Jessica Chastain in Dolce&Gabbana at the Ischia Global Film & Music Fest

Posted on July 14, 2014

As always, we try and kick off the week with a little brightness and color. So, points for that, Jessica.

Jessica-Chastain-Ischia-Global-Film-Music-Fest-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO-1Jessica Chastain attends the Ischia Global Film & Music Fest 2014 in Ischia, Italy in a Dolce&Gabbana dress paired with Charlotte Olympia ‘Octavia’ sandals.


Jessica-Chastain-Ischia-Global-Film-Music-Fest-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO-3BCharlotte Olympia ‘Octavia’ Sandal


But we’re not sure we’re in the mood to award any more points. Colorful, sure. But flattering? Is that neckline ever flattering? Does any woman really want hot peppers floating on her boobs? Was gold really the way to go with the accessories? Are those the ugliest shoes we’ve ever seen? So damn many questions. Thanks a lot, Jessica. Now the week has been kicked off with hot peppers and doubt. That was not what we had in mind.




[Photo Credit: SGP/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, Charlotte Olympia]

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  • imperfectlaura

    I think the answers to your questions are no. However, I can’t help but think that Dita von Teese would rock the crap outta this dress.

    • MeghanElyse

      I think the neckline is one that works best on someone with a very pronounced waist, so in that sense the dress seems very much like one that Dita von Teese could pull off. Although no one would be helped by that band of red around the waist.

      • kimmeister

        The neckline would be good on someone with narrow shoulders who wants to visually widen them.

    • jen_vasm

      D&G is so frustrating because their designs tend to be for a woman with a somewhat full bust, but not too much bust, maybe a full B cup or small C. Jessica does not have enough bust to fill out the bodice properly. Also, I’m not that crazy about where that hem hits her.

    • evave2

      The world needs more Dita. And I agree with T/L about the shoes; what is it with the pedestals on heels this year? I don’t like.

  • Chireader

    Blanche Devereaux would rock this look – – in fact, I’m pretty sure she wore it on the show

  • Kent Roby

    “Hot Peppers and Doubt: The Anthony Kiedis Story”. This dress is more of a visual assault than a refreshing color pop. Katy could probably make this work, though.

    • LucĂ­a Gavello

      Yes, I can only see it on Katy Perry, not even on Dita. I mean, this is not a colorful, fun dress, this is a salad bar.

  • Sophie

    With that neckline and those peppers, it rather looks like a cooking apron. Maybe one of those convertible dresses from the 50s or 60s, in which you could cook and clean and still look good in case of a surprise visit?

  • I like the dress but I think it needs a bold brunette to wear it well. Monica Belluci?

    • kimmeister

      This dress also needs the right skin color. It looks like Jessica has blue undertones to her skin, so when she wears cobalt blue on top of it, the effect is that she’s freezing, or dying, or something.

      • Thomas

        Coming from a fellow ginger, I don’t think it’s the blue that’s the problem necessarily. We can usually rock that blue. I think it’s the ketchup/tomato red in the dress, combined with the yellow. I don’t think the bangs are helping either, but it would definitely look better on a brunette.

    • FridaStaire

      oh yes, please!

  • SugarSnap108

    No, that neckline is never flattering — especially when hot peppers are sprinkled across it, I have now learned.

    I love a good blue/red combo. But this look lacks the “good” part.

  • TrixieConQueso

    Carmon Mirandaesque – but needs fun fruits on her head.

    • Bad Idea Jeans

      Exactly what I was thinking! Give this girl a fruit hat!

  • yllas

    I adore the shoes, and the earrings. Sue me! As for the print of the dress, without the hot peppers, it looks distressingly like the babushka worn 50 years ago by my immigrant grandmother. (or her tablecloth).

  • The Counselor

    That is Sophia Loren’s neckline.

    • Anne At Large

      And possibly her kitchen tablecloth, as well.

      • Introspective


      • The Counselor

        Good call.

    • ConnieBV

      Yep. You gotta have big knockers and a very well defined waist for that. My waist is not as tiny as it once was, but my boobs look FANTASTIC in that neckline.

  • Capt. Renault

    This makes me so sad. She seems like such a lovely person. She deserves better.

  • Reine Bron

    This is not Jessica’s dress

  • luludexter

    it’s just not her dress. doesn’t fit, doesn’t suit her coloring, and requires some retro something to really work.

  • marlie

    I love the dress, but it doesn’t fit her properly. It seems like the bodice of the dress is too long for her torso. I could maaaaaybe get on board with the earrings, but I hate the shoes. I also like her hair cut and color; it really suits her.

    • kimmeister

      I agree that she is too short waisted for this dress, and also that her hair looks good. Actually, I hate the shoes and like the earrings too, so I’m twinsies with you today!

    • conniemd

      I love the dress too. It just looks awful on her. It’s a nice summer day dress but styled horribly. The jewelry and shoes are fighting with the dress because they are both too bold. This was a dress that needed those Stuart Weitzman tiny strap shoes and plain earrings.

    • DuBey2

      As usual, I agree with you, Marlie. Except: I hate the earrings also.
      What I do love, is the bottom half of the dress, and the yellow band. But that was all the more reason to employ a bold colored stripy sandal and NOT that cheap (in looks only, I am sure) gold shoe.
      The bustline fits weird, no doubt, but the rest of the dress is refreshing. Tailoring would have been a great idea.

  • JasmineAM

    Obliterates her waistline.

    • Introspective

      that’s my problem with it. that red waistline block makes her look, well, blocky.

      i know she’s positively a size nothing. so this dress is doing her no favors.

  • SewingSiren

    I love it. Top to toe. Everything falls into place , especially the way they used the border print. And the gold platform shoes, yea those too.

    • demidaemon

      Me too! So far, it looks like just the two of us!

      • Tlazolteotl

        Count me in, too!

  • If the post hadn’t had Jessica’s name in the title, I would never have guessed it was her. If your outfit/makeup/hairstyle obliterates your identity, there’s a problem bigger than red peppers across one’s boobs.

  • I’m flabbergasted by how wide this dress makes her long, despite knowing she is not a wide woman.

    As ever, I live for your commentary, TLo. Hot peppers and doubt for a Monday morning, indeed.

    • Emily

      She has a knack for picking dresses that make her look thick in the middle. Which is INSANE. I met her once and she is so, so small.

  • Anna

    I like the colours, but the colour-blocking is making her look thick around the waist.

    Need more espresso now. Hot peppers and doubt + Monday mornings don’t go together, I’ve learned. Thank you indeed, Jessica, for teaching us this valuable lesson.

  • Janet B

    I like the fabric, for an apron or table linens.
    The fit is bad through the bodice.

  • Danielle

    I like the dress, but I wish the skirt had a little more flow or flounce to it.

  • Alyssa

    I like the dress in theory, but it is making her appear thick in the waist, which I’m sure she isn’t.

  • MilaXX

    It a well put together look, but it leaves me flat. I think that print is just not flattering on her and I’m not feeling those gold accessories.

  • Andrea B

    I want that fabric. I need new curtains in the kitchen.

  • Malibufire

    Some abuelita’s tablecloth and some puta’s shoes. GTNYDOS

  • ceceliadid

    Excellent look for making tableside guacamole.

  • AC Simons

    Scroll-down fug. I hate those shoes – they make her look stumpy and heading toward cankle territory. The dress is fun and looks quite nice on her – I like the bustline – she has a lovely decolletage.

  • Snidge

    I am also not loving the fringe on her. Makes her look somehow really pedestrian, like she’s a morning TV presenter, not a movie star!

  • Ana the Hated

    The only thing that could penetrate my Monday morning Permanent Bitch Face is the look of disgust upon seeing those hiddy shoes. Now back to the regularly scheduled PBF.

  • Lori

    I don’t hate the dress as much as it probably deserves, but that’s at least partially because those hideous shoes are sucking up all the hate i have available. Those things are incredibly bad.

  • msdamselfly

    I think it’s attractive-outside her wheelhouse

  • lilibetp

    But those aren’t the ugliest shoes you’ve ever seen. Li Bingbing’s nude “hooves” a couple of weeks ago were far worse.

  • Shannon Long

    I am a total sucker for D&G’s produce prints! I would wear this dress in a hot second (no pun intended).

  • Anna

    There’s a lot of busy-ness with the print and the bright colors – it takes over her body. The are not the worst, but they do nothing for Jessica’s legs – they stumpify. The face is still beautiful though!

    • kimmeister

      I think the ankle straps stumpify much more than the dress.

      • Anna

        That’s actually what I meant – just noticed I failed to actually write the word, “shoes.” *sigh*

        • kimmeister

          It’s Monday, you get a pass. 🙂

  • Tee

    Girl, hand over the dress now because I would WERQ the daylights outta it!

  • Jaeda Laurez

    The dress is too busy- your eyes have no IDEA where to go. I like the shape of the dress in theory, but I’d prefer the neckline to be more sweetheart-y. The shoes are a non-starter, especially with her skin tone. And I like the shoes, but not on her.

  • flamingoNW

    Boy, didn’t think it was possible that a pencil silhouette could be so unflattering on someone. Maybe it’s just that it’s too long and that waistline is doing horrible things to her shape. Those shoes are horrible on her too.

  • Joey Melliza

    serving hot peppers and doubt, with a side of unflattering dress…

  • PastryGoddess

    Those shoes are horrible with that dress. Why do you do this to us Jessica?

  • pepper76

    Whatever, people. It’s a fun dress and she looks smokin’ hot in that last shot.

  • I really dig the print of the dress. However, it’s not working as a pencil skirt. If the skirt had a bit of flare and shorter in length, it would have been better. And in total agreement about the shoes. So ugly.

    Love the neckline, though.

  • MarissaLG

    I really hate the print. Chili peppers? This is a designer gown not a T-shirt being sold in the Albuquerque airport.

  • I was going to comment on her dress and shoes, but her pretty head and dangerous collarbones distracted me. Now all I want to do is write a poem called “Hot Peppers and Doubt.” See ya, productivity.

    • Hermione

      Ooh, I have a thing about collarbones. “Dangerous” is a good description for the kind that give me the subtle creeps. Also, Keira Knightley’s.

      • I’m less intimidated by collarbones than I am scary, bone-defining sternums.

  • Kbear

    D&G seems to be using Simplicity patterns now. I think I made that one in the 70’s.

  • Gatto Nero

    I love the *idea* of wearing D&G to this event. The colors are pretty on her, and I don’t mind the neckline so much.
    But from the front view, those bands of color are widening her. And the fit around the waist is off.
    Hate the gold hoof sandal. But her face and hair are beautiful.

  • Sam Smith

    I think I would like this better without the yellow trim.

  • Jennifer Bober

    Well, if the bodice actually FIT it might work. All of the sagging and bunching though is just killing it.

  • Paula Pertile

    That’s cool fabric, but not for a dress.

  • Tricia Rose

    I want that tablecloth!!

  • Ragnarockette

    I actually love everything about this (especially the earrings) other than the fit at her waist. It looks like it could be a smidge more tailored to show off her figure. But I think the color and print is fun and eye-catching and she looks beautiful in it.

  • Lex

    Too geriatric. Blanche Deveroux would rock this dress. The tacky shoes take it to stripper zone

  • suzq

    Change the shoes and earrings and I’m all in. Hot peppers can float anywhere they like if the print is nice.

  • FibonacciSequins

    Those shoes should only ever be worn by a Spiderman fan at ComicCon.

  • mayanempire

    This look confuses me. I almost like it…and then I don’t. I think I agree that these aren’t her colors. And yes, fugly shoes.

  • amf0001

    weirdly mumsy vibe from it

  • sweetlilvoice

    Oh my God, she is covered in peppers! That is beyond strange. I love the colors though.

  • uprightcitizen

    As to that neckline ever being flattering … Sophia Loren used to wear it all the time and it looked amazing. Monroe, too, if memory serves. The accessories killed this (those shoes!), and the print is a little juvenile and definitely not right for her.

  • cocohall

    The week has been kicked off with hot peppers and doubt. No one could have had that in mind. It is a great beginning for a novel. Those shoes look like the sad offspring of an aging chorus girl and a call girl. And if ever there was a dress that said, “Let me do this alone. I don’t need no damn statement earrings!” this is the dress. She could have only done worse if she had worn actual chili peppers as earrings. I’m thinking Eva Mendes would know how to rock this print and make it feel funky and retro, but it is a fashion bridge too far for our pale, sweet Jessica.

  • poggi

    Someone a bit taller could handle the scale of the print better and someone with more curves would get a lovely hourglass figure form this. I think a tall, curvy, plus size girl could wear this well. Send it my way Jessica. Actually send a bigger one my way.

  • Hermione

    My first thought was that she looks like one of the Real Housewives of Wherever.

  • She needs a better foundation garment.

  • decormaven

    Too many horizontal lines cut the verticality of the look. And those shoes- put them back on the DSW clearance rack, where they belong.

  • Lisalady161

    It makes her look so WIDE! And that’s a shame because I think she’s old-school drop dear gorgeous as well as a talented actress.

  • dash1211

    She just looks dumpy.

  • KT

    The first shot is awful and makes her look dowdy, but weirdly she looks sexy and exotic in the third shot. How is this possible? I guess the lesson here is to never wear a dress that has a significantly different effect from various angles. And yes, those shoes are HIDEOUS.

  • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    I would’ve been perfectly fine with the look if she hadn’t gone for the gold accesories. Tsk tsk.

  • Mothra

    Is it made out of oilcloth? Because it looks just like the cushions I have on my grandfather’s porch swing.

  • Um am I crazy? This dress is super cute on her.

  • She looks great in solid colors, this all comes off as a bit too much look. Unless she has a new career hostessing at an El Torito.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Yes, those are the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen.

  • TinyDynamo

    I don’t think I’ve ever hated a shoe quite this intensely.

  • demidaemon

    I kind of love this, despite its flaws. If it had a different neckline, I think it would be near perfection.

  • Synnae

    I saw this on ONTD over the weekend and went yuk. And that was without seeing the shoes. I don’t mind the dress or the shoes but not together and neither of them on Jes. I like seeing her in a bright colour but the red waist band is doing her no favours, instead of emphasizing her waist it makes her look wider and that neck line only works for girls with boobs and great undergarments.

    In other words, get Jes a V-neck shaped pencil dress with less colour blocking and send the dress to fellow red head Christina Hendricks who does have the height and the curves to wear this.

  • Kelly

    The shoes stub-ify her legs, and the dress seems too tight/improperly fitted. But I like that it’s fun and summery.

  • Alloy Jane

    Yikes. That shade of blue on her is not flattering. The neckline, also not flattering. The shoes are ugly, the hair is hatless Grandma in the garden, and the earrings are just too much for her. Also, I’m not predisposed to give her any points because I finally watched Zero Dark Thirty and have never been so bored by a movie in my life. We don’t seem to be voting but this is an OUT for me.

  • kat89

    I love the fabric but it looks like a vintage tablecloth

  • Jacob Bowen

    I like from the neck up and the knees down. That neckline is intriguing but a failure.

  • SorayaS

    From the neck up she looks amazing but I feel this is a GTNYD situation. And those shoes are tackyyyyyy.

  • MM4321

    Any dress that can make HER look that bad should be burned. And honey, let’s grow out those bangs and pretend they never happened, ‘kay?

  • DeniseSchipani

    The print is a drunken matchup between a flowery bedsheet and a cheery red-pepper tea towel. Me confused.

  • YoungSally


  • Jecca2244

    woah, i am getting a christina hendricks vibe from her with the hair cut.

  • quiltrx

    I didn’t know there were Grandma Hooker Shoes, but there they are.
    And that neckline type works a lot better if it goes more steeply up to the neck in the back. The shoulders have a kind of ‘shawl’ look that’s tough to pull off.

  • Zinnaida

    The pattern on this dress looks exactly like one of the “babushkas” my Ukrainian grandmother used to wear, minus the chili peppers of course. I might even have the same one in a drawer upstairs with a collection of scarves and “babushkas”. Shoes don’t relate to the outfit at all.

  • MaggieSays

    I like the shoes. Not on me, because pain, but if she wants to wear them…

  • formerlyAnon

    She needs brunette or black hair to model for the label of some mildly ethnic supermarket product in 1957, give or take 5 years. It’s cheerful and intended to sell olive oil or pasta or bottled mixed vegetables in dressing for antipasto.

  • Shades of CARMEN MIRANDA…anyone got a bowl of fruit?

  • That’s one garish print.

  • Columbinia

    Way too much going on here. I never thought a bunch of flamboyant stuff could make a beautiful woman look frumpy. Now I know.

  • crashtestbonnie

    Yes, actually, those are in fact the ugliest shoes you’ve ever seen. Yikes.