Hormona.
Lana relies on her body a little too much, but this is a challenge practically tailor-made for her drag and she absolutely nailed it. It’s a great look.
Boy, shave your damn ass. If Acacia was a purveyor of genderfuck drag and if this look had any sort of edge to it at all, we wouldn’t care about his hairy ass, but because the look is so dreary and her drag is so basic, the choice just comes off lazy and half-assed.
It’s a spectacular butthole, we’ll give her that. The costume is interesting, but we admit to being a little puzzled by her alien/’80s power bitch aesthetic. We can’t help thinking those church pumps are a terrible choice here.
We admit to feeling a bit let down after she served such amazing looks last week.
This comes off very confused and Michelle is absolutely correct to put her stiletto’d foot down on Marie Antoinette drag. Girls, it’s beyond tired at this point.
We hesitate to call this look creative because in all honestly, we have no idea what she created or why. It has something to with sponges and dishes? It’s certainly unique, but it feels like she’s off on her own planet, kind of ignoring whatever it is the judges are asking for. Having said that, we really like that this crop of queens are craftier and their costumes have more of a homemade vibe to them.
It’s just okay. Lydia talks a lot of smack about how boring the other girls are, but she hasn’t done a thing to earn that bravado.
Enh. We want to give Suzie credit for interpreting the category creatively, but we just know we’re going to get tired of her ugly drag sooner rather than later. She’s entertaining to watch, but the looks aren’t up to the show’s level, in our opinion.
Sam came out for the talent portion finger guns-a-blazing, after spending two episodes smack-talking most of her competitors. The performance was okay, but somewhat frantic.
Like most of the queens, Onya came out with a prepared track and some dance moves. What kept her number memorable was the silly hook and the dance moves. If you’re just going to come out there and rap about how fabulous you are, no one’s going to care, but if you give them something to sing to or laugh at, you’re golden. She should’ve been in the top.
Crystal’s number might have been one of those forgettable “I’m so great” bits, but she commanded the stage with high energy and she gave the judges a couple of reveals. We wouldn’t have placed her in the top but we suspect she wound up there because no one expected her to come out so hard.
We’ll say it: We have no idea why Hormona is even here. Her drag is basic and her attitude is kind of awful. She was easily the worst act in both talent shows.
A cute number, but we remain a little under-impressed with her drag so far.
Another cute number that was well executed and largely forgettable. You’ve got to have some sort of hook. Crystal’s reveals, Onya’s dance moves, and even Kori’s cup of ice made their numbers memorable.
But no one had a better hook than Lexi. She had the energy, she had the moves, she had the light attitude that made the act fun to watch. She put herself on the map this week because we don’t think anyone considered her a contender before now.
The queens placed Crystal and Lexi in the top spots (both of which were a bit of a surprise to us) and they tore that stage to pieces by serving up the first epic lip synch of the season. Lexi proved our often-stated point that the girl most suited to the song – in this case, guest judge Doechii’s “Alter Ego” – is almost always the girl who’s going to win the lip sync. Crystal was great, but Lexi understood how to work those lyrics.
After an entire episode of scheming and planning, Acacia got her wish: a LSFYL against Hormona. It was whatever the total opposite of “epic” is called. A low-energy effort from two queens who couldn’t signal more clearly that they’re the cannon fodder of the season. Acacia won it by default, but Ru wasn’t done with her pet queen just yet.
We would like to thank the producers of RuPaul’s Drag Race for so clearly and unquestionably confirming our longheld stance that this show is not a legitimate competition in any way. Just sit back and enjoy how dumb it gets. Ru’s gonna hand out the prizes and eliminations based on whims and ratings ploys.
Evidently, this is going to be a weekly feature of the competition, but there’s no way in hell you’ll ever get us to believe that RuPaul’s literal hand-picked queen just happened to pull the right lever on the first try. Losing the talent contest and the lip sync shouldn’t get you a free trip to Las Vegas, but all of this is so clearly designed to piss off the other queens. Hormona may think she’s RuPaul’s favorite girl, but we suspect the production sees her as this season’s troublemaker.
Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold! It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.
[Photo Credit: MTV via Tom and Lorenzo]
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