Jessica Biel in Louis Vuitton at Facebook Watch’s “Limetown” Screening

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People tend to think we’re big ol’ meanies to Miss Jessica for being a yawn in the shape of a human woman (and they are evidently correct on the matter), but in our defense, we think her husband’s a douchebag, so we’re being all equal opportunity about it.

Believe it or not, after that opening, we plan on paying some compliments. And believe it or not, they’re aimed at her very weird outfit. Brace yourselves.

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Okay, so. It’s a lot, we know. It’s also Louis Vuitton, which means you have to expect a certain level of WTFery. And we will stand firmly on our soapbox, megaphone in hand, and shout to the world that black leather tulip miniskirts are like the worst fucking thing humans ever came up with. Aesthetically speaking. But we think the top half is kind of fun and interesting. If the bottom half was literally anything else – maxi, pants, shorts, culottes, tutu – we’d probably give this look an overall positive rating.

But the boots do not go at all, of course.

Style Credits:
– Louis Vuitton Ensemble from the Spring 2020 Collection
– Bulgari Jewelry
– Louis Vuitton Leather Boots from the Spring 2020 Collection

Styled by Rob Zangardi + Mariel Haenn | Hair by Adir Abergel | Makeup by Kara Yoshimoto Bua

[Photo Credit: Guillermo Proano/PR Photos, Courtesy of Louis Vuitton – Video Credit: Facebook Watch via YouTube.com]

• Bulgari
• Facebook Watch
• Jessica Biel
• Limetown
• Louis Vuitton
• Red Carpet
• Rob Zangardi + Mariel Haenn
• TV Series Premiere