2011 Billboard Music Awards

Posted on May 23, 2011

Kittens, it was the 2011 Billboard Music Awards, held at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Maybe we’re burnt out from those horrid dressers of Young Hollywood, but this crowd did relatively well, all things considered. Come. Judge with us.

Beyonce in Lanvin

Pretty much perfect. The exaggerated shoulders really work with her curviness. The earrings look tacky but we like the shoes.

Bleona Qereti

This is not a dress. This is an exuberant slip.

Fergie in Hervé Léger by Max Azria

Oh dear. Dressed designed by a committee of monkeys hopped up on Red Bull, we’d say. There’s no way one human being came up with this monstrosity. It took a village. Of Meth addicts. How in the hell do you put on a dress that looks like an overloaded luggage rack and think “I’m ready to have my picture taken?”

Hillary Scott

It’s just okay. We don’t think that deep V neck works well with her shape. The shoes look like Payless.

Julie Brown

Still a tacky dresser, we see. Sequined leggings. We’ll just leave you with that thought, kittens.


WOW! We didn’t think anyone was going to top Fergie’s dress for sheer ugliness, but well done, you! Because this? HIDEOUS. It’s assaulting us, darlings. We’re going to have bruises later.

Kelly Rowland

As standard as it gets, but you can’t say the girl doesn’t look good.

Keri Hilson in Rachel Roy

Great dress in a great color with a great belt. Well done.

Kylie Minogue in Alexander McQueen

Cute, but she looks like she’s bolted to the floor in those shoes. Way too heavy and big for such a tiny little thing.

Mary J. Blige in Marc Bouwer

Thank you for being a diva, Mary J. It’s not the classiest or most stylish of looks, but it’s perfectly right both for her and for Vegas. It’s a “I SAID ‘Look at me,’ Bitches!” dress.

Meredith Fuller

Standard; way too short for her.

Michelle Williams

We don’t love it, but we’d like it a lot more without the crazy bandoliers on the bodice. Shoes too heavy. Is that the next shoe trend? Didn’t we just have that trend?

Nicki Minaj in Mark Fast

It’s Nicki Minaj in Vegas. What did you expect?

Nicole Kidman in Dries Van Noten

We hate dresses with a sheer long skirt over a mini. It just looks stupid. Shit or get off the pot. You either want to cover your legs or you don’t. Pretty dress otherwise. Hate the braid. We’ve noticed quite a few ladies wearing simple low-heeled sandals with long skirts and we have to say, we love that. Very chic looking.

Rihanna in Max Azria

We don’t like the fullness of the pants or the nude pointy-toed shoes, but she does look pretty amazing here. Love the hair.

Selena Gomez in Dolce & Gabbana

Cutouts on your dress PLUS sequined bows on your shoes? Oh, honey. That’s stripper wear.

Taylor Swift in Elie Saab

We thought we’d do a solid for the people who put this event together and feature one picture with an unimpeded view of all the corporate logos. Not a person in sight; just a backdrop.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage, style.com]

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