Let’s all stop and acknowledge the importance of this moment in the annals of J Lo fashion history. Something rare has occurred. Something that we need a little time to process because we’re not sure how to proceed. You see, we can always count on Miss Jennifer to serve us something worth discussing on the fashion front. She has an admirably savvy and workmanlike approach to her self-promotion and we’ve made the point many times over that such legendary Hollywood workhorses and media manipulators as Joan Crawford and Elizabeth Taylor are looking down on Jennifer Lopez’s exhaustive and exhausting efforts and smiling with pride and recognition. Girlfriend has spent DECADES ensuring that she’s the topic of conversation and the point of light at which all heads and cameras turn. Her fashion history is replete with looks that range from high-fashion chic to street-fashion fierce and even when she wore something objectively terrible, it always felt like she’d still managed to make it worth talking about. But ooof. HONEY…
May we direct you to that ultimate indicator that the outfit’s not working: BODY LANGUAGE? See how Jenny tries to be uncharacteristically cute with her posing, as if to say, “Don’t look at my giant bra bow or my 1992 office manager’s slacks. Look at my jaunty hat instead!”
See how EXTREMELY RELAXED Jenny’s hands are.
Note the uncharacteristically demure pose and clasped hands coupled with the tense shoulders. No, the message is clear. Jenny hates this.
Which is at least a point in her favor. Like we said, she’s worn plenty of bad outfits in her time, but it’s really rare to see her sport a look that comes off cheap, unflattering, and not remotely telegenic or photogenic. In promotional fashion, there are two kinds of bad: the eye-popping “I can’t believe she wore that!” ensembles and the sad off-the-sales-rack outfits. She almost never lands on the latter. Mark this date in your fashion diary.
In other news, Derek Hough thinks an undershirt looks good on TV. He is wrong.
[Photo Credit: Trae Patton/NBC – Stills: NBC via Tom and Lorenzo]