Headless Marie Antoinettes! Drag Last Suppers! A queer polycule, for some reason! The Opening Ceremony for the 2024 Paris Olympics turned out to be far stranger than anyone predicted. Unfortunately, it also turned out to be somewhat poorly conceived and executed. The parade of nations looked more like refugees, as multiple countries were shoved onto boats in the rain, so far from the crowds and the cameras that they literally had to jump up and down to even be seen. There were too many things happening in too many locations too far from everything, leaving the television coverage wildly unfocused. The final hour or so, when darkness descended and Paris truly became a city of lights, improved tremendously, capped off by an already legendary return performance by Celine Dion, but overall, we’d have to rate the entire extravaganza pretty badly produced. But at least we have some fashion to look at, as one should expect with any Parisian extravaganza.
CYNTHIA ERIVO (IN LOUIS VUITTON) AND ARIANA GRANDE (IN THOM BROWNE)
They are going to be so annoying on the Wicked promo tour. Personally, we’re kinda hoping that theirs will be the publicity tour that kills the public’s taste for theme dressing. Having said that, these looks are pretty damn cute. Ariana’s could not suit her any better, right down to the waist bow. Cynthia’s is cutting into her a little at the bust, but we love the shape and the addition of the hat. We’re also very grateful that it’s not a pointy witch hat, although we think it’s safe to say she’s going to come out in one at some point over the next few months.
LADY GAGA IN DIOR COUTURE
Gaga’s performance was actually painful to watch. Turns out, you can’t just hang a stage off the banks of the Seine and have it turn out to be a viable performing space. Like so much of the opening ceremony, it was a cute idea on paper that just didn’t work in reality. The thing about stadium shows is that you have everything contained in one space and it’s easier to focus both the live audience’s and the cameras’ attention. Everything felt like it was happening in a parking lot, very far away. The song, “Mon Truc En Plumes” was a cute choice – again, on paper – but it didn’t play to her strengths as a performer. There were long stretches where she wasn’t vocalizing at all, just ooh-la-la-ing all over that tiny stage. As for the stagewear, we were a bit shocked to discover it was provided by Dior. The feather puffs and the train were fun, but the rest of it was pretty bland.
CELINE DION IN DIOR COUTURE
Don’t worry. We have nothing bad to say about Celine’s moment, which was triumphant, iconic, and stirring. She looked gorgeous. We don’t even like fringe, but you won’t hear us complaining about it here. Besides, she needed all the shimmer and sparkle she could summon, because she was little more than a sparkling dot above the crowd.
[Photo Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages]
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