It’s The KLARNA Lip Synch Lalaparuza Smackdown, darlings! Let’s all thank Klarna for their kind sponsorship every chance we get!
While a Lalaparuza is almost always fun to watch, they don’t exactly provide your friendly neighborhood recappers with much to talk about. Sure, we can do a breakdown of each lip sync, but the results are always so edited that, unless someone is up there executing a total trainwreck or someone is up there producing a pure jaw-dropper of a performance (both relatively rare these days), it’s difficult to really assess the results. It’s perhaps notable that the queens in the Werk Room got their predictions wrong more often than right. Does that mean there were shenanigans afoot? Probably. Maybe. One has to go on the assumption that shenanigans are always afoot in any reality TV show, but we think this had more to do with the fact that there were no disasters and no standouts among the performances.
The Final Four had little to do this week and none of them could be blamed for phoning it in, but we think it’s interesting how Alyssa and Nehellenia came out in stunning looks, while Kween re-wore an old frock and Kitty did her usual. Alyssa and Nehellenia are gunning for that crown.
You’re welcome.
It has to be said: The lip syncs were rather unimpressive all around and we can’t help thinking that the song choices had a lot to do with it. By giving them nothing but Ru tracks to choose from, the production ensured that pretty much every face-off would be lackluster. Sorry, but Ru has only one or two killer tracks to her name and the rest of them are bland and forgettable.
The wheel chose Vanity, who picked Eva, who picked “Just What They Want.” Vanity had some interesting moves with her ponytail, but Eva easily too this one, to our surprise.
Soa picked Tessa, who picked “ASMR Lover,” which is a cringe-worthy title and song. This was a pretty good matchup because both of these queens bring high energy to their lip syncs. Tessa looked great and gave her a run for her money, but Soa’s really good at interpreting a song with her face, which is a skill Tessa lacks. Her body work is great, but there’s little emotion in her performance.
Athena picked Pythia who chose “Jealous of My Boogie” and we’re sorry, but we don’t remember anything about this faceoff, except that Pythia is clearly not a lip sync sort of queen. We don’t understand Athena’s coat at all. She ditched it for a smaller shrug, but it was still heavy and dreary-looking to us.
Miranda and Gala faced off, with Gala picking “Cha Cha Bitch.” This was such an odd matchup. Miranda seems pretty checked out from the competition, in that way that certain queens realize that the franchise isn’t interested in their form of drag. Personally, we find Gala’s whipping and dipping to be a bit repetitive and dull, but Miranda had no connection to the song at all.
In the semi-finals, Gala chose Eva, who chose “Call Me Mother,” probably the best of Ru’s songs for lip syncing. We thought Eva had this one completely wrapped up. She served face and attitude, her lip sync was flawless, and she did more with the song than just whip her hair around and shove her crotch at the judges. Not that we’re all that scandalized by Gala’s performance and style; just that we find it very boring.
Soa and Athena faced off to “You Wear it Well.” Athena never had a chance.
Gala and Soa faced off with “The Beginning” and once again, Soa interpreted the song with emotion while Gala interpreted it with his body. Not for nothing, Soa had one of the best costumes for lip syncing. It kept your eye on her but it never got in her way or distracted her from the song. A lot of the costumes this week were on the ugly side, including Gala’s.
It wasn’t the most epic of Lalaparuzas, but Soa earned her win.
Legendary Children: The First Decade of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Last Century of Queer Life, a New York Times “New and Notable” pick, praised by The Washington Post “because the world needs authenticity in its stories,” and chosen as one of the Best Books of The Year by NPR is on sale wherever fine books are sold! It’s also available in Italian and Spanish language editions, darlings! Because we’re fabulous on an INTERNATIONAL level.
[Photo Credit: Paramount Plus via Tom and Lorenzo, World of Wonder Productions, Inc./Paramount+]
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