Jake Gyllenhaal, Eiza González and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II at the AMBULANCE Los Angeles Premiere

Posted on April 05, 2022

Darlings, the longest promotional tour in the history of Hollywood continues as the stars of Ambulance hit the red carpet for the LA premiere. Our professional assessment: the vibes were off. It feels like this cast is getting a little tired of the poledance perhaps.

Oh, hey. We don’t think we’ve used “poledance” to describe a celebrity promo tour since the Before Times. We just knew we’d return to being shallow someday.



Jake Gyllenhaal in Giorgio Armani

We realize that the Big Suit is well and truly trending, but this just looks like depression in suit form. We can get behind the slouchy fit of the jacket, but those pants are elephantine. A shirt that provides some contrast would do a lot to elevate this.


Eiza González in Fendi Couture

This just feels off to us. The whites don’t match and neither do the reds. Do they have to? Maybe – especially when there’s such a starkness to the design and color story. Something about the design – perhaps the different weight of the textiles – just doesn’t work for us. Everything about it feels unresolved. And we don’t think that necklace was well chosen.



Yahya Abdul-Mateen II in Versace

We laughed – which is at least partly the point of this look, we think. At the very least, it’s meant to be fun. We don’t know if we can get behind the cut of his pants either, especially when paired with those shoes. The giant footwear of the runway shot makes more sense to us. Love the coat.



Style Credits:
Jake Gyllenhaal: Giorgio Armani Ensemble | Cartier Jewelry
Styled by Michael Fisher

Eiza González: Fendi Couture Dress | Bulgari Jewelry | Christian Louboutin Shoes
Styled by Elizabeth Saltzman

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II: Versace Ensemble
Styled by Jan-Michael Quammie


[Photo Credit: Faye’s Vision/Cover Images/INSTARImages.com, fendi.com, Courtesy of Versace]

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